In this day and age, is not very common for a lady my age to still have the thing that makes her pure. Then again I am not a common girl. I think before I speak and I think before I do; except when it comes to you. See, I'm young but at the same time I'm old. Old in my ways and my beliefs. I am only 18 yet I am already thinking about kids and a family. You don't really want kids and you don't even really want to get married. If it were anybody else on this planet, I would walk the other way. But when it comes to you, I simply cannot walk away. So I fake the smile and I force the laugh and I try to forget the pain that I feel. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I remember that this is not a race. This life that I have is not a competition but if it were, you would be the prize. You are the toy inside the cereal box, the golden ticket just beyond the wrapping of my favorite candy bar. You make the Crackerjacks wish they were more than delicious. You make me wish that I was more. More beautiful, more intelligent. You are more beautiful, more intelligent than anybody else on this planet. Friend: The word that pours lemon juice into my wounds and blush onto my cheeks. You make me want to be better, laugh harder, stay longer. You make me want to go. To Texas or Florida. Wherever you may be, it's okay with me. Because I want you to be happy, even if it's not with me. But I really want it to be with me. Because I would give up everything for you, including Korea. Which says a lot, considering how much I love Korea. But it doesn't matter when it comes to you. I hate talking about my emotions, but I love you. More than I love Korea and Kit Kats. I don't know what to do. I am pretty excellent at finding a solution to any problem that I face. But you are the only exception. And the only solution that makes sense is for me to stop loving you. But I don't want to and I don't know if you want me to. Do you want me to stop loving you? Because I can't. I love you and everything about you! I love that you play the guitar and even though I haven't heard you play, I don't doubt that it too, sounds beautiful. So I will wait. I wait for that text, the spur of the moment, the development of emotion. Or I will wait for someone to think and feel about me the way I think and feel about you.
YOU ARE READING
Chutes and Ladders: Vol. 1
PoetryThis is a collection of my poetry over the past year. It's a very intimate thing for me to share; every word has a back story. I hope you enjoy
