The New Guy // Phan

6

"I was so worried Phil." He whispers and I look down, taking my arm back which was still in his hand.  

"Why?" I ask, twisting my hands around each other. "You don't need to be worried."

"Don't need to be worried? Phil are you even aware of what just happened?" Dan's voice breaks a little as he tries not to shout and begins to cry a little. His slightly raised voice pierces my ears and I flinch a little at how loud it seems.

"Da-" I try to speak but am cut off by a choke that interrupts me and Dan takes it as his opportunity to speak.

"No Phil! Don't say you're fine because you're not. I can see it. Rachel can see it. Everyone can. You're not okay and I'm not going to let you go through this alone! You mean so much to me Phil and I don't know how I could live with myself if I let you!" Dan manages with a strangled tone.

"I-I'm sorry Dan." I blubber out, breaking into tears again myself. I'm surprised there's any left to be honest.

"No, I'm sorry Phil. I shouldn't have shouted at you, you did nothing wrong." Dan apologizes quietly, looking down to his thumbs, his fringe covering his tear-filled eyes.

"Dan." I say, urging him to look at me and he does, a tear slips from his eye but he wipes it away before it even reaches his nose. His brown eyes look almost empty except for the slight sorrowful hint that appears as he looks at me. "Thank You." I say, it barely coming out a whisper but more a slight breath as I move my mouth to form the two simple but effective words. Apparently too effective because it causes Dan to break down into sobs. I could swear I hear him mutter 3 words but I don't question it as I don't want to ruin the mood. And I sure as hell don't want to hear them again if they were what I thought they were.

"I'm going to head back to lesson if that's okay with you guys?" Rachel's voice interrupts our moment. We both nod, unable to form words successfully. "You should think about coming back soon, even if it's only you Dan." She continues and my eyes snap to Dan as she says the last part. "bye." She says dully before heading out the door.

"Dan?" I get his attention and draw his eyes from the door and to me.

"I won't leave you alone. Don't worry. Although she is right. I can't miss all my lessons. It's still my first day right?" He smiles weakly at me and I nod. "Good. Shall we get you sorted then?" He asks.

"Yeah." I smile up at him, sitting up ready to stand and go to class. "What session is it?" I ask him so I can find out what lesson I should head to.

"Last. I have German." Dan says and I nod. 

"I think I do too. Look in my bag please?" I ask and he finds my timetable out and looks at it. "Conveniently you are. Let's go." He says and I stand up weakly, stumbling a little after today's happenings.

"Here." Dan says, coming over to me with both our bags and putting his arm around my waist for support.

"Thanks Dan but I'm fine, really. Give me my bag, I can carry it." I say.

"No. I'm either carrying your bag or supporting you. You can't say neither." He insists so I let him carry my bag. 

"Thank you then I guess." I nod at him with a smile and we head off to German.

"It's no problem, honestly I can't have you struggling. Come on now." He says and I smile down to the floor with heat rushing to my cheeks. Until I remember why I'm here. 

Why am I doing this to him? 

Because you're a complete idiot who doesn't deserve to be alive.

Oh yeah... I forgot about that.

"Phil? Are you okay?" Dan's voice interrupts me.

"Yeah I'm fine. Why?" I lie.

"Because one second you're smiling like a loon and then the next thing I know your face drops and you're almost in tears again. What's wrong? Tell me what's on your mind!" He begs and I sigh.

"It is honestly nothing. You are just being so nice and sweet and then I remember who I am and I am a useless, horrible piece of crap who so does not deserve you!" I say, not telling him the real reason my mood dropped but still not lying about what's on my mind.

"Listen to me Phil." Dan stops walking, taking my shoulders in his hands and looking into my eyes. "You are not useless or horrible. You deserve the world and I am going to give you as much of it as I can! I am being nice to you because I know you would be to me if I was in your position. You mean so much Phil. Even if not everyone loves you, so what? You may not have everyone but you have me! You have your family and so many others it's almost unreal! Please don't do anything to yourself again because I love you so much!" Dan says but quickly covers his mouth with his hands as he realizes what he's just said. I stare at him in disbelief, unable to form words. "I-I-I'm so sorry Phil, it just slipped out! I-I-" Dan stops and runs off. I stay frozen for a minute, having to process what has just happened. 

I need to find Dan.

A/N: Hola beautifuls!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter because it's the earliest I've updated in a while! XD 

I'm just gonna go have the earliest night I've had in ages or just listen to more Hollywood Undead, IDK!

I'll probably see you tomorrow! 

Bye guys!