Chutes and Ladders: Vol. 1

To Someone I Used to Trust

I find it funny how you are always one step behind me. Always liking and doing the same damn things that I do. And normally, that type of shit doesn't bother me. But recently, I've been getting a strange vibe from these coincidences. See I'm the kind of girl that likes her individuality; I can't stand copies and I detest duplicates. When I was head over heels for the guy who made every girl's heart race, it was understandable when you felt the same way too. And when my heart pounded for the guy who made everyone laugh just by being in the room, I could see how you had the same emotion for him that I did. When I had a little crush on the man who has the mind of a genius, it made sense that you saw what I saw. However, when I fell in love with him and I saw him and only him, the coincidence was more unnerving that you just so happened to "love" the same boy that I truly did. When my heart was crumbling and I could feel it falling like pebbles through my fingers, I wrote words about distance and heartbreak. Pretty soon you had your own words about distance and heartbreak. I know that he is an amazing person and friend. But I catch myself thinking, was the first poetry night sabotage. Did I entrust my thoughts and feelings in you and have you use them as an upper hand? I was starting to move on and have a small interest in someone else, striking up small conversation only to have it interrupted by your quick jabs. And let's be honest, I don't want to date him. He is an attractive guy and he's great, but my heart and my eyes are still set. Set like the cement I would trudge across to get to the man that I love. And after having my heart dragged through the mud and tears sting my eyes, you give me words synonymous with a shrug of the shoulders. I should have given you words synonymous with a jab of the fist. Instead I held my tongue, which would do you some good.