Finding the Missing Piece: Book 5

Chapter Ten

Katniss POV-

"Prim. Dad. I just miss you both so much right now and I just wish you could be here to see everything Peeta and I've done." I cry out.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been out here in awhile but I've been busy, you both know why." I shrug.

"Prim, you have a beautiful niece and Dad, you have a granddaughter now." I inform them, even though they surely know and helped send our perfect baby our way.

I stare at the dirt before me, "Her name is Willow. You remember that song, Dad?"

He taught it to me after all.

Deep in the Meadow, Under the Willow.

I pick at some dead weeds and manage a smile, "She looks so much like Peeta and I love her so much but I feel like I can't even stand to be around her sometimes but part of me doesn't want to ever let her out of my arms." I start.

I shrug my shoulders and yank a weed from the root, "It's not I don't want her, she's the perfect baby actually but I'm afraid of getting too attached. The same why I am with Peeta. I don't want either of them to be taken from me." I begin to sob into my hands.

I don't know how to explain it.

I guess I'm not too different from my mother.

Willow and Peeta make me so so happy but sometimes, I just want to be alone and lately, I've been wanting to be completely alone.

I'm just afraid that if I spend too much time with them both that I won't know how to go on if something were to happen to either of them.

I don't even think I could keep our promises about Willow if something were to happen to Peeta, I would go mad.

I just know that even if I distance myself, I'm still going to lose it if something happened to them.

I love them both with my entire being, more than I've ever loved anyone before.

I'm so afraid though.

I feel like I don't deserve to be this happy again and I hate it.

All these lost souls that I've moved on from are haunting me.

My dad.

Prim.

Ryan.

David.

Mr. and Mrs. Mellark.

Even though, I know they're not haunting me.

They're not mad that Peeta and I have moved on.

I'm sure not even Peeta's mother is unhappy with our life together.

"It's been the best experiences of my life but it's been so hard." I cry hysterically as the words slip from my mouth.

"I feel like there is so much happiness in me that it's making me absolutely miserable and sick and I hate it. I hate myself." I choke out.

I feel like I'm just there to supply Willow with food and maybe I am.

I feel like that's all I do is feed her and it may be a little different but she's so disinterested in me so it's hard for me to feel a bond with her.

Peeta says she adores me but I don't see it at all-she loves him. He's been her favorite person since she could hear him or feel him when she was in my belly.

And I'm not jealous, their relationship makes me happy but she was with me nonstop for nine months.

I just wish our bond was better and maybe I'm not seeing what is really there.