I walk mid way down the stairs, sitting down. My plan to just go to bed super early has failed me. I woke up about an hour later because my stomach was yelling at me to feed it. I ignored it for as long as I could, but I needed food. I let out a long sigh as I notice that Karen is still here. I'm surprised. "I'm so sorry again about Luke." My dad says, as he brings her out something to eat. "I'd love to be able to tell you that that never happens, but it does all the time. You never know with him. He could be almost human one minute, but it's like he remembers and then he just snaps. I don't know what to do with him anymore."
"Andy, honey." She says. "Luke is your son. You're going to have to find a way to handle him. You have to think about what he went through. He was with her. They we're probably mid conversation about something, then he just woke up in the hospital. He spent the next day alone. Put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel?"
"Pretty alone." My dad says, in defeat. "I've tried everything, Karen." He says. "I've tried telling him that I'm there for him, I've tried being his best friend, worst enemy, everything. I'm starting to think that he's too far gone."
I shake my head as I take in everything that they're saying. Is he ready to give up on me? Is she really sticking up for me? Why should she care? When is he finally going to break and stop caring? "Luke is a person, not a pet that you can just shoo away when he gets into bad habits." Karen says. "You need to stop apologizing about his actions long enough for you to go in and talk to him about it until he talks back. Not until you get annoyed with his lack of a response. It may not seem like it, but Luke is human." She says. After that, I've heard enough. I just decide to go back to my room. I'm sure that there is something there that I can eat. Plus, after hearing that, I'm not too hungry anymore.
She's probably only saying these things to get on my dads good side. For bragging rights. So she can say that she helped him save me or whatever. When I get back up to my room, I quietly close the door and check in my mini fridge to see if there's anything that I can eat. I see a sandwich that I forgot about a couple of days ago. It's not ideal, but it's better than nothing. I quickly eat that, trying to have it gone, before I notice how it tastes.
As I hear someone walking up the stairs, I sprint over to my bed, landing on my stomach. I jumped so fast that I almost fell off the bed, but I catch myself before I roll off. I cover myself with my blanket as I hear a knock on my door. Not bothering to look over, I hear footsteps, then I feel my bed sink down a little as someone takes a seat. "Luke, are you awake?" I hear my dad ask. I don't bother to answer. "Karen just left. I guess that didn't go as planned, huh?"
"You know," He says. "You're a lot easier to talk to when you're sleeping." I hear a chuckle. "Maybe because I don't have to worry about what you'll come back with." I roll my eyes as he says that. He takes a deep breath. "I love you, kid." He says. "You know that though. You must." He sighs. "Luke, I love you more than anything else in the world, but I can't stand you." Hearing that hurts a little. I just brush it off. "I'll look at you when I'm yelling at you, or while I have a hold of you, and I'll see her." He says with a shaky breath, before I hear the sound of crying. Kill me now. "I can't help but think, this is her son that I have my arm around, trying to stop him from leaving me. Or this is her son who I had just hurt. I look into your eyes, and all I see is her." I grab a tighter told of my blanket. "Karen really makes me happy." He says. "As happy as I can be."
"And I don't know what to do. I'm afraid you're going to end up scaring her off. I mean, could you blame her?" He asks. I almost say something, agreeing with him, but then I remember that I'm 'asleep' I don't want him knowing that I can hear everything he's saying. I'm surprised I didn't scare her off today. "I'm going to go before I wake you up." He says and stands up. "I love you, son." He says before walking out of my room.
I really don't know what to do with all of what he told me. So, I just do what I'd normally do. I open my window and light a smoke. I feel pressure leaving my body as I start puffing. When I'm done, I pinch the end of it- using the right hand this time. And I throw it out the window before closing it back up. I go over to my bed and lay down as I pull my phone out to pass my time. As the bell for lunch goes off, I rush out of class. Today went by much slower than yesterday. I guess I had Kit for much of the day yesterday. But, now Ashton is back and she spent the whole morning with him, as per usual.
I didn't go anywhere near the music room today. Usually I do every day at break. But I'm not doing that anymore. Not for a long time anyways. I couldn't bare the thought of her hearing me sing again. Especially not that song. I used to love it when people heard me sing. I mean, not to sound cocky, but I know I'm good. And her hearing me sing gave me that rush that I used to get while playing a talent show or something. But singing isn't something that I tell anyone about anymore. I've changed and so have my hobbies.
I walk into the cafeteria as Kit waves me over to go sit with her, Michael, Calum and Ashton. I shake my head as the kid that I usually sit with also waves me over. With the lack of sleep I got last night, I really don't think that I could handle a whole lunch period with him today. I take a deep breath in as I make my way over to the table that I used to sit at every day. I take the empty seat next to Kit. "Holy shit, he actually joined us." Calum says as I shoot a dirty look over at him.
"Are we still on for after school?" I ask as I ignore Calum's comment and turn over so I'm facing Kit.
"Hell yeah." She says with a small laugh. "I can't wait to watch them shoot a touchdown."
I can't help but smile as she says that. The fact that she thought she got that right is what's striking me funny. I let out a little laugh as everyone at the tables eyes shoot over at me. I clear my throat. "You know, Kit Kat. I really don't think that is what happens in basket ball." I say, in my usual tone.
"Who is that kid, anyways?" Michael asks and nods in my 'friends' direction. "He seems like he's further up your ass than you are."
I shrug. "I actually don't know." I say.
"How can you not know, you talk to him every day!" Ashton says.
"He talks to me every day. I rarely reply. He's told me who he is. I'm sure of it. But I have no clue." I say.
"Wait, you don't even know his name?" Calum asks. I notice Kit falls back on her chair and smiles.
I give her a funny look, but then just shake it off. "No, I have no clue what his name is. He knows mine. I have no clue. I don't think I ever gave it to him."
"You have no ideas what it may be?" Michael asks.
"No. Not a clue." I say.
"That's hilarious!" Ashton says and giggles. I haven't heard his overused giggle in so long, I almost forgot about it.
"Well, I think he looks like a Chad." Calum says and looks over at him, judgmentally.
"No way, man!" Ashton says. "He's defiantly a Dan."
"No, I think he's more of a Marcus." Michael says. "But strictly only Marcus. He will hurt you if you call him Marc."
I let out a little laugh. "I've tried to name him." I admit. "But all I can come up with is Douche Bag, but mostly because I'm looking for a way to hang myself when he talks to me." I joke as they all laugh a little. "But I definantly think it would be along the lines of what Michael said." I say. "What do you think, Kit Kat?" I ask.
"I think he's a Ryan." She says. "No specific or funny reason. He just looks like a Ryan to me."
"Now I want to know his name." Calum says with a sigh.
"Then go up and introduce yourself." I say.
"Yeah, I'll pass." Calum says and goes back to his sandwich.
Before too long, lunch ends. I can't help but admit that I really enjoyed this one. It almost felt normal talking to them. But, not quite. I can still tell that I am the odd one out and that they we're just being nice to me. But I can't help but, not miss. Because I've taught myself not to miss people. But envy the old days where I got to call them my friends. Because honestly, they we're pretty good ones.
Before too long, the whole day is over. I got to sit next to Kit in the last class. We tried to figure out this dudes name during attendance, but it went by too quick. We couldn't catch it. When that class was over with, Kit met me in the door way as we made our way to the basketball field. We chose the seats in the very back row at the end. Where nobody else would really want to sit. It was the least social seats we could find. "So." She says as the bleachers start filling up. "What is going to happen?"
"They're going to throw a ball to each other and into a net. If it's our net, we're happy. If it's not, we're not." I explain to her.
Before too long the place was completely packed. I was wrong about our seats being not social. There was a drunk dude right beside me. I didn't even know that you were aloud to be drunk at a school game. I don't know too much about what's going on, honestly. All that I know is that this drunk dude is really getting on my fucking nerves.
I move as close as possible as I can to Kit, to the point to where our bodies we're touching. She feels soft and warm. But, I needed some space between me and Drunkey. His hairy arms were rubbing up against my arms.
"There's your best friend!" Kit yells in my eat so I can actually hear her.
"Oh yay!" I say, sarcastically. "Remind me to get his autograph after the game!" I say as she starts laughing.
"Oh my god, yay!" She yells as the ball goes in a net. My eyes widen as I see that she's the only person cheering.
"Wrong team, Kit Kat!" I say as I notice that she's starting to get looks.
"Oh, shit!" She yells. "Boo! You guys are whores!" She yells down at them, collecting more dirty looks from the people surrounding us.
I flip a couple of them off, because the looks she was getting we're extremely unnecessarily. She cheered for the wrong team once. It happens. There is no need for everyone to be being such an ass to her about it. Jesus Christ these people are on my nerves. "Oh shut up!" I yell to the people in front of us, who we're saying how some people shouldn't be aloud to watch the games. "She made a mistake, judging by that haircut you've made plenty in your life!" I snap. I can't stand how mean people are being to her.
"Dude," The drunk guy slurs. "It's really sweet that you're sticking up for your girlfriend and all, but you need to-" He gets cut off as he starts throwing up, just missing our shoes.
"Nope." I say and stand up. "I'm done here." I announce as Kit gets up and follows me, bumping and pushing through many of people. A lot of them seemed to be drunk as well. Buddy beside me's wasn't the only pile of puke I saw while trying to make my way through. I grab a hold of Kit's arm so I wouldn't lose her as I start pushing through the group of people who weren't on the bleachers. I let her arm go as we finally get out of the basketball court.
"You really didn't have to stick up for me like that." She says with a smile. "Everyone there is drunk, I wasn't taking offence." She insures me.
"Well, I was." I say. "Drunk or not they were treating you wrong." I tell her as we make our way out of the parking lot and to the usual place, the empty baseball field. We sit next to each other on those bleachers. "Well, thank you." She says, breaking the silence with. "I've never really had a guy stick up for me like that before." She admits.
"Well, you've been hanging around the wrong guys." I say.
"Why aren't you an asshole to me anymore?" She asks, catching me off guard. "No offence, but why do you suddenly want to be nice to me?"
"It's not a sudden thing." I say and sigh. She may as well know. "I never wanted to be mean to you. I didn't like being mean to you from day one. I don't know what it is about you, but I can't hurt you. I can't leave you alone." I tell her as my heart starts beating really fast."
"Why me?" She asks.
I shrug. "Your guess is about as good as mine is." I say. "You're different, Kit Kat." I tell her as my face starts to feel hot.
"Bad different or good different?" She asks.
"Just different." I say. "You don't just judge me off of what other people say about me. Which is more than I can say about anyone else."
"I don't believe in judging someone off of another persons opinion of them." She explains. "I find out for myself. If I didn't see something in you, I would have kicked your ass to the curb the first day we met. There is so much more to you than meets the eye."
I just shrug again as I look over at her. She's blushing. I move closer to her as I smile. "You have an eyelash." I tell her as I brush it off of her cheek. I look into her eyes, to see that she is also looking into mine. I place my hand on her cheek again as I look down at her lips.
She also looks down at mine as we slowly start moving closer and closer together, before there is no more personal space left between us. So, we start moving our faces together. Soon our foreheads touch as our lips inch closer and closer together. Just as they're about to meet. "Home team for the win 2k15!" I hear someone yell as he runs through our field.
Catching me off guard, I jump and completely pull away. "It's getting late." I say as I get up. "I should really go home."
"Want me to drive you?" She offers.
"No, I'd better walk." I say before getting up and quickly walking away. I take every short cut I possibly can, but the walk home seems longer than ever. How could I let myself almost kiss her? That would ruin everything. She's the only person that I genuinely like being around right now and kissing her would prove everyone right. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want them to think that I only hang around her to get some ass. What appears scary to me is that I would have kissed her if that cock block hadn't of ran through the field. I'm almost grateful that he did that, even though it scared the shit out of me.
I let out a sigh of relief as I make my way into my house. I hear my dad in the living room talking to Karen. "Luke!" He says in a happy voice as I walk into the living room. "I was hoping you'd be home soon. I think we need to have a talk!" He says.
"Tomorrow." I say, not really sure of what else to say. I still can't look him in the eye after what I heard last night. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed." I say. He just sighs disappointingly as I walk upstairs. I undress myself as I go lay down on my bed with my blanket over me. I try not to think of Kit and the kiss that almost happened, but it's all I can think about. I know I shouldn't want it so badly, but I do. I really do.
YOU ARE READING
Gone Cold. -Luke Hemmings Love Story. AU-
Fanfic"Feel the pain, don't show it. Don't let anybody know that it's there." -Luke.