Suicidal Love

Chapter 16

I sat there holding Sam. I just had a dream that he was suicidal and tried to kill himself.

Sam? I asked shaking
Yeah?
Have you ever cut?
No... Why'd you ask that?
Have you though?
No sister I haven't.
Sorry it was in my dream, I can't tell what's real or what's not real...

He stares at me and just leaves. Okay. I walk downstairs and seen Kian. Oh no. I sit on his lap.

Babe?
What?
Do you love me?
Yeah of course...
Don't lie.
I'm not okay?!

He gets up and walks into the kitchen. Okay. I grab my phone and text Mahogony.

Lox💁
Hey girl!

Lox💁
Sup! What's going on Sam just called me saying he was sorry...

Lox💁
What why?!

Lox 💁
Why should I know babes...

Lox 💁
Okay well that helps! Anyways love you!

Lox 💁
Love you too sister!

I set down my phone and look at JC. I began to speak to him.

JC?
Yes?
Don't you know what's going on?
No not really... It's been weird.
Yeah tell me about it.

I pull my phone out again and text my brother.

Sam💩
Hey... Why'd you call Mrs. Lox? Are you okay?

Sam💩
I'm sorry sister...

Sam💩
Tell me what's going on now!

I waited ten minutes no response, I call him and he answered.

What? He asked annoyed
Come home now! We need to talk...
About what?
Just get your ass here!

I slammed my phone down and just stared off into my own space. I heard a door slam and Sam walked through. I hug him and kiss him.

Where were you Sam?!
I was out...
Ugh! Anyways go change and go to bed now!

He walks upstairs and doesn't come back down.

•Sam's pov•

I walk upstairs and put on my black boxers. I wait until I hear her lighter outside. Yes she was smoking. I walk down and grab her phone. Shit she had a passcode. I ask Kian and he yelled 1992... Why is it JC, Connor, and Ricky's birth date?!

I unlock it and there is a pic of JC as her back ground. Uh oh. I look at JC and kinda laugh.

What? He asked confused
Look... He looked and his eyes widened.
She likes me? He asked shocked
I think so... Kian came in and grabbed her phone and changed the lock screen and the password.

Why did you do that? I asked Kian
She knows I fuck with her password and lock screen...

He changes it to her original password. 1995. Kian's birth date and my birth date. I seen him put a pic of me and Amanda at the fair doing weird faces. As the cover.

Is this all her originals? I asked confused
Yes it is... Why?
Because it evolves around me...
She loves you....
I know that but why so me.
She's afraid
Of what?
Death.

I turn away walking to my sister. I open the door and hug her. I love her so much, she's so afraid of death... She's afraid of me dying.

I love you Amanda....
I love you too Sam, what's all this about?
Kian showed me the password and back screen...
Ugh, embarrassing
What? No it's not!
Yes it is... It used to be JC
You love us it's okay...

She hugs me once more and walks back in. She grabs her phone and had a arm wrapped around Kian's waist, the other was on her phone.

•Amanda's pov•

I change my password again. 1998 Shawn menses birth date. I change my back ground to Kian on JCs back(the image above) I put my phone down and wrap both my arms around Kian's waist, I kiss him and nuzzle into his chest.

I love you...
I love you too.

I unlatch myself and tell Kian to go upstairs and try to go to bed. He follows the order and I say goodnight to the rest of the boys. I walk upstairs and walk in on Kian changing. Ugh.

Kian?
Yeah?
I need to talk to you...
About?
Well, I have had nothing but bad dreams and events happen when I'm with you.
What are you saying?
We should break up...
Okay, if it makes you happy.

I walk out and into my room I didn't cry, cut, take pills. I just changed and went to bed. Yes bed!