I Guess I Can't Help It [Homestuck Fanfiction] DISCONTINUED

Chapter 3

I was awoken by the gods- oh no wait that's just Eridan glowing in the darkness. He kept shaking me lightly, calling out my name until I returned to the mortal world, hissing and batting him away. He quirked his eyebrow as I arched my back and stretched off the couch, forgetting I was half on and off and falling off. I laid on the floor for a bit, staring up at Eridan as he shuffled a bit awkwardly on his feet. I had come to the realization that he was still wearing only his pants a little slowly - I wasn't smart in the mornings. I sat up and stared at the wall for another good minute before actually standing up and stretching a bit more. I leaned over and flipped the light on, regretting it as soon as it happened. The brightness is horrible- whatever. Okay. I have something to do right now. I fumbled in the couch cushions for my glasses before Eridan tapped me on the shoulder and handed them to me. He was all nervous looking and still standing. I took my glasses from him, and stared at him for a bit. He was a bit shorter than me, maybe even shorter than Karkat. I wasn't ridiculously tall like Gamzee - or even Kurloz jegus - so I can't say too much.

"dude diid you even 2leep?" I questioned, slipping my 3-D glasses on. He glanced down and shrugged. "that'2 a 'no'. ed you iidiiot, you need two 2leep two."

"wwell didnt you wwant me to fuckin wwake you up?" he snapped back.

"ii wouldn've cared."

"wwell wwhatevver im not tired anywway"

"liike hell you arent. look at your2elf. you have fuckiing bag2 under your eye2 and everythiing. you are goiing to 2leep." I grabbed him by his wrist and dragged him into my room. I pushed him lightly onto the bed, which he looked at a bit foreignly. "waiit- do you guy2 not 2leep?"

"no wwe sleep idiot. just differently."

"then ju2t get on the bed, get under the blanket2 iif iit's not two hot, and then clo2e your eye2 and 2leep." I said, grabbing a jacket from my closet while talking. I forced my arms into it, screwing up a bit in the process. I fixed my error as I heard the shuffling on the bed, and turned around to see Eridan sitting up, with the blankets over his midsection. "alriight, uh- you know my number so ju2t call me iif you need 2omethiing or whatever." I said, and left the room, and the apartment, locking up behind myself. I went downstairs and to my car, driving to my source of all things fish and fishing.

I came back to my apartment with a container full of 'live-bearer fry' as we will be feeding the seahorse. All that stupid shrimp shit was too much, and Eridan informed me that his 'dad' ate live-bearer fry so it's all fucking dandy. I fumbled with my keys with one hand, nearly dropping them when my door was slammed open. I had to quickly grab the fish before they became flying fish and cursed under my breath. I looked at my door and there stood Karkat in the flesh.

"what the fuck are you doiing here kk?" I asked, shuffling into my apartment past Karkat and into the room where we had Eridan- you know what fuck it. I'm calling the seahorse seahorsded because it sounds cool. I set the container of fish on the counter and got the second tank ready. While I was doing this, Karkat was yelling why he was here. Apparently he showed up like he's supposed to every Tuesday morning, and Eridan answered the door and then I zoned out while attempting to pour fish into a tank.

"SO WHY THE FUCK IS ERIDAN HERE? AND WHY DO YOU HAVE A BRAND NEW FUCKING SEAHORSE?" He asked, his arms crossed and his eyebrow cocked.

"well you 2ee kk, iit all 2tart2 when a mommy and daddy love each other ve-"

"SOLLUX I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU FINISH WHAT YOU ARE CURRENTLY SPEWING OUT OF YOUR PATHETIC MOUTH, I WILL PERSONALLY RIP OUT YOUR VOICE-BOX AND SHOVE IT BACK DOWN YOUR THROAT."

"yeah yeah, 2eriiou2. a2k ed he'll explaiin iit better." I said distractedly, hurriedly attempting to get one of the fish off of my fucking counter and back into the container. I heard Karkat huff behind me and storm off. Sheesh, pissy much? Whatever. When I succeeded in getting all the fish into the goddamn fucking tank finally, I washed my hands off and walked into the main area, wiping my hands off on my shirt. I found Karkat shooshing Eridan who was crying. Oh god feelings can i leave please i need an adult fuck um- I went to go sit down on the other side of Eridan, but didn't really do anything. I was about to rest a hand on his shoulder, but I knew I was barely a wanted presence to the hipster fish. So instead I just twiddled my fucking fingers like a small awkward child. The feelings jam went on a bit, and I honestly contemplated melting into the couch - I could probably somehow fit my awkward limbs in there. Ha- who am I kidding- anyway I need to now think of ways to disappear and instead actually do something. I stood up attempting to be a little bit fucking quiet or something, but the world hates me so I of course step right on Loo's tail, and by god he's not fucking happy about that. A screech and a hissy fit later I am stumbling awkwardly into the kitchen area to avoid the glaring eyes of Karkat. I look at the time and decide maybe the pain in my gut is in-fact hunger.