Wreck

Over You

I was downstairs, letting Billie sleep after we had watched a film, when I heard a thud. I quickly made my way to his room to find Billie reaching across his bed for a glass of water, concentration freezing his face. He had knocked off his lamp but was still laying completely flat on his back with his arm outstretched for the drink.

"Need some help?" I chuckled at his struggle for something so simple.

"I can do it." He moved his body closer and gritted his teeth when his ribs protested.

I stepped closer to him, "come on, let me just-"

"No! I can do it! Just leave me alone!"

I watch him with a frown spreading across my face. He was getting upset, I could tell... "come on, Bill." I picked up the glass and held it out to him but he didn't take it. He let his arm drop back onto the mattress and lay still, staring at the ceiling with his lips pressed into a thin line.
"Billie..." I started but a slight quiver of his lip made me stop talking.
"Bill, don't worry about it. I-"

"-I'm fucking fed up." He said bluntly, his voice cracking a little towards the end.

"I know."

"No, you don't know!"

"Okay, I don't know but I do understand how you're feeling."

His eyebrows bowed a little and he pressed his eyes shut.

"Come on, Billie. Don't be like that." I sighed, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"Get off me!"

I didn't back down, "look, it's me, okay? It's not like I'm gonna think less of you if you actually show emotion, is it?"
He tried to shrug me off but I hugged him (as best I could while he was laying down) and held onto him while he attempted to struggle free.
"Billie, just stop it."
He stopped moving and lay still. After a while he began to sob and I held him tighter, letting him get it out of his system.

"In a couple of months this will all be over and you'll be fine."

"It's not that." He gasped between sobs.

"What do you mean?" I asked, pulling away to look at his face.

"I can't say. It's nothing I can't deal with."

"Billie. Tell me." I raised an eyebrow and waited until he replied.

"It's just... I used to have a crush on you... like the first 3 years we knew each other, I was fucking obsessed with you... and..." a raspy breath, "I thought I'd gotten over you. I... was past it and was fine, and now you've brought it all up again, I don't know how I feel anymore... I don't want to feel..." He cried for a few minutes more. I couldn't do anything but stare at him. What the hell do I say to that?