Gone Cold. -Luke Hemmings Love Story. AU-

Chapter 27

-LUKE'S POV-
"Hello?" I say again, the line is silent. For a second I thought she may have rolled over in her sleep and dialled my number by mistake. Yes. It us unlikely, but there is a slight chance she took the lock off of her phone and it happened. "Anyone there?" I ask as I start hearing deep, long breaths. I could tell by the sound and shakiness of it, that she wasn't asleep. "Kit Kat, what's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?" I ask. The breathing just continues, like she's trying to spit something out but can't. "Calm down, Kit Kat. You're fine. Talk to me."
"Luke," I hear a voice that defiantly doesn't belong to Kit say. "This is Kit's mom." She says. I can tell that she's crying.
Curious as to what is going on, I get up out of bed and turn my light on, before throwing some pants on quickly. "What's going on?" I ask as I grab my car keys and head down stairs. "Is Kit okay?"
"No, she isn't." Her mom says followed by a long spine chilling silence. "She got into an accident. She was texting and driving and drove through a red light, cars came and smashed into both sides of her."
"Jesus Christ." I say as my mouth goes dry. "They're sure it was her?" I ask.
"They're positive, I looked at her before they took her to surgery. It's bad, Luke. It's so bad." She says as she lets out a sob.
"W-where is she right now?" I ask, as calmly as I could.
"She's still in surgery." She says.
"I'll be there in ten minutes." I say and hang up. I make my way down the rest of the stairs as I grab my sweater that I left hanging off a chair in the kitchen, than walk out to the living room. I'm relieved to see that Karen and my dad aren't home yet. I make sure all of my keys are in my hand before going out to my car, not giving myself time to even process how I'm feeling right now. I just pull out of my driveway and start making my way to the hospital. I need to be there for however long it takes until she wakes up.
Before too long, I'm at the hospital. The last time I was here was when I was getting my cast removed, almost two years ago now. It's crazy how fast time flies. I make my way to the parking lot, which was still at almost two thirty in the morning completely packed. I never understood why hospital parking lots were so small if there were always so many people around the hospitals. Soon enough, I find a parking space, it's reserved for someone pregnant, but I can easily get away with saying my girlfriend went into labour if it's something that would be an issue. But, I can't see it being one. There were no guards there.
As I get out of my car, that's when everything really hits me. I'm here to wait with my girlfriends parents as she's in surgery because she got into an accident that all I know about is that it was a bad one. I try to hide my feelings as I walk into the hospital. I need to be strong for her parents. I know they're both probably a mess, and the last thing they need there right now is another person with uncontrollable emotions.
I just take a deep breath as I head to where I need to go. I know exactly where they are. Fourth Floor. I look at the stairs and decide that I don't have the time to waste. I just collect myself long enough to press the button for the elevator. Which shows up instantly. Last time I had time to prepare myself for the ride. But, not today. I just go in and hold tightly to the handle in there, I know that if I didn't hold onto something that I'd fall, and the last thing the doctors need to see is someone crawling out of the elevator. Then they'd probably bring me to the third floor, which is where all the crazies are.
The elevator ride does by decently fast. I let out a sigh of relief as the door opens. I run straight out. The elevator was so small, and it seemed to have been getting smaller by the second. As soon as I make my way to the waiting room I spot Kit's parents. Her mom is bawling and her dad is sitting there hiding his face with his hands. I walk up to her mom without giving it thought and wrap my arms around her. She hugs me back right away. "Thank you for coming." She says with a small voice.
"Thank you for calling me." I say and rub her back. "I don't know what I'd do if I heard about it at school tomorrow instead of from you."
"I can't think of another person that she would want me to call." She says. "She loves you so much, Luke."
"I know." I say and fight the tears that I can feel burning my eyes. "I love her just as much." I tell her and finally let go of her. "How bad was it?" I ask, looking up at the ceiling, because I don't want her to see the tears that I'm trying to get to go away.
"Really bad." She says. "She really hurt her head. There was some internal bleeding. She's in surgery as you know." She tells me. "They don't know if she's going to make it." She says and lets another sob out.
"Oh." I say and bite down on my lip. "What are they saying?" I ask.
"They said it could really go either way. The doctor told me not to go home and make her bed for her, but don't start planning the funeral either. She can't die. That's my baby girl. She's not just my daughter, she's my best friend and-" She stops because a few more sobs come out. I take her in my arms again. This time, I couldn't hold the tears that fell down onto my cheeks. I wiped them away before anyone could notice.
"Shh." I say. "Try not to think like that. Try to think about how proud she's going to be of the scar on her head because of the operation." I tell her, which earns me a weak laugh. "Try to think positive thoughts. I know it's hard to, but try to at least keep a mutual mind about it. She may live." That's what I'm telling myself. There is no way anything bad can happen to Kit Kat. She's way too young. At the very most this is going to be a new haircut and her lesson to stop texting and driving. That's all that's going to happen.
"Thank you for being here, Luke." She says and lets go of me. "I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back, okay?" I just nod as she walks off into her direction.
I sigh as she's out of sight. She's the easy one to talk to. I go and take a seat beside her dad. Not sure of what else to say, I just say a normal conversation starter. "Hey." I say to him with hesitation.
"You know," He says with a shaky breath. "I'm sure that Kit told you this, but she was one year old when I came into her life. From the moment I first laid eyes on her, I fell in love with that beautiful little girl. I couldn't think of a better kid to have gotten to father all of these years, and I just can't imagine possibly not being able to do that anymore."
"I know that it's hard not to, but try not to think like that." I say. "No matter what, you'll always be her father, blood related or not."
"You're a good kid, Luke." He says. "I'm glad Kit found her way to you."
"With all due respect, I need her a lot more than she needs me." I tell him. "If it weren't for Kit I'd still be some low life scum bag getting drunk every night with kids that I don't even like. She brought me back. I love her more than anything."
"You're so calm." He says to me. "You seem like you have everything under control."
"You wanna hear a secret?" I ask him with a half smile. He just looks at me, for the first time since I've been here. His face is stained with tears. "I'm scared shitless right now." I tell him. "I'm so scared that something is going to happen to that girl that I love more than anything else in the whole world. I'm freaking out right now, but I just know how to hide it." I inform him. "The only reason I'm telling you that is because I don't want you to think that I don't care. I'm trying my hardest not to lose my shit right now."
"You don't have to be brave, Luke." He says. "It's okay to be scared."
Just as I was about to reply to that, my phone starts ringing. "I'll be right back." I say before turning around a corner and answering it. It's Karen calling. "Hello?"
"Luke, where are you?" She asks. "Your dad and I saw that your car wasn't in the drive way. It's going on three in the morning. We're worried sick."
I don't know what it is, maybe everything that I had built up from when I heard about what happened, or maybe it was hearing a voice that I find so comforting. Maybe it was because nobody could see me, but as soon as I hear her voice, I start crying. Not just a tear or two on my cheek, full on crying.
"Luke, what's wrong? Do you need picked up, calm down. Talk to me." She says in a rush. "What's wrong sweetheart?"
"Kit." I manage to get out. I take a couple of deep breaths. "There was an accident. She's in surgery. The doctors said it could go either way."
"Oh no." She says. "Do you want me to come down?"
"No." I say quickly. "Just try to get some sleep or something, okay?" I ask. "I'll be home when she's out of her surgery."
"Keep me updated, okay?" She asks.
"Okay." I say in a small voice.
"I love you, okay?" She says. "Just hang in there."
"I'll try." I say. "I'll call you later, okay?"
"Okay." She says. "Talk to you then. If you need anything, don't be afraid to call me. I'll be waiting up for you."
"Thank you." I say before hanging up. Before going back out to the waiting room where her parents are, assuming her mom is back. I go to the bathroom to calm myself down a little so I can remain collected for them. I wipe the remaining tears off of my face as I go in the bathroom and lock the door so nobody will see me like this. I look at myself in the mirror. I'm a mess. I turn the cold water on as I splash my face a little, putting some color back in it. I take some paper towel and dry off my face. "Get a hold of yourself, Luke." I say to my self as I wait until my eyes aren't as red.
A few minutes later, I decide that I'm okay to go back out. So, I unlock the bathroom door and walk out, as if nothing happened. I smile as I spot her parents again. "Sorry I took so long, my dads girlfriend called me, then I went to go to the bathroom and couldn't find where it was, so I got a little lost." I lie. "Turns out it was right behind me." I say with a fake laugh. "Any news on Kit?" I ask as I go sit beside her mom on the chairs.
"Nothing that you don't already know." Her mom says with a sigh. "I feel like I'm going crazy waiting."
"I know." I say and frown a little.
"Are you okay, Luke?" She asks me. That catches me off guard, she shouldn't be asking if I'm okay. Everyone should be asking if her and Kit's dad are okay.
"I'm just trying not to think too much, you know?" I ask.
"Judging by the look on your face, I don't think that's working out too well for you." Her dad says to me.
"Yeah, it's a curse." I say with a half smile. "All I do is eat, sleep, and over-think everything. I'm just trying to stop my brain for a few moments." I tell them. "It's just a huge shock."
"You're doing a good job." Her mom says with a smile.
"Who was she texting?" I ask as I look down, swallowing the lump in my throat.
"That doesn't really matter." Her dad says. "Wither she was texting her annoying friend that comes over every night, or wither she was texting one of us, texting and driving is dangerous, she knows that."
"Yeah, but who was it?" I ask.
"As he said, it doesn't matter." Her mom says.
"It was me, wasn't it?" I ask in a small voice.
"It was." Her dad says with a sigh. "We were hoping that you wouldn't think to ask."
"What did the text say?" I ask.
"Here." Her mom says as she hands me Kit's phone. I unlock it to see that he screen saver is a picture of her and me. I smile at that as I go to her text messages. The most recent one was one to me that wasn't sent. It read 'Always remember, Hemmings. Even on the bad days I love you more than anything. Even when you're on my last nerve, I lo'. She was in the middle of typing a word when it happened. "Can you hang onto that for us so we don't lose it?" She asks me.
"Oh, sure!" I say snapping back into reality. I put her phone in my pocket.
"You lost all color in your face, Luke." Her dad says.
"This is all my fault." I say before putting my face in my hands. "I texted her so she'd have something nice to go home to, but I shouldn't have done that. I knew she had a bad habit of texting and driving. I should have waited the ten minutes to send the text." I say all in one long breath. "When she texted me back, I didn't answer, for that reason, but I should have stopped to think that she would have answered me. I'm such a fucking idiot. This is all my fault."
"Luke, honey! No." Her mom says and wraps an arm around me. "This is exactly why we didn't want to tell you who she was sending the text to. This isn't your fault. It isn't anybodies fault. It's just one of those things, and yes it sucks, and yes all of our hearts are breaking while we wait to see if she's going to pull through or not, but this is nobodies fault. Listen to me, okay? You're not to blame."
I just nod my head as I lift it back up and look at her with a smile. I managed not to completely break down when I saw the text, so I think I'm doing good. I managed to keep everything inside. Which is exactly what I need to do until I'm alone and know that she's okay. "What's taking so long? I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin if I have to wait too much longer." I say as I start picking at a lose thread on my jeans.
"It's been a couple hours now. They should be done soon." Her mom tells me, with a comforting tone.
"Do I have time to go to a vending machine?" I ask.
"Yeah, you should be fine to do that much." Her dad says.
"Alright, do you guys want anything? Something to drink, a chocolate bar, mints? Gum, chips or something?" I offer.
"We're good, thank you!" Her mom says. I just nod as I run down the hall to the vending machine. I get myself a diet coke before making my way and rushing back to where I was sitting. I take a few sips out of the bottle before putting it down on the floor.
My heart drops, yet starts pounding at the same time when I see a doctor walking towards us. I automatically jump up when I know for sure that he's coming towards us. His face is expressionless, which I take as a good sign. When my mom died, I had a good idea by the look on the doctor's face. So, maybe this means everything went good.
"For Kit Linkin." The doctor says in a tone that is as expressionless as his face. But her parents and I all walk up to her. He stands silent for a moment.
"What happened?" I ask, I didn't mean to blurt it out but the silence is killing me.
"The surgery was very complicated." He says. "Kit was bleeding from the brain a lot."
"But she's okay, right?" I ask. I look over at her parents, they're just standing there in each others arms. "She pulled through and you're waiting for her to wake up, right?" I ask.
"I'm so sorry." The doctor says. "Kit suffered major brain damage along with the bleeding, I knew going into this surgery that there was a good chance that she was too far gone." He says. "I'm so sorry, but we couldn't pull her through. She was almost breaindead when we started. I did everything I could. I'm truly sorry." He says before walking off.
I look back over at her parents. They are sobbing in each others arms. I don't know what's going on, so I just run. I start running, and I don't look back. I run all the way down the stairs to the main floor, and out the doors. I run to my car and just start driving. Not letting myself think about what I just heard.
Kit Kat is gone. Just like that. I held her in my arms just hours ago, and now she's just gone. I kissed her and told her I loved her not too long ago, and now who she is, is just gone. It doesn't make sense to me, no matter which way I think about it. No matter how I try to word it to myself, I can't make this make sense. This has to be some sort of sick joke. The second I get home, I'm going to get a call from her, and she's going to be laughing, saying she got me. That has to be what's happening. She can't be gone. Not after everything that happened that night. We were finally happy together, and now she is just gone. It can't be true.
When I get to my house, I park my car in the drive way. I just shake my head and lock my car doors. I walk into my house and take my shoes and sweater off. I set my keys on the table. When I walk into the living room, I see that my dad and Karen are sitting down on the couch together. They both waited up for me. "Judging by how calm you are, I take it the surgery was a success?" Karen asks. "Was she awake? Did you get to see her at all?"
"Or was she still asleep? They don't wake up right away a lot of the time." My dad says.
"Or not at all." I say as I go sit beside my dad on the couch.
"What do you mean, Luke?" My dad asks.
"She's.." I say and shake my head, trying to bring myself to say it. "She's dead." I say. "She died. The surgery didn't happen in time, I guess. They couldn't save her."
"Luke, I'm so sorry." Dad says, in awe.
"I don't think she's really dead." I say. "I think that the doctor got something wrong there. She can't be dead." I explain. "I just had her over a couple of hours ago. There is no way she's just gone."
"Luke, honey." Karen says. "The doctors don't make mistakes like that. If they said she's gone, than she is. I'm so sorry." She says through tears.
"No." I say and stand up. "No. She's not dead." I yell. "She's not fucking dead! Everybody texts and drives, Kit isn't the one person that is going to die from it! She's not dead!"
"Why don't you take one of your pills and go to bed, Luke." My dad says in a calm voice. "We can talk more about this in the morning when you wake up and your not in so much shock, yeah?"
"I'll go take a pill, but only because I'm tired. She's not dead!" I say as I walk upstairs and take one of my pills. I then go and lay down on my bed. But, not even the pill is making me go to sleep. I keep on playing what the doctor said over and over again in my head. The way he said it. The look on his face as he said it. The look on her parents faces when I looked back at them before running off. After laying for awhile, I decide to go back downstairs to talk to my dad and Karen. Maybe I'll fall asleep on the couch or something. Because there is no doubt that I'm tired as hell, but I can't fall asleep.
I walk mid way down the stairs as I hear Karen talking, so I just take a seat listen in on what she's saying. "Yeah, he's here." She says. I move down a couple stairs quietly, so I can see them. I see that she is on the phone. "He's in denial." She says. "No, we can handle that. You just worry about making her arrangements. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." She says with a small voice. "I'm so sorry about everything. We're here for you guys, okay?" She asks. "Bye." She says before putting the phone down.
"It's so unfair." My dad says. He's crying too. "She shouldn't have died. It's just wrong."
"I know, it makes me sick to think that that actually happens." Karen says as she goes over and wraps an arm around my dad.
"I feel so bad for Luke too." My dad says. "As if the kid didn't have enough going through his head, now he has that his girlfriend died because she got into an accident while texting him." He takes a deep breath. "Why can't anything go easy for that boy?"
"He will be okay." Karen says. "We just need to help him process this the best way we can. Starting tomorrow." She says. "When he wakes up, we're going to have to tell it to him the way it is. It's not going to be fun, but he can't just be in denial forever. He has to be prepared for her funeral."
"Yeah, you're right." My dad says. "Tomorrow we will talk more about it to him. I'm just so worried about him, you know?" He asks.
"I know." She says. "I am too, he's been through so much."
At that point, I don't know what it was, but I had heard enough. Maybe the pill was kicked in enough to let me actually go to sleep. So, I quietly make my way back up to my room, closing the door behind me as I strip down to just my underwear and go lay in bed, covering myself with the blanket that my mom had gotten me.
Just as I thought, I can't fall asleep. I can't explain the way I feel. My stomach feels wrong, my head feels numb and all in all, I just feel exhausted and confused. I decide to close my eyes, knowing that I will fall asleep sooner or later.

I open my eyes as I grab my phone off of my night stand. I see that it is only eight in the morning. I guess I really didn't sleep much last night. I can't picture myself going back to sleep any time soon, so I just roll out of bed and pull some sweats and a white top on. I walk downstairs and out to the kitchen where I know Karen will be. To my surprise, dad is awake and down there too. I sit at the table across from my dad as Karen is over the stove, cooking something or other.
"How are you doing today?" My dad asks.
"Fine." I say and shrug.
"Her parents gave you her phone last night, they were saying." My dad says, casually.
"Oh shit, yeah. I forgot to give it back. They probably want it."
"No, they said they want you to keep it. Along with a few other of her things. They said the sooner they get it out the better, I said at the very least they can store it here, but I'd figured you'd want it. They just want the little reminders gone. I can't say I blame them. I can't imagine what they're going through."
"Look," I say and look down at the table. "You don't have to beat around the bush. I know that she's gone. I'm more calm than I was last night, but some how in more shock than ever. I get that she's not coming back.It's just the best way I know to handle things is to hide how I feel about them. And yes, I'd love anything that I can get of hers. I'll take anything they're getting rid of."
"Last night you had me worried." My dad says. "You were really in denial."
"I knew she wasn't coming back. I knew it. I just didn't want to believe it. I thought that maybe if I wished and hoped hard enough that maybe I'd wake up and this will all be a twisted dream. But, it's not." I say and take a deep breath. "Kit Kat is gone."
"She'll never be far." Karen says as she wipes a tear off of her face before handing me a plate full of food. "As long as you remember her, a piece of her will always live on."
"But it's not the same." I say and push the plate away. "I'm sorry, I'm not hungry."
"Luke, you have to eat something." My dad says before sliding the plate back over to me. "Even just a bite so you can say that you did."
"I feel like if I eat, I'll puke." I say.
"You wont, trust me." He says.
"Fine." I say before taking a piece of toast and taking a bite off of the end. I barely manage to swallow it. "I really can't." I say.
"At least you tried." Karen says before taking the plate away. "Want something to drink?" She asks.
"Water please." I say before she goes to the fridge and gets a bottle of water that she passes to me. I take a sip out of it before setting it back down at the table.
"Luke, I'm not going to make the same mistake I did when your mom died." Dad says. "We need to talk about this." He says. "You need to tell us how you're feeling."
I sigh. I don't have it in me to even argue. "I feel confused." I say. "I feel ripped off. I feel like this is just some sick joke, but it's not. The girl I fell in love with is dead. She's not coming back. How do you think I feel?" I ask before putting my head down on the table as uncontrollable tears start running down my face. "I love her so much. How can she just be gone?" I ask with a broken voice.
"I hate that you have to go through this." Dad says as he gets up from his seat and walks over to me. He wraps his arms around me. I get up so I can hug him properly. I rest my forehead on his shoulder as he rubs my back. "I wish that there is something I could do to make you feel better."
"It hurts so much." I say in a sob as the doorbell goes off.
"That's Kit's parents with some of her stuff. Do you want to see them?" My dad asks.
I just nod as I let go of my dad and head towards the door with him behind me. I open the door, with the biggest smile I could fake, though there are still tears running down my face, one after another, after another. I don't bother trying to wipe them off, I know new ones will just take their place. "Hi," I say with my shaky voice.
"Luke, this is all for you." Her dad says before handing me a couple of boxes. "We can't stand to look at any of it. It hurts too much. We kept a few things, but we also wanted you to have a few things." He says.
"Thank you so much." I say before bringing both of her parents into an awkward hug. They both look miserable. I assume that I do too.
"Thank you for taking all of this off our hands." Her mom says. "I guess we'll see you around?" She asks.
"Yeah, you will. Call me when you have the arrangements all figured out, okay?" I ask. They just nod before giving me one more hug than making their way back to their car. "I'll be back down later. I want to go through all of this alone." I say. My dad just nods as I take all the stuff upstairs with me.
I have two boxes. In the first one, there is little decorations she had around her room. I recognize almost all of them. There are also a few of her shirts, two sweaters and the bottle of perfume she always wore, which smelt like strawberries. I pick one of the sweaters up, and bring it up to my face. It smells just like her.
The other box had some random things in it like one of her blankets that was on her bed, a couple of the stuffed animals that she had and a few of the silly pictures that she had of herself that scattered through her room. I'm in quite a few of them.
"Kit Kat, why did you have to leave me?" I ask as more tears start running down my face. "I miss you so much already and it hasn't even been twenty four hours yet. Knowing that you're not coming back, makes me want give up on everything, but I know that that isn't what you'd want. I'm going to make you proud, Kit Kat. I promise. In the mean time, keep my mom company up there or wherever you are." I say as I take her boxes and set them on my floor, but grabbing her sweater and wrapping it up in my arms. Holding onto it so tight as I lay down on my bed. I bring it up to my face so I can smell her off of it. I really don't know how I'm going to do this without her.