Hypersonic Missiles

Ada

I woke up trembling. Shaking in a way I could have sworn I never had before. My fingers and my eyelids twitched, felt like someone was releasing fireworks in all my nerve endings.
I knew what it was, I just hadnt expected it to be so bad.

It took me awhile to open my eyes. I was vaguely aware of the chest I leant against, the sweater which Id instinctively nuzzled into as I came back to myself from sleep. When i finally did open them however I regretted it. It never really seemed to get bright inside that caravan, the dirt on the windows smeared with the purpose of concealing the boys from the outside world. However what little sunlight was managing to seep through into the tiny space we shared, was a sickly yellow which stung my eyes more than I had a feeling it should have. Everything seemed distorted by it. Blurring with it.
I couldnt really focus my eyes at all, couldnt tell who it was that was sitting opposite me at the table, could only guess that they were tinkering with weapons of some kind.

"Eh up..." slurred a sleepy Geordie accent, too soft to be Sam's, "mornin pet, sleep well?"

I squinted back at Johnny, didnt like that I couldnt make out his expression, could only really see hjm as a prickly shadow.

I didnt even bother trying to talk. My brain felt like mush, I felt like if I had tried it would have hurt too much anyway or the words would have come out all soupy and backwards. They'd have laughed, Id have looked like a silly little girl.

"Mornin Ada," Eli sounded soft when he leant down to speak softly with me. I knew it was him that was holding me still, could recognise him in the hesitance with which he held onto me.  "How're you feelin littlen?" He asked gently. He wasnt so entertained by my silence however, in fact his voice seemed to darken before hed even finished the question, "you don't look well love..." he said sitting up, his movements a little too quick. I hadnt meant to whimper the way I did but when he jolted me accidently i felt the ripple like an aftershock in every one of my nerves. Those fireworks went off again, my heart stuttered.

I felt tears prickle in my eyes and resigned to keep them shut.

"Whats the matter pet?" Asked Johnny, the smile lost from his voice too.

Someone pressed their hand to my forehead. Someone stroked their hand through my hair and let their finger tips skim my cheek.

"Feelin poorly sweetheart?" Asked Eli softer perhaps than hed ever spoken to me before. And suddenly I felt guilty because there was nothing wrong with me and they were worrying about me. It was just my meds. Plain and simple as that. This would wear off after a few days. It was my fault for running out. For not weaning myself off them the way I was supposed to, the way my mam had planned too when the impacts had first hit and she'd realised that everything was going to change.

After she'd gone I'd been too scared to do it by myself.

"Its nothing..." I murmured without opening my eyes, "have to sleep through it I'll be reet..." I tried to argue but Eli stiffened then.

"Have to sleep through what Ada?" He asked, that stern tone creeping back in. It sent a shiver through me, sparked that familiar anxiety once again only now it wasn't just a shiver.
Now his tone shift left tears prickling in my eyes, my heart jolting and an uneasy sick feeling stirring in my stomach. I wanted to bolt from his arms and yet at the same time my fingers curled into his sweater more firmly.

"Ada..." he warned, "you remember what we spoke about dont you girl?" He said unable to hide his frustration from me because I could feel his body tense beneath mine. Could sense how he gritted his teeth and tried to hold it back.

I sacked my cheek and tried to remain still and silent. Perhaps I could convince them I was already sleeping. It was optimistic, stupid even and I paid the price when another ripple of fireworks ricochetted round my nervous system and I flinched teeth sinking into my cheek to stir another whimper from me when I tasted the blood. It stung in a way that went straight to my teeth. In a way that made me want to cry despite knowing it was a silly thing to cry about.