For You [Completed]

Chapter 2: For Those Feeling Lonely

"A person needs at intervals to separate himself from family and companions and go to new places. He must go without familiars in order to be open to influences, to change."

- Katherine Butler Hathaway

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"Excuse me. That's my seat," a child exclaims before shoving himself into the seat next to me.

Sitting by the aisle, I try to contain the deep aching in my heart. I may feel reluctant to leave New York, but this is my only chance to prove to my parents that I could be responsible and independent. I have mixed feelings in my mind and in my heart. It's like a tug-of-war in my body. My heart stays in New York, throbbing with the growing need to be with my family again, but my mind feels more optimistic that I have the ability to survive a few months with my aunt and cousin.

I sigh deeply and rest back into my airplane seat. Hopefully, this plane departs soon because I desperately want to run out of here and back into the arms of my protected world. A lady next to me keeps trying to hold back tears and I could basically hear the sniffling she's making every few seconds. She's trying to keep her children from realizing that she was a thin line away from bawling her eyes out in a crowded plane. The airplane stewardess discovers the lady while demonstrating safety equipments and hands over a box of Kleenex tissues to the lady.

By that time, my eyes are welling up with tears because people who cry around me make me feel emotional, but I'm secretly wiping them away with my sleeve. I'm so tempted to reach across the aisle to snatch the Kleenex away from her, but I manage to keep myself from breaking down again. Sometimes, the plane is far from silent, but my mind is like an isolated prison. I'm alone with my own thoughts swirling around in an endless attack on my defenseless tearducts. What would I do when I have no dinner and I won't be able to travel to buy groceries? Where I'm going to be living is so suburban that it'll take me a good half an hour of walking in the sweltering heat to get food... What if I get my period while working and my mom isn't there to get me some? My pants will end up bloody red and I won't be able to do anything about it.

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Finally, my eyes are dry and my heart has a band-aid over the pieces I left in New York. I think to myself that I am going to remain strong for as long as it takes. I'll make new friends when I start working the first day. My aunt claims that everyone there except the boss, the manager, and herself are around my age. They're all friendly and easy to work with. I keep thinking positive thoughts and it slowly becomes a reality.

I am going to enter Orlando a new person. I'm going to be self-confident. This is like a new start to my life because no one knows who I am or how my personality is like. I could be a happy-go-lucky person who loves to joke around and keep everyone smiling. I don't have to be as shy as I normally am when I meet new people. I'll make a great impression when the boss interviews me and I'll become a super efficient worker that will be the one who knows what is needed without being told what is needed.

No one should have to feel as down and upset as I have been that three hour plane ride. I am going to make it my mission to become the best worker I can be at Wrap House and all the workers there will realize how saddening it will be when I am no longer in their lives once it's time for me to leave. I want to have an impact on them. I've always been the one that teachers forget the name of in a regular sized classroom, that friends have to introduce to others again and again before they remember my face and name, that people think it's their first time meeting even though we've passed by each other all the time.

After all, summer is a chance for us to explore the outside world, to grow and mature with or without the ones closest to us, and to become an even better person once it's over. This is what I aim to achieve and what I will achieve.

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"Hello, aunt Annie! I've arrived at the Orlando Airport now. I'm waiting for my luggage. Are you guys almost here yet?"

"Uhm... the thing is, Elena, I'm on the way. I won't be there for another ten minutes or so. Just stay inside and don't linger outside waiting for me, okay? It's dangerous out there."

"Okay, I'll be waiting for you at Terminal A. I have my phone with me so just call me whenever you're almost here."

After fifteen minutes, I'm sitting in the back of her car. She drives me to her house, which took around half an hour. The whole time, we make small talk about school and work. Once I arrive at her house, I settle down and she calls me for dinner since I haven't eaten much since the flight. My cousin Jason helps me bring my luggage into the house and goes back into his room to play video games.

"Elena, there are some leftovers from dinner a little while ago and I've gotten your food prepared. Come and eat it while it's still warm," Aunt Annie says.

After I take my seat at their kitchen table, I take a big bite of their food and feelings begin to overwhelm me. The food I just took a bite of reminds me of my mother's homemade food. I already feel my resolve weakening. My eyes begin to moist themselves and soon my nose gets the tingly feeling that I usually feel right before I start crying. I gather myself together and manage to stuff down the food in a couple minutes.

That night, when I take a shower, I spend a long time drenching myself under the shower-head. As tears slowly form once again, I create new resolves. I will make myself stronger, building a fort around my emotions and heart. It'll take twice as much work before anyone can break down those barriers. I don't want to be let down if my expectations are not achieved. I'd rather have low standards and become surprised at the outcome. I won't remain as that girl who cries easily. I will become the headstrong girl with a big heart for everything and everyone. I'll take care of my coworkers even if they're capable of doing it themselves. My aunt tells me that each worker at Wrap House burns himself and drops something when it's busy at least once. I brace myself for that day and remind myself that it might happen, but doesn't mean that it will happen because I will be trying to prevent that from happening from Day One.

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For those feeling lonely, I'm there for you. If I care for you (which I do, because you're now reading this and I love you for reaching this point), I'd protect you because no one was there to protect me from my sad moments. When I had no one, I went through it alone and came out with many new friends and a whole bunch of new experiences. When I had no one, I generated happiness from deep within my despair and radiated it out for those around me to share. I gave out laughter and jokes to replace the emptiness in my heart. If I knew you were lonely or sad, I'd be the one with the weird one liners that will make you think I'm insane, but it's worth it. Without those dear to me, I learned to remain as happy as when I did have my family and friends next to me. I accomplished more than I ever thought I could and you can too. If you're lonely, gaze up at the night sky and think about all the stars up there, being your companion for the night. The darkness may feel overwhelming, but don't let it scare you into hiding. You'll meet the people who will become the sun through the rain, the light through the darkness, the hope through the despair. So what are you waiting for?

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