PULSE

Chapter Nine

[ AUGUST 22 ]

When I slid my key into the front door of the apartment, it was a quarter past eleven, and I hoped that Candace would have had the sense to give up and go to sleep. I slipped inside as quietly as possible, and sighed in relief to see all of the lights turned out. Candace's usual place on the couch was empty, and with the exception of a yellow notepad with a brown stain on it, the coffee table was bare.

I proceeded silently down the hall, away from the kitchen and living room and toward my bedroom on the far end of the apartment. It wasn't until I reached the end of the hall that I saw dull light streaming out from under my bedroom door.

Before anything else, I first asked myself whether I believe that Lev would still be outside. When we'd gotten off of the bus, we'd walked to his house, and he'd driven me home in his mom's car. Instead of retreating back to the street to see if he was still there, though, I mentally reminded myself that this was my room. I didn't have to run away. Anyone who was in there had no right to be.

I pushed the door open quickly—fast enough to scare the person inside senseless.

Melanie cursed loudly as the door slammed against the wall.

Inside my room, only my desk light was on, and my sister was sitting in the swivel chair, leaning on the back two wheels and holding her bright phone as if she could use it as a weapon. She looked different since I had last seen her, a year before. Her long, dark hair had been cut almost completely off, and now only reached her chin. Parts of the almost black hair that she and I shared had been dyed a bright navy blue and fell in unruly chunks around her face. These days, she'd traded her thick-framed black glasses for a much slimmer, more stylish pair.

But her expression stayed the same—one of near-permanent indignation and disgust with the world around her. Tonight, it was mixed with abject terror, since I'd just burst into the room, uninvited.

She planted one hand on my desk, staring at me. "What the hell, Aidan?"

"Me? What about you? What are you doing in my room?" I demanded.

"Where have you been? I've been waiting for hours! Do you not even live here anymore? The least you could do is come home for dinner, don't you think?"

I glared at her, hard. "You sound like Mom."

Melanie sighed, resigning enough to sit back properly in her chair and watch me in disappointment. "Don't be a dick, Aidan. You haven't been answering my calls or texts, so I had to contact Candace. She told me you've been out late a lot recently, but I didn't know you'd make me wait this long. She says that you're hardly around anymore. Where've you been? Getting into shit you shouldn't be?"

"Since when do you care?" I demanded, tossing the plastic bag I'd been clutching onto my dresser. "You haven't bother with me since Mom and Dad split. Why worry about me now?"

"I care because I had to hear from Candace that you're not acting like yourself lately."

"Maybe that's a good thing! And when did you start calling her Candace? Are you guys all buddy-buddy now?" I demanded. For as long as I could remember, Melanie would scarcely acknowledge Candace, and when she did, it would always be with some insulting slur.

"Oh, shut it, Aidan. Don't be such a baby," Melanie snapped, glaring at me from my desk chair. "People grow up. We all have to learn to deal with life at some point. If Candace is all you have now, it wouldn't kill you to give her a chance."

"I don't need her," I said, gritting my teeth. "And I don't need you either. I'm just fine on my own. So quite acting so goddamn high and mighty."

"What is it with you?" she demanded, raising her voice slightly. "Alcohol? Drugs? What've you gotten yourself into?"

"It's nothing!" I insist.

Melanie opened her mouth like she intended to say more, then suddenly snapped it closed again. Her eyes widened with realization, and just looked at me with a new kind of disgust.

"Is it a girl, Aidan?"

I stared defiantly at her.

She turned away for me for a moment, laughing—but it was the bitterest sound that I'd ever heard, even coming her. "Wow. I'm not gonna lie. I really thought you were smarter than that."

"What do you know?" I spat. "You're no better than me. You haven't let anyone in since Mom and Dad split. What the hell do you know?"

Melanie slumped slightly. She didn't seem especially disgusted anymore—just more disappointed. "Aidan. You know I'm not here to upset you. I spent enough time screwing with you in high school. I'm over that. I'm here to make sure that you don't screw yourself up getting too close to someone you shouldn't be."

"Don't talk about her like you know her."

"Everyone is rotten, Aidan," Melanie said, her voice falling flat. "Everyone is out for themselves. It may not seem like it now, but he's not going to be good for you."

"I said not to talk like you know her."

"You should know better than anyone," she said, standing. "You saw what happened with Mom and Dad. You saw what they did for us. No one cares about anyone else. If you had any sense at all left, you would stay away from her."

I turned away. "Is there anything else you have to say?"

Melanie sighed, slipping her phone into her pocket. "No."

I stared at the ground as she passed me, stopping in the doorway of the bedroom.

"Think about what I said. I won't bother you again for a while. But if I see things getting bad, I will step in."

I didn't respond.

Melanie left the apartment in silence.

I didn't know how she was going to get back to her dorm on campus. I didn't care.