PULSE

(twentyseven) may 27

(TWENTY SEVEN) MAY 27

When the knocking started at the front door, it was past midnight, and if it had been any other night, Lev and I would have been asleep. Tonight, though, Lev was at his desk, cramming for a test under the light of his desk lamp, and I was sprawled out on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had been telling me for the past few hours that I should go to sleep, and I'd been telling him that I wasn't tired.

The lie was not only that I didn't sleep anymore, but that Lev didn't know this as well as I did.

So, when there was a knock at the door in the middle of the night, we both happened to be fully awake, and turned immediately toward the sound. We exchanged glances before Lev rose from his desk chair and slowly left his bedroom, heading toward the front door with me directly behind him. When we reached the door, Lev leaned toward the peep hole and squinted through it for a moment before sighing and cursing under his breath.

Turning quickly around, Lev pushed me backwards about halfway down the hall toward his room again before quickly whispering, "Go to my room and stay there. Don't come out until I tell you to."

"What?" I demanded, but Lev was already shoving me back on my feet, herding me toward his room. "Lev, who is it?"

"Aidan, just shut up and stay out of sight, okay?" he insisted.

"Who is it?" I demanded again, planting my feet on the floorboards.

"Please."

Something in his tone made me back down; I still urgently wanted to know who warranted him acting like this, but he seemed to think that it was best for me to disappear, so when he turned and ran back to the front door, I slipped silently into his room and pulled the door shut behind me.

I stood in the middle of Lev's room, listening closely as he opened the door and the sound of footsteps told of someone coming in.

"Hey..." Lev said quietly, his voice laced with something that I couldn't quite place with the distance between us. He was speaking so quietly that I couldn't properly imagine what he was thinking. Not being able to see him made me realize how reliant I was on the gives in his facial expression; even after we'd known each other for almost a year, I hadn't bothered to learn his vocal ticks.

There were a few moments of silence, and I stepped toward the bedroom door, unsure myself of what I intended to do. After a moment of hesitation, I only leaned against the door, straining to hear what was going on. For what felt like an eternity, all I could hear was the sound of labored breathing.

"I'm so sorry for it," a voice finally said, so quietly that I almost missed it. "I'm so sorry, Lev. I just wish... I wish I could take it back. I want to take it back so bad, Lev."

My breath caught in the back of my throat.

She stammered a few more words—all the beginnings of phrases—but couldn't manage to finish any of them.

"I'm so sorry. He knows that, right? He knows that... I..."

"Ava, stop," Lev finally interrupted, ending her perilous train of thought. I leaned my head against the door, feeling the wave of grief that always seemed to follow her name. I'd known the moment that she walked in that it was her, but hearing Lev say her name was akin to being punched in the stomach; the sound knocked the air out of me.

"He knows," Lev said quietly.

"I wish... I wish—"

"I know," he said again.