AN This god damn thing has a cover photo on each chapter now and they're hilarious. Thank you Silver_Veins . I have been slain.
And sorry for not updating my other fics as frequently as you'd like. I'm just using this as a getaway from them at the moment. Stupid writers block..
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Karlie burst into the room with Calvin at her side. Taylor was nowhere to be seen. The ballroom was empty apart from an envelope left on a table in the middle of the room.
"Calvin Harris?"
"I don't know. It looks pretty suspicious", said Karlie. She cautiously approached the table like Iggy Azalea walking through a ghetto neighbourhood.
Suddenly Blue Ivy burst through the ceiling and landed before them.
"That's not an envelope! It's a bomb!", she screamed.
The envelope, which now looked a lot like a bomb, exploded, and Karlie was thrown to the back wall of the room. Emerging from the thick dark smoke was Lorde, standing tall with The Eyeliner of Immortality in one hand. A crack of thunder and lightening (even though it was clear as day outside) shook the entire room like Nicki Minaj after one too many bean burritos. But much louder than that. Flames began to form around her feet, setting most of the table ablaze.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Then a smoke alarm went off.
"Aw shit", Lorde groaned. She stood down from the table and walked across the room to fetch a sweeping brush. Then she crawled back onto the table and began attempting to switch the smoke alarm off with the handle.
"Come on", she muttered, poking at the alarm with the sweeping brush.
Karlie awkwardly watched from afar and Calvin Harris decided to call his mother. After the flames disappeared - thanks to the sprinklers - and the smoke cleared, The Blonde One from the elevator burst through the window.
"You're not getting away with this, Lorde!", she yelled.
"I thought you were behind us", Karlie said, looking across into the hallway with a confused expression.
"Calvin Harris", added Calvin Harris with equal the amount of confused confusion.
Suddenly, The Insanely Adorable, Cute-faced Doe-eyed Little Shit burst through the window, still smiling.
"I hope we all come away with what we wanted in this situation!", she cried, holding up a golf club with barbed wire wrapped around it.
"We're on the fifth floor", said Karlie.
And then Lady Gaga burst through a window holding a large sword made out of meat and rhinestones.
"Believe in yourself!", she yelled.
And then Ellie Goulding burst through a window.
" ", said Ellie Goulding.
"What?", said Karlie.
" ", repeated Ellie Goulding.
"Hold on", said The Cool One from the band - who had taken the back door to get in here. She switched on a frequency stabiliser and held it close to Ellie's mouth.
"I said I'm terribly sorry about breaking the window"
"It's cool", said The Cool One.
"PENIS", said The Blonde One as she burst through another window.
