PULSE

(twentynine) june 9

(TWENTYNINE) JUNE 9

Coughing. "What?"

I cleared my throat as I left the apartment building and began to cross the front lawn. "You said you wanted to talk. Let's talk. Let's talk right now."

"Now?"

"Yeah, now," I replied. "Meet me at the school in thirty minutes."

"Okay, Aidan. But..."

"Save it. Whatever you have to say, you can say it to my face," I interrupted.

She paused. "Right."

I hung up without saying goodbye, or waiting for her to finish whatever she wanted to say. Without the Old Lady's scooter at the shop or Lev's van, I had no way to get to the center of town but on foot, so when I reached the sidewalk, I began to run. As soon as I ended my call with Ava, I dialed my next number, raising my phone toward my ear as my feet slapped against the pavement. It was hot—the first of many sweltering days that would soon lead to another blazing summer—and I was beginning to sweat through my tee shirt almost as soon as I started to run.

"What?" Lev said through the phone. He was angry. Good; so was I.

"Still want to talk?"

"Of course I do."

"Good. Let's talk. Meet me at the school in thirty."

There was a few moments of silence before he asked, "What are you doing? You sound awful."

"Be at the school in thirty," I said quickly before hanging up.

Time began to blur around me as I slipped my phone back into my pocket. I couldn't keep track of where I was going or why with all of the thoughts spinning through my head. Over the years, I'd grown accustomed to this weightless sort of feeling—like I wasn't actually real, and I was just aimlessly floating through time. It came and went often, but almost left me with a horrible empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. Today, instead of trying to fight it off and feel the soles of my feet against the pavement, I let it overtake me, forcing my mind wherever it wanted.

I couldn't feel my fingers or my toes. My ears started ringing so loudly that I couldn't hear the rush of cars passing on the street next to me. A haze started to cloud my vision, so I stopped, dropping down to my knees on the sidewalk and staring at the ground, waiting to start feeling normal again.

I never knew what was happening anymore. I felt like I was constantly battling something I didn't understand. I looked up along the sidewalk, hoping in the back of my mind to find someone to help me to my feet and tell me why this was all happening.

No one was there. I was alone, like I had been since the divorce, since my father's death, since Candace's accident, and since I'd told Ava to disappear.

After a few seconds of rest, I pushed myself to my feet again, stumbling a bit before righting myself and continuing my run through town. For the rest of my sprint toward the school, I didn't allow myself to think or feel anything. I knew that if I stopped to consider the aching that was wracking my body, or the heat that was quickly drawing the air out of me and burning my lungs, I would surely collapse. As I neared the school, I even closed my eyes for what I was convinced was just a few insignificant seconds. Almost as soon as I did, though, I felt myself collide with another body, and when I opened my eyes again, I was sitting down hard on the sidewalk, the world spinning around me.