Suicidal Love

Chapter 1- The Begining

I woke up at five thirty in the morning, I turned off my alarm and just lie there in bed to hear a faint *are you awake Amanda* I rolled over and rubbed my eyes, Yeeeesssa! I replied. I then see Kian burst through the door giving me a hug and then saying "Happy Birfday" I giggled, and asked " what's you get me" he smirked and said "A surprise" I laughed at his simple answer. He then picked me up wedding style to kiss me on the head and carry me to the living room, he put me on the couch and began kissing my neck, I began to have goosebumps. He then traveled his hands down my sides and stopped at my thighs, he picked me up after he stopped and he spun me around until we felt dizzy. we were in the middle of making out when my brother Sam walked in. He said "UHH is this make out point or am in my house" Kian stopped and went with Sam to make a video for you tube. I peeked at the video and they were doing the "nasty baby food challenge" I was gonna ask why Sam was wearing his black and cheetah striped shorts, but I just walked away.

--3 hours later--
I heard Kian crawl in bed and he started taking off his pants and shirt to reveal his abs and traveling his boxers. he began taking off my shirt so he could kiss down my sides, I began to love him even more. I turned around to his surprise I was awake he said "OH... hello." he began looking at my body and scoping it be then pin-pointed my secret, he lifted my arm he started to kiss my scars on my wrist. I began to pull down my pants to show him my thighs, he began rubbing them lightly. I felt so ashamed.

The next day he walked up to Sam, Sam he said can I speak to you... I heard crying and I began crying too. I knew, I knew Kian told him. I had teary eyes when they walked in both of them instantly holding me. I felt Sam releasing away from my body he ran upstairs, after that I hear " GOD D******* WHERE ARE THE RAZORS AMANDA, I DONT WANT YOU TOO HURT YOURSELF" I began to head upstairs to see Sam looking at my box, it was a heart shaped box he opened it revealing bloody razors. He sat them down and said how about a party, will that make you not depressed. I said of course, he dialed up everybody to come over tonight.

Later that night JC and everybody else showed up. After Trever left we sat down in a circle playing truth or dare. Sam was first Kian said "Sam I dare you to twerk" so Sam did oh how much I loved my big brother. then Sam said "JC kiss Jenn" so JC did. next was JC " Amanda why do you always wear long sleeves?" I began to cry, having Kian come over and kiss me on the head. He said let's go upstairs, I nodded yes as I heard whispers. I then let Kian hold me for like twenty minutes. After that we heard Connor at the door, " hey so are you guys coming back down" I pulled Kian to the door and downstairs. ( and I forgot I was in one of Kian's shirts with no sleeves) I walked down stairs accidentally showing my scars. having JC run up and kiss my scars and so did all the o2l boys. I felt famous really famous, but for some odd reason for the next week they have been calling, texting, and visiting me. But there is one thing I can't tell Kian or Sam. Last night JC kinda kissed me, not my scars me he kissed me. Oh what am I saying I have the best boyfriend on earth. Anyways after that bad thought went through my mind I hear Kian come through the front door I run downstairs for a hug. But I just seen tears streaming down his face, I walked over what's wrong? I asked he just looked down at the floor then liked back up. He started screaming at me, " why would you let JC kiss you I'm dating you okay, I don't think JC is your boyfriend" I started to cry instantly. I heard Sam come through the door starting to tackle Kian "keep your hands off my sister" I ran up stairs to my heart box screaming in tears "where are they, Sam where are my razors. Sam!" I turn around to see Sam holding my razor. Sam please give me that razor. No Amanda your my little sister I'll do anything I tackles my best friend for you, I need you in my life. I ran into my big brothers arms and I grabbed the razor out of his hand and ran to the bathroom. one cut, two cuts, three cuts, and four. I hear Sam trying to break into the bathroom, hearing everyone of O2L trying to bust through. They were to late I was already blacked out with blood everywhere feeling the relief I caused everyone.