Behold Till Eternity

ch: 35

Date: 14th February

- PHANSI KOTHI -
Central Jail, India.

White.

White is a colour of peace; maybe that's the reason why, after death, they wrap the body in white to give the deceased peace. But why can't people give peace to the same person wrapped in white when they were alive? What's the point of giving the dead body peace while it didn't receive peace when the body was breathing and alive?

I looked down at my plain cotton white uniform with no Prisoner No. 704 tag.

Ravishing tragic of my life.

So is this what it feels like to be waiting for your death? I always heard death is uncertain; you never know when it will come and knock in front of you. But it's ironic indeed that somehow I know my death date.

I let out a small laugh.

Should I say I am quite privileged that I at least know the exact date and time of my own death?

6:00 am, 15th February.

I have no regrets, I will die on 15th February but my only regret is that, I can't wish her or gift her anything on the same day.

Happy Birthday, my Ella. Even though I will no longer be there to wish and tell you this, I will make sure you receive each birthday wish from my side.

I put down the pen from my left hand on the floor of my isolation confinement cell, even though my hand was shaking with mild pain and my back was hurting, and then I started folding all the hundred letters I wrote wishing happy birthday to her. 100 letters, 100 birthday wishes, 100 years... I know this might be the silliest and most ridiculous thing a person could say, but I wish you stay healthy for more than 100 years, my Ella.

I wasn't there on all your past birthdays, and I will not be there on any of your future birthdays, but I will make it up to you by any means possible.

A letter to 1-year-old Ella to a letter to 100-year-old Ella... from her Rutvik.