nurse

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You take your first step through my creaky front door as a beautiful façade

Refusing to let the mask slip and never letting the cracks show

I watch us you cover any flaw that peaks through, making sure not to scare you away

Because I know the fear that comes along with vulnerability

You don't trust me enough to be safe, not without anxiety looming like a sword over your head

Waiting for the other shoe to drop, for my disgust or betrayal

And I can't blame you, so I sit quietly and pretend I don't see the cracks in your smile

Or the way you flinch each time I'm upset, waiting for my anger 

Waiting for me to rub salt in the wounds you try so hard to cover up when I'm looking

Until you don't

Until you don't hide them from me anymore and I watch you slowly peel away the covers

Looking at the lacerations others left before I stepped into you

You tell me how they got there as I clean your wounds, letting the crimson liquid stain my skin as it does yours

rubbing salve over them until they become scars, trying to keep to myself that

I love your scars. And slowly I watch as you learn to love them too

As the scars fade beneath my hand, I watch you realize that you don't need me to nurse you back to health anymore


I pretend not to notice as you sign the discharge papers, leaving me behind to stare at the spaces where red seeped through your skin

And dried over mine. You slam the door closed as my hand blocks the frame, leaving me with my own wound

With no one but myself to aid my attempt to heal it. I keep the door ajar, I wait for you to come back, but you don't.

I see you across the street, we make subtle eye-contact that never lasts longer than a second,

You seem happier there. And just as my wound you left behind has healed, I hear the familiar sound of a creaky door

As she enters with wounds she wishes to hide, and I prepare my band-aids for when she is ready to let me see them

Opening the door wider, so I don't have to hear the creaking sound

The day she decides to leave

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