and you don't seem to understand
the shuffling of this deck of cards
since your first breath to be dealt a bad hand
to be in a position that is held with little to no regards
i work and work because whenever i am clocked in
i cannot feel my own problems and pain within
if i stop and rest for just a second i know i will sink
I'm aware of how much time can pass in one blink
one pause will allow my mind to overthink
and i fear that may send me to the brink
so the hours of my day work can take and take
i cannot afford the cost of slowing down
and let me be clear this is not for my own sake
to devote myself to outwork and over perform
has led me to never know what it is to take a break
my time and my energy is all i have for money to take
and maybe this leaves myself empty and with my identity ripped and torn
as much as myself gets chipped away
i refuse to have someone else write my story
and so i drag my feet and could care less for the glory
i will get up tired broke sad mad and do it again every single day
continue pushing closed doors with force to set my own fate
I'll lock all my feelings in a box only to focus along the way
for i myself will write my own story with the steps i take
i will course correct and grow from every single mistake
as life throws losses, heartbreaks, and pain i cannot slow down and mourn
and as i do the shadow work and heal my inner child
the pain that was once severe is now only my mild
when the narrow walkway brightens and shines to others doors instead of only one
just maybe then as i take that leap i will like the person i have become
ironically i do not believe life is unfair nor is she unkind
my efforts my ambition will always bring me a good meal
i have relentless fuel to drive me to what i see for myself in my mind
for my end goal to be fulfilled and for my success to be real
the determining factor is to afford another seat at my table
there will be sacrifices never short cuts or to steal
i will do things the right way as my hands are on the wheel
to maintain my values has always been set in stone
what is my success worth if not shared
it never has been been fun eating all alone
i would rather be with my loved ones who cared.
life can hand you lemons and yes you can make lemonade
but only if you accept no one is coming to help and give you aid
perhaps you were right maybe it is because i am broken
maybe i will never find a reason worth it to open
but all i have ever known amongst all this noise and loud
making more money day by day makes my family proud
so i will keep working past my feet feeling weak
i will push past the countless hours and deprived sleep
because breaking the generational cycle is what i seek
and this is not for my parents not my father nor mother
but the love and admiration i have for my dear brother
the love i have for my sibling is unconditional yes it runs deep
he has grown to have good traits he has kind eyes and a strong innocence i admire
so i push through in over commitments and promises to keep
despite having a childhood with only chaos and fire
showing my brother all possibilities of who we can be
because for him to prosper for him to succeed is the only moment i wanted to see
yes i want my brother to have the resources i never had
to provide him his needs down to every want
and to see all his smiles
that alone makes it worth all the hours, the sleepless nights, the tribulations, and trials
