PULSE

(eighteen) december 14

(EIGHTEEN) DECEMBER 14

There are things you do in your life without thinking about them at all—tying your shoes, washing your face, writing your name.

When I left the shop and went sprinting out into the street in the dark, I wasn't thinking at all. I emerged outside in the dead of night, with my coat and shoes left discarded in the apartment behind me. The hospital was almost two miles from the shop, and before I had even taken three steps out the door, I'd already skidded to a stop at the curb and torn up the skin on the bottom of my feet.

I only paused for a moment on the curb before changing direction and running down the sidewalk in the direction of the hospital. Ava caught up to me faster than I thought she would, and stayed by my side as the pavement passed quickly underneath us.

She didn't say anything the entire way to the hospital, and only slowed down and fell behind me when we reached the parking lot. When a car came around the corner of the building, though, she stopped and yelled at me to stay with her; even hearing her warning, I continued on and let the squealing tires tell me that I'd only just missed being hit. After that, she caught up with me again and didn't leave my side for the rest of our run.

Inside, I ran into the counter, pressing both hands on top of it as I demanded to know where to find Candace Toh. When the woman informed me that I wouldn't be allowed to see her without wearing shoes or having a form of ID, I could have lost my mind. I slammed my fist on the countertop and would've torn into her badly if Ava hadn't grabbed me by my shoulders and dragged me away, into an empty hallway.

She spun me around to face her, still holding onto me and trying to look me in the eyes. "Aidan, listen to me. You have to calm down. Okay? We'll work it out. Take some deep breaths. I'm going to call Lev and have him bring your ID and shoes. Alright? It'll just be a little wait."

I was breathing so heavily that I could barely hear her. When she saw that I was still refusing to look at her, and may have been in a different place altogether, she reached out to hug me. Before she could pull me in, though, I slipped out of her arms, sliding down to the ground and squatting with my face in my hands.

Ava fell silent.

Over the next thirty minutes, I was vaguely aware of Ava speaking quietly on the phone, crowded in the corner across from me and facing the wall. At some point, I stood again and started pacing, passing her over and over again and never speaking a word. A numb sensation had begun to spread across my entire body, and by the time Lev finally appeared at the end of the hall, I couldn't feel my fingers.

When he arrived, though, Ava moved to greet him, then immediately let a yelp of pain and stopped dead in her tracks. For a few moments, neither one of them moved, and my mind cleared enough for me to glance at the floor where she'd been standing; one of the tiles was smeared with blood.

Lev tossed my shoes and wallet to me before running toward Ava and grabbing her by her shoulders. The sight of dark blood streaked across the ground where her feet had been paralyzed me, immediately sending me into a dizzy spell that barely allowed me to breathe.

"What happened?" Lev demanded, gripping her tightly.

She shook her head quickly, her eyes wide. "I-It's nothing. I'm okay."

I knew without a second glance that if I stayed where I was—where Ava's feet were bleeding from our run and where Lev was about to lose his mind from worry—I wouldn't be able to move for the rest of the night. So, with Candace's accident still pulsing in the front of my mind, I pressed my hand to the wall for support and jammed my feet into my shoes, heading around the corner, toward where the receptionist's desk was.