Angel in red (destiel AU)

What it is to be Novak

Dean's POV

If I had to sum up Cas' family It'd be... Me on every kind of illegal drug and sugar combined, I don't think I can even find a word.
Cas didn't always seem like he belonged there, sometimes he was talking along with the topic of Lucifer's football game or his dad's latest operation and other times he'd be clutching the side of his head gritting his teeth.

I really did think a lot about him we did tones of crazy crap together; we'd laugh until we cried, we put glue in each others hair gel, we'd skid around the hospital in socks like the silver surfer...
Cas is a laugh and I never understood the people who hated him.

At the table me and Cas sat together as we usually did; with Cas on my left and then Anna, Raphael, Ariel, Gabe, Chuck, Naomi, Lucifer and then Balthazar on my right.
I never did manage to grasp the art of Novak conversation...

"Today I got a qualification in-"

"A worm, like this big"

"AND THEN SHE CAUGHT FIRE"

"All over me"

"When did we get a fish tank?"

"I don't get paid until monday so-"

I say conversation... I mean free for all.

I look to Cas as everybody talks at once but he sitting rubbing the side of his head like he usually does when he's having a really bad day.

I nudge him to grab his attention.

"Just stop talking" Cas mutters under his breath completely oblivious.

"Cas?" I try to attract his attention.

"I'm not going to do that"
He murmurs again louder now still running his head.

I watch his closely taking in his every word.

"I will not do that...no no...that's not me... I'd never do it...I'm not in love with him"
I was puzzled... I mean I knew Cas was gay, everybody did but who was this mysterious 'him.'

I snap him out of it with a light punch.

"Cas you okay bud?" I say my voice hidden beneath screams and yells.

"Yeah yeah... Fine" he smiles unconvincingly.

Who could Cas possibly be 'in love' with.... Not that I cared... Well it did kinda sting a little, only because me and him wouldn't be each others priorities if Cas was hooked on somebody else.

Cool it Winchester, you've know Cas for years... He wouldn't just leave you.
No he wouldn't.

In that second Cas grabbed his knife by the side of his dinner plate and plunged it back down through his other hand.

He had a steak knife through his hand...

"I SAID I WONT DO IT!!"
he stands up and screams at tge top of his lungs.

There was blood everywhere, it was thick and filled my nose in no time. Cas remained stood still ranting to the voice in his head.

Chuck rushed around the table to him in order to calm him down.
I caught a few of Cas' slurred words...

"I'd never hurt him... He's my best friend... I don't love him like that...no...shut up"

I was the one he supposedly loved... Well that was unexpected.

"Cas listen you have to calm down..."

Chuck was attempting to talk over him but it wasn't working.
I'd hardly noticed that Ariel had left the room.

"I knew it" she dashed back into the kitchen and held up Cas' packet of blue pills that were still untouched.

Damn it Cas

"I got this chuck" I leap to my feet and grab Cas by the shoulders, ushering him away upstairs.

"Okay thunder Cas let's just chill"
I grab both sides of his face and fix my gaze to his
He stopped twitching all of a sudden and dragged his eyes to mine.

"Sorry..." He whispers guilt overriding his face.

"That's alright bud, that's okay but I gotta get you cleaned up"
I grip his hand firmly and examine his wound.

Cas' room was the smallest in the house and was bright, tidy and glowing in an orange lamp.

"Dean?" He stutters, he begins to look flustered.

"Yeah" I don't look up but I feel him shift awkwardly.

"Did you hear what I said earlier?" His voice quivers.

"I heard you say a lot-"

"Did you hear me say-"

I cut him off silently crashing my lips to his. I remain there momentarily and then swiftly pull the blade from out of his hand.

He screams loudly.

"DEAN YOU DOUCHE!" he laughs amused yet with a hint of pain.

"Distraction 101" I wink.

"yeah" he's still very flustered.

"Chill man it's an actual medial thing ya know" I realise my mistake almost instantly... Cas was awestruck... Drooling and looking bewildered.

"Hello... Bff are you in there?" I speak again.

Crap...

"YOU CAN DISTRACT ME ANYDAY!"

"KISSY KISSY"

"ADORABLE!!!!"

Anna, Balth and luci were loitering about the door.

"Oh stop gawking, can't a completely straight guy distract his not so straight best friend?"
My attempts were ridiculous...

"Not with that method"
Anna squeals and races off followed by Satan and Balth.

"Thank you Dean.."
Cas smiles radiantly.

"No problem... Anyway I should head home" I cough to remove his gaze from mine. His breath was red hot on my face, still so close.

"See ya Cas" I skip off trying to act as casual as I could, but I felt as if I was being compelled into running back and pulling him in for another kiss.

As I walked down the stairs my mind raced, I thought back to two minutes before...

The two of us so close, his hands through my hair, pulling and tugging. His breath sweet and sticky intertwining with my own.

"See you later everyone" I call on the way out.

"BYE DEAN!"

"DON'T STAND ON THE SNAIL NEST ON THE PATH"

"LOVE YOU DEANIE"

"LEAVING SO SOON"

"CAS WON'T COPE WITHOUT YOUR KISSES"

I love the means of goodbye from the Novaks, it was much more warm than my shabby little home and being a part of the Novak family even for a short time was strangely satisfying.

Cas however was NOT MY TYPE!
I wasn't interested in boys at all...
Cas and I were best friends and the psychosis made it hard enough without emotional attachment. Not that I want any emotional attachment... Urhh God.

I sprint down the street the warm night
Slapping my face. The scent of Cas still lingered around me as I thought hard about how I could visit the hospital with tomorrow.
I needed something original, I'd used every excuse in the book and broken every part of almost every limb.
I was too tired to think of any cunning plans tonight, I'd sort it all out tomorrow. I licked my lips subconsciously and the taste still lingered... Urh he's your best friend and you're straight, STRAIGHT!
acting about as straight as spaghetti, I get not-so-straight when heat is applied...