Wreck

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A week after the crash Billie was free to go. He was on a load of medication and pain killers, but he had to cope with the cast on his arm and being careful around his chest, but other than that he was okay. The bruising around his eyes and nose had gone down but there were still dull purple smudges there.

All of this information had come from Mike because Billie still wasn't talking to me.

I went to Billie's to see him when I was sure that Mike had left. I had to try, yet again, to tell him I was sorry.

I waited outside his house until I saw Mike leave and then snuck round the back. Billie always absent mindedly left a window open so I just climbed through that.
I crept through the house and up to Billie's room and listened for movement. There was none so, assuming he was asleep, I opened the door.

He was in bed lying on his back, but not asleep; he was sobbing. As soon as he saw the door swing inwards he wiped his eyes. "Sorry, Mike, I thought I heard you lea-hey! What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you." I stood where I was, "are you okay?"

"No, I'm fucking in pain!" He snapped and then winced, resting his head back on the pillow.

"Have you taken something for it?"

"Of course I fucking have! Do you think I'm a moron or something?"

"Okay." I decided to be patient with him. Getting into an argument now wouldn't help anything. "Well can I do anything?"

"I think you've done enough, don't you?"

I looked down. "Billie, I know you're in pain, and I know you're pissed with me, but you gotta understand that I am so sorry. You don't know how bad I feel and if I could have changed it, I never would have said anything. It's killing me to see you like this, and killing me even more that you, my best friend, won't talk to me."

He didn't say anything so I walked over to him.
"Don't look at me." He mumbled, rubbing the dampness away from his face.

"Don't be silly, I've seen you upset before. I want to make sure you're okay."

He shook his head, "it feels like my chest's being crushed..."

I sat on the bed next to him and squeezed his hand. "I'm so, so, so sorry, Billie. I know it's my fault, but please forgive me."

"Of course I forgive you," Billie looked up at me, "you're my best friend, I don't blame you for this, it's just..."

"What?"

"What you said in the car? I can't forget that... and I don't know what to say."

"Oh." I got a wave of sickness as I realised that things might not be the same again because I had told Billie about my feelings.

"I mean, I get that you had to tell me, and I understand how you feel, it's just that with the whole divorce, I'm not sure I want to get into anything yet... it's so soon... and you're my friend, Tré, I've known you, like, forever, y'know? I just don't know..."
He coughed and his face contorted with pain. "Fuck."

"Can't you take anything else? I mean the pills obviously aren't doing anything... I'm gonna call the hospital and ask-"

"Don't." He interrupted me.

"What? Why?"

He sighed, leaning his head back on the pillow once more. "I don't need any other pills."

"Well, you clearly need something stronger-"

"-no, I don't need other pills. I haven't taken the other ones."

"What? Why?"

"I don't want to. I can't swallow them, they make me feel sick and it's like admitting defeat."

"By taking pain killers? Billie, you were in a car crash, how is taking pain relief like admitting defeat?"
He shrugged. It was clearly an excuse not to take them.
"Right, you're taking your meds."

Billie groaned, "but I don't wanna..."

"I don't care, you're taking them, even if I have to force them down your throat."
... I could think of something else I'd like to force down his throat...
Not the time!

I went to get him a glass of water and set about getting his tablets. He was taking them whether he liked it or not.