Riptide

Chapter Seventeen: The Darkside

I don't know why I'm straightening my hair. I'm just going to the gym, I think. I don't know why I'm applying just the tiniest bit of eyeliner. It's the gym, I tell myself. I put on denim shorts and a loose white top over my bikinis, and look at myself in the mirror. Is it going to be obvious that I've tried to look good? He's seen me at my worst, so who am I kidding? But I also want to look good. Not just for him, for me. To give me that little bit more confidence that I desperately need.

Mum and Kris aren't home as I leave the house, and I'm thankful. If one of them saw me with my hair straightened like this they would ask questions, and that's not what I need.

It's still earlier than we planned to meet, so Ryan isn't waiting outside his house like I half expected him to be. This makes it easier, and I make my way across the park and onto the beach. I walk along the sand, my eyes fixed on the point, and try to keep a steady pace.

I step from the sand onto the lowest rocks, and then step from rock to rock, making my way out. The waves crash against the rocks, and it's windy but still hot. I sit on a large dry rock and look out to the wild sea. There are surfers out there, trying to avoid the kids and the crowds. Maybe that's where I should be. Out there, surfing, not here, waiting for Nathan.

As I'm waiting, I imagine that he never comes. It scares me, because I need the closure of telling him, to his face, that I don't want anything to do with him. But then I could go back and meet Ryan, and pretend this never happened. And maybe everything would work out okay.

But then I hear someone on the rocks behind me, and when I turn around it's him. He's wearing black board shorts and no shirt, and he has his surfboard under his arm. He places the board down over a rock and sits on the board, and then taps on it, inviting me to sit on the board next to him. I swallow and then stand up, making my way carefully over the rocks and then perching down precariously on his surfboard.

'You look so pretty today,' is the first thing he says to me, and it makes my heart that little bit fluttery.

Nathan puts his arm around me and I straighten my back, my shoulders tensing. He doesn't seem to notice.

'I'm glad you texted me, babe,' he says, leaning into me. I can smell alcohol on his breath.

'Have you been drinking?' I ask, pulling back, somewhat repulsed.

He laughs at my shocked expression. 'Babe, chill. All my family is at home, it's Christmas! We had a big lunch and had some beers. Why do you look so scared?'

'I'm not scared,' I mutter.

He rolls his eyes. 'I had a big night last night so today I needed a few beers to take the edge of my hangover,' he says. 'That's what happens at Christmas.'

'Yeah, you had a big night last night alright,' I say spitefully.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'You called me like five times.'

He twists on the board and stares at me. 'Yeah, because I asked you to come to drinks because it's Christmas, and you totally bailed.'

'I never said I was coming,' I say.

'Well what were you doing instead? Hanging with Ryan?'

I think back to last night, after the volleyball game, having dinner with Ryan's family and then sitting on the sand with everyone, watching the waves crashing as the sun set and the moon rose, leaving a dancing white reflection on the black waters. I left my phone at home.

Nathan scowls. 'You were with him. You know how that makes me feel.'

I take a breath. 'I don't care how it makes you feel, Nathan.'