The New Guy // Phan

7

I need to find Dan

"Dan!" I shout, jogging down the halls after him. "Dan.. Please come back!" I stop as he speeds ahead and I lose him. I rest my hands on my knees as I gain my breath back and sit against a wall. 

He did it. He left you. That's how much he loves you. Ha. Liar.

He wasn't lying. He's embarrassed.

Ha, sure.

"Lester." A real voice interrupts the one in my head and my eyes shoot up towards him.

"Reece," I reply.

"Where are we in the plan? Is he nearly ready to be dropped?" He asks me.

"Oh. He's more than ready!" I smirk, standing up as Reece nods proudly.

"Right so shall we say tomorrow lunch get him by his locker. We'll be there about half past." He says doing a weird handshake which I've never understood before walking off and I nod before going to find Dan to apologize. 

"Dan," I speak as I enter the toilets and hear a quick intake of breath behind the only closed door so I walk over and knock on it. "Dan is that you?" I ask sincerely, beginning to tear up myself thinking about tomorrow.

"Go away." I hear Dan's faint voice.

"No Dan I won't go away. We need to speak about this." I insist and there's a pause. I can tell he's debating what to say; whether to open the door or not; whether to just scream at me; whether to even speak at all.

"What's there to speak about?" Dan asks. I can tell he knows what I mean but he's putting it off. 

"Dan." I say "Let me in please. Or at least open the door!" I beg. It's silent except for a sniff from the previously sobbing Dan. I hear faint footsteps behind the door and the lock is shakily fiddled with before Dan half emerges behind the door. He keeps his head down as I take in the half of his body he has allowed me to see. I step forward and engulf him in a hug. He sighs in what I assume is relief before his arms slowly wrap around me and he sobs into my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Phil. You've had a bad enough day without me saying that. I've barely known you a day. Just ignore it yeah? In fact.. Ignore me. I'll leave and tomorrow we can pretend this never happened and-"

"Dan." I stop his rambling,

"Yeah.." he says awkwardly, looking down at his feet.

"I don't want that. I don't ever want you to leave. Please, stay?" I take his hand in mine and I swallow down the guilt building inside of me, threatening to make me throw up. He smiles up at me weakly and I am suddenly pulled forward and my entire body ignites as Dan engulfs me in a hug.

"Thank you, Phil." He says. I give him a quick squeeze before releasing him.

"It was my pleasure Dan." I smile at him, looking deep into his eyes.

"Phil.." He says, I nod lightly, not breaking eye contact. "Sorry." What could he be sorry for? He hasn't done anything wrong? Before I have time to question him, he takes a step forward and places his lips on mine and his hands on my waist. I freeze before I realize what is happening.

Dan is kissing you. Kissing you!!!

I immediately kiss back and lace my hands around his neck. Something takes over my body as sparks fly everywhere and nothing else matters but I can't figure out what it is.

Lust?

Liking?

Passion?

The unfamiliar feeling of being cared about wanting more?

Love

No.. It can't be..

It must be.

Dan pulls back and I suddenly realize what just happened and immediately remove my hands from his neck to scratch mine awkwardly. I feel his stare on me as I look at the floor.

"Phil.." I hear the familiar voice of Dan say. "Please say something." He begs. I look into his deep eyes, full of worry as he bites his lip apprehensively.

"I'm sorry Dan." I apologize to him. 

"What for?"  He continues to chew his lip and furrows his eyebrows as his eyes search my face in confusion. I pause for a while before answering. For making and letting you feel like this. For the fact it's only going to get worse. For being a coward.

"This. I never wanted to make you cry." I say. Dan drops his lip from his teeth and looks down to the floor, shifting his feet and looking at his hands.

"Oh." He mumbles. I see him glance up at me, making eye contact but immediately look back down