PULSE

(twentyeight) june 9

(TWENTYEIGHT) JUNE 9

"Stop looking back like that. We're not leaving," Lev said firmly, eyeing me as I glanced over my shoulder for what must have been the hundredth time. Hospitals had always made me uneasy, and they had only made me more so in the past year, since my accident. The idea of being in a building occupied by an assortment of sick, injured, or dying people had a way of making my stomach churn, and that was before I even factored Candace's existence into equation.

Lev could clearly see that I was considering turning and running the hell away from the hospital waiting room, and was staring at me with an expression that said, "Go ahead, Aidan. Try me." It had been a big deal for me ask him in the first place to come with me when I went to pick up Candace from the hospital (finally), but now that he was here, I couldn't be sure whether I was relieved or frustrated with my decision.

I wanted to run away, and he wasn't going to let me do that. He hadn't ever been the type to let me run.

Before I could mentally prepare myself, a nurse appeared at the end of the hall, pushing Candace slowly toward us in a wheelchair. Candace smiled, and my stomach dropped. I took a sudden step backward out of instinct, but Lev stopped me with a hand on my back, pressing his thumb into my spine.

"If you leave, you won't ever be able to fix it," Lev said quietly, still watching her roll slowly down the hall. I knew exactly what he was saying; I could screw up as much as I wanted, but if I walked away from her now, after months of ignoring her, I wouldn't be able to make up for it. Unlike all of my mistakes with her up until this point, this was one moment that couldn't be fixed with an apology.

She was being released from the hospital after not seeing me in months. I couldn't run from her now.

Yet I was terrified of what would happen if I stayed.

I stood, deadly silent, waiting as Candace finally came to a stop in front of me, offering me a tired smile. After a moment, she held out her arms toward me tentatively, unsure of how I would react, and taking a deep breath, I slowly leaned in to hug her. It occurred to me—like an electric shock—as I wrapped my arms around her that I had never hugged her before. Despite the fact that my father had married her more than four years ago, I hadn't once gone as far as to hug her. What started me, though, as I stooped so close to her, was just how much she felt like my mother. The warmth was the same—only my mother stopped hugging me as I got older, and Candace was here, now, offering her embrace.

I pulled away from her, mumbling, "You're too thin. You should eat more."

She sighed, smiling. "I'm sure we'll fix that as soon as we get home."

I nodded quickly, avoiding her eyes as I took over her wheelchair for the nurse and started to push her toward the front of the hospital. As we walked, she turned toward Lev, clearly trying to suppress her excitement.

"I don't think we've met before," she said.

"Not officially," he replied politely, shaking her hand. "My name is Lev. Thanks for letting me stay at your home a while ago."

My eyes flashed toward Lev as he reached out to shake Candace's hand, landing on the healing scar along his hairline. It looked alright.

He looked alright, and so did Candace.

I nodded to myself as I continued to silently push her toward Lev's mom's car.

When we reached it and I helped Candace into the passenger's seat, I sat down slowly in the back, watching as Lev started the engine. I stared out the window as we left the hospital parking lot behind, passing quietly through the streets.