Fracture

chapter 12

The Awakening Part 1

I remember the night she came back home. The night was cold and wet. The air of the October seemed thick and deafening. My mother had died almost three weeks ago. My father at the funeral seemed almost in a hazed. He looked at my sister and me as if there was nothing in the world for him. He seemed dead inside. As I sat next to him at the funeral with my sister, I watched him move. He would hug people slowly and softly. Sometimes he would pull them close to talk a moment but mostly. He kept them away from him. He never kissed any one on the cheek, as he would do at the church. He would only hold there hand. Then one person went for a kiss on his check. He recoiled at the person as if he was the plague.
"Fuck You Uncle", said her father.
That was the first time I saw my father curse at a family member let alone in the church. The church stopped for a moment as the man laughed for a moment then snuck out of the church with a cloak over his head. I can still hear his laugh in the distance as he walked away. His laugh was like nails on glass it was deafening. That all I can really remember of that day was the laugh that horrible laugh. The night I swear, I saw my mother again was a night I will replay in my mind for the rest of my life. A rainstorm had pushed my sister and me inside early for the day. When it stopped, the hot air had made a thick mist that filled the neighborhood. It looked as if we were in a horror movie. There was no one on the streets. I looked at the window and saw the lights of the light post did not come on that day. The shine from the light post made me think about old movies like singing in the rain. There was a time when my mother and I would dance in the rain. I was very young when that happened. She did things will me a lot and I never really understand why she did not do it with my sister. She would always say that I'm special but she would never tell me why. I remember the night the night I saw her again. I sat on the top of the steps to the door. The wind from the outside was pushing onto window hard. The leaves from the trees were flying everywhere. It scared me a little for so long in my life I had her to protect me from the things that go bump in the night and now I had nothing. I could close my eyes and see her. She used to sit by the mirror and put on her makeup it used to make me so happy to watch her. She was what I wanted to be. I remember her necklace she wore since I could remember it was a ruby cross. The shine from the rubies would blind me as I saw her through the window as I played. I always grabbed for as she held as a child. The jewel blinded me but I didn't care I wanted it so bad. One day as I watched her put on her makeup I asked for it. She smiled widely with her long dark black hair swimming through the air. Her bangs covering her face a little. She smiled and said that when I get older I can have it. She told me it was a gift from her to me. My mother was buried with her cross. I remember crying and grabbing for it. My father took it from me. He told me that my mother needed it more then I did. I cried for so long for my mother. The mother that had abandoned me, the mother I hardly really knew. I would wonder know who she was. Who was this person that I adored for so long? What really did she do with herself? I wanted to have her again to ask her all the questions that I thought I had time to ask her. I wanted to know why she was gone. Why did she have to die in a car crash? Why did she have to die? The night I saw her was first in memories I wish I could forget. This night would haunt me for the rest of my night. The time was around three o' clock in the morning and my sister and I have been staying awake to wait for my father to come home. He told us that work was going to take him extra long today. We wanted to wait for him to make sure he was ok. After our mother had died, we became very protective of him to the point that we would stick to him all the time. I remember day also because it was exactly three weeks after the death of my mother. I also remember the instructions that my father left my sister and me before he left. He told us both do not let anybody in the house no matter what you see outside don't let them in the house. I remember it later as words that made me worry, but at the time, it sounded like something that he would say to any kids left alone at night. I remember the rapping at the door so loud that it scared me. Then I heard the voice that seemed to be so familiar to me, but I knew it was a lie. The voice that I had heard for so long to wake me up from bed to go to school was not asking me to come in. I knew that voice did not exist anymore. My mother was died and I would never hear this voice again. I knew in my heart that my mind was laying tricks on me. I knew that I could have not been dreaming because the voice was different not the same voice it had change it was dark and horrible like that laugh. It hurt my soul and I wanted it to stop. It hurt so bad to feel that voice again. I wanted it to stop. I yelled to the voice to stop again and again. I thought it was neighborhood kids and screamed their names to stop. However, each time the voice got louder and louder. I started to cry and scream to the person to stop. I screamed for the person to stop hurting me. But it wouldn't stop. I kept hearing the voice calling me to come near them. She kept on asking to come in. slowly I walked down the stairs to the door. Inch by inch the voice called to me to open the door. I knew that I was not supposed to open the door but the voice kept calling me. I knew that the voice was not my mother but I wanted to know. I wanted her so much. I wanted her to hold me again. I wanted to feel her breath on mine. I wanted to feel her embrace again. I just wanted my life to be exactly how it was before. I wanted my mother again. I wanted to be loved by her again. I wanted to ask her the questions I never got to ask. I wanted to have the necklace she promised me. I wanted my heart to be whole again. Finally, I was at the end of the stairs. I could see the figure through the window. I rapping of the leaves and mist on the window shadowed the person from me. All I could see was a shadow of the figure through the window. I slowly moved toward the door.
The person called out to me and said to me "Open the door for your mother I want to see my Sammie again", said the shadow.
I stopped for a second and looked at my hand. I knew that it had to be a lie. My mother was died but there she was waiting for me. Had she came back just for me I thought to myself. Was I just a special as she had always said I was? I moved my hand toward the door handle. My hand shock as I grasped the door handle. I was so scared. I had been waiting for this day in my heart. I had been wishing for this day to come. I wanted to be ready for this, but I wasn't. All the emotions that I had been keeping back poured back into my hands and they shock as if I was on a ride at six flags. I wanted my mother so bad. I wanted to be with her so bad. Se had come back just for me. She was calling for me. I didn't have to remember her now I could have her all to myself again. I was saved from missing her. I clutched the door handle and began to turn the handle.
The figure slammed on the door a little and said, "Hurry child your mother needs to come in".
Then I felt the door slam close and I hear the scream of my mother and a giant thud from the outside. I looked at out the window. All I saw was red marks all around it. I was too young to understand that it was blood. I didn't understand. Who would stop my mother from coming? Who was the evil person that would stop a mother from seeing her child? She had come from the dead to see me. She deserved to see me who could stop her from seeing me. The rain had started up and the wind blew on the windows and washed the red stain from it. I could hear the door handle shake a little, as I stood ready. Was their still hope that she was still coming. Was she hurt I knew she needed me. My mother needed my help for the first time in my life. I was ready to help her. I gripped my hands and made myself ready for her. I closed my eyes for a second when I opened them a figure was standing in the doorway of my home. Tears ran down my face. The only word I could say was mommy but it was not her. The person in front of me was not my mother it was my father. He was dripping wet and looked very tired. He was also crying. I had never seen him so sad in his life. It was as if he had lost mom all over again. I wanted to ask him had he seen her. Was so ok could I come and help find her, but I was so scared all the confusion had made me so scared. I was a little girl I didn't know what to do or say. I wanted my father to tell me what to do. I stood there with tears coming from my face. I wanted my father to tell me that my mother was just coming to the door. I could hear in the background my sister wailing for my mother. My sister was never a person who could hold back her feelings. My sister who was younger then me never had the time with my mother that I had. She was still a child holding on to our mother any chance she got. She would never know my mother as I did. Her lost I would think later in life was deeper then mine. All the memories I had with our mother were nowhere near hers. Se was always too little for everything. My sister was the biggest victim I would remember later.
"Honey didn't I tell you not to open the door", said her father.
"Where mommy", said Novella.
"Honey mommy died honey and she not coming back", said their father.
"No she is coming back I heard her daddy I heard her she coming back I heard her. She anted me to help her", said Samantha.
"No honey you didn't hear her voice that was nothing but the wind honey", said their father.
"No daddy I heard it I heard her voice me and her both heard it. It not the wind it her and she needs us. I want to help her daddy", said Samantha.
"No honey you can't help her anymore you can't do anything for her. This is all both of your imagination.
"No daddy", I said to my father tears rained down my shirt and my face as I spoke I couldn't control myself any longer I wanted to release it all.
"No honey she not coming back", said her father.
My father grabbed me tight and held me close to him. It was the first time he held me that way. My sister came down stairs and got in the middle of us. It was the first family hug that we ever had. The warmth from the hug filled that hole I had in my heart for a short while but it never really held true. I wanted my mother and nothing was going to change that. The morning after that I walked down stairs to go to school and as I walked out the noticed that, the sun was shining brightly at me. It blinded me and I stopped for a second. Then as I looked away, I saw it. I saw the cross in the grass. I picked it up. There were dirt in it but I cleaned it as I walked to school. My friend Nivea joked that maybe her mother spirit was trying to tell her that the necklace was right here all along. I knew that there was more to the story, but for now, I was happy to have the necklace back. My mother kept her promise to me she gave me the necklace.
Two year later, I have grown to the ripe age of 14 years old my sister two years younger then me is 12 years old. She is amazedly mean little girl but I have gotten use to her bad altitude. Things have changed in my household. After my grandmother died, my grandfather moved in with us. For the first time in two years, we are starting to feel like a family again. My sister and now sit at the table and eat food and talk to my grandfather about we do all day. He is a fun man. He teaches us how to fish and hunt. Soon he says he will teach me to use a shotgun. My father is a little worried but he knows I can handle it. My life is different I met a new friend Jun and everything seems to be going good in our lives again. I think everything going to be ok. Nothing bad could happen right.