Fracture

chapter 26

What Dreams? Do you wish?

The snow fell down around her as she rode her bike through the November night. The snow just fell on her as she rode slowly through twist and turns of Chicago. She slowly made her way to 95th street to get to the highway. She then stopped for a moment and looked at the station up a head. The snow was not heavy but the snow seemed to cover the station well with only one foot of snow on the ground. She smiled for a moment and thought to herself how Nivea would tell her never ride her back when the snow would fall. She used to say she worried she find her on the side of the road died.
She said out load "Now who is worry about me out friend am I so lonely that you need to come back from the dead because I can't run my life. Am I so useless of a person that I need you even in death"?
She turned the corner and got on the highway driving on to the ramp toward the downtown. She thought for a moment and said he at the stop right before Addison as I remember. She smiled again as she speed up to get in the last lane of the highway. Why have I not come to see him in so long he came back almost the same time as I did but I didn't really look him up? I guess we both changed when we came back, but I wish I could have the strength to talk to him about the past about what he had done when he was away. I wish I had the strength to tell him about I feel back then but I guess today I will see if I can repair what I have lost. She changed lanes after she saw the 35th street exit and went to the end where the ramps were at and waited to get off to Lake Shore Drive. She passed a car that she remember from when she was a kid. It took her back to when Nivea, Jun, and her were kids. She remembers how Jun got his first car. It was an old 80's mustang but he loved it so much. He always asked for all of us to ride in it. Then one day he grabbed her from class and took her for a ride. It was a long ride. They drove until there were only farms all around them and then he stopped on the dirt road and just got out. He walked for a moment then just lay back on his hood and just stared out into the sky.
"Jun", said Samantha.
"What Samantha what is it", said Jun.
"Why did you drive me all the way out here on a school day what wrong is there something you wanna say to me", said Samantha.
"No Samantha there nothing I want to say to you", said Jun.
He then turns to her and kissed her on the mouth and just kissed her for a minute. He then returned to his spot smiled looked at her then the ground then finally the sky like it didn't even happen. Samantha then put her hand to her face and just looked at him with amazement.
"Why did you do that Jun", said Samantha.
"I don't know why I just did that all I know is that I did it, now it your chance to write the rest of the story. Samantha what will happen next in the story", said Jun,
"What are you trying to piss me off Jun you just don't do stuff like that unless you mean it", said Samantha.
"Well I just did I only want to know what will happen next then after that I will tell you what I think how about that", said Jun.
"See this is what I'm talking about Jun you're so not serious you act like a child no matter what Nivea says you're not a gentlemen I will tell you that", said Samantha.
"So are you saying this because you just kissed your best friend boyfriend or because you think I'm a jerk all the same", said Jun.
"You're a jerk no matter what I think", said Samantha.
"Oh so your saying you didn't like it then huh", said Jun.
Looking embarrassed Samantha put her head down a little.
"It not like that it just how you could do this to Nivea", said Samantha.
"Now what did I do because from what I see you're the one blushing here I'm just sitting here looking at the sky wondering how this story will end. Will Samantha kiss me back or will she demand to be taken home right away. I want to know what will happen next personally I can't wait until the next move is made can you", said Jun.
"So what if I kiss you back what will happen next", said Samantha.
"Well I don't know Samantha", said Jun.
He then moved close to her and put his hands next to her face as if to kiss.
"Well you do know that there is no one here and anything could happen with two teenagers alone just sitting around in a car with a big back seat and condoms in the guy pocket", said Jun.
"You have condoms in your pocket", said Samantha.
"Oh wow you wanna use them there right here if you wanna see them before I put them on. I can pull them out right now", said Jun.
"That not what I asked I don't want to see them", said Samantha.
"Oh so you wanna do it raw that ok me and Nivea do it that way sometimes it a real thrill if you know what I mean", said Jun.
"I don't want to have sex I was just asking a question and we both know you just did all this to get me to say something stupid your really cruel Jun. why do think I'm so sensitive huh", said Samantha.
"I always thought it was because you decided to shut out the world and you used your girlish charms to hide your fear for the world. You know if Nivea was in your position she would never hesitate. She would be in the back already using the said condoms that you don't want to even look at", said Jun.
"You know just because she has this brave face does not mean that she is stronger than me one day you will look to me for strength", said Samantha.
"Oh and when that day comes I will look at you as I have never had before and I will do anything you say. I will even march to hell if that what my fearless leader wants me to do", said Jun.
"Well you wanted my answer right Jun well I want to go home and we will not speak of this again I will act like this never happen", said Samantha.
"Well if that is what you want to do then fine I will just get in the car and drive you home if that is what you want", said Jun.
"Yes Jun that is what I want to do", said Samantha.
She jumped in the car and then sat back in the seat Jun walked over to the driver side and slowly got in the car after her. She then leaned over and kissed him again this time with tongue. He turned to her looking obviously embarrassed by what just had happen.
"What Jun what will you do know will you drive me home or will you get in the back with me", said Samantha.
"Well I think I will", said Jun.
She then put her finger on his mouth and out her finger to hers and said, "Just kidding".
"Why did you do that Samantha", said Jun,
"What it just a game Jun you can do one thing or the other I just want to see what you will do don't you wanna play my game I so enjoyed yours", said Samantha.
Jun looking very angry started up the car started to drive away toward home.
"Are you mad because I played you or about the kiss Jun", said Samantha.
"No I'm not mad Samantha I just surprised you know I was hoping for a surprise today and you gave me one and I'm happy about it", said Jun.
"So what would you done if I wanted more than a kiss then", said Samantha.
"Well I don't know maybe I would maybe I would not but the point is something would have happen and that all I wanted to know is what would happen if we were alone with options. Now I know what would happen", said Jun.
"Jun you are one crazy guy to do all this just to see what would happen not even knowing yourself what to do", said Samantha.
"It the nature of the beast one time you have to take chances in order to gain what you need one day you will do the same like I did today and you will see what you find", said Jun.
"I guess I can't wait", said Samantha.
She wondered if he felt that way all the way back then. She wondered about what had happen with him and his fiancé. She even wondered if she could even walk up Jun and tell him how she felt she knew that today was the day but was she ready she thought.
She smiled again and said out loud "Why is it that I always have to go and be this person for the first time in my life I have him as I always wanted him but I don't know what to do with him".
She then wondered out loud Oh what a fool I am to think that this of all things would be easy that the thing I truly want would be easy. There is nothing in this world is easy everything is hard. Love is hard, but am I really for it.
She got off and took the exit onto Lake Shore Drive. The turn made hair fly in her face. She took her hand off the throttle and pulled her hand across her face. She then moved her hand across her mouth. She stopped for a second and held it there as she drove past Soldier's Field. The lights from the field blinded her for a moment. She moved her hand back on the throttle again and drove a little faster as she did she watched as the scenic lake mirrored the bike a little. She moved her hand to her mouth and touched her it a little as she moved. She thought for a second about the kiss she and Jun had. She thought for a moment again and blushed for a moment. Did Jun really care about me for all that time and could not tell about it? The snow stopped and she looked back at the lake as she drove around the long curve by the lakefront before she finally pasted the downtown area and moved toward the North side of Chicago toward Jun house. The lake looked like it was diamonds in the distance the ice had covered the lake only the top and had overlapped onto itself. The lights of downtown make the ice sparkle as lights shined on them. She could not believe that she had never really thought about the lake like that before. She drove a little more and noticed that she was getting closed to Lincoln Park Zoo. She wondered about the times she went with Nivea and Jun to the zoo. She then turned off the highway the exit right after Lincoln Park Zoo and then took a left after the light. She then drove about fifteen minute through the streets. The streets were still a little congested even through it was a little was about almost two o clock in the morning all the clubs on the North side usually close around two one o'clock in the morning. She then drove a little bit more and finally stopped at a house on the end of the block. She moved the bike to the alley and locked it next to a pipe connected to the apartment next to the house. She walked over to the front of the house and looked up to the third floor of the house. There was a large window in front of the house. In front of the window there was a balcony. She then saw a light come on the third floor. Sam hid behind a car so she thought Jun finance could not see her. She then from the corner of her eye looked up and saw that the person that came out of the house was not her, but it was Jun who came out of the house who was on the phone.
"Honey why can't you come home from the job I need to talk to you about stuff", Jun.
Sam then moved a little and a dog started to bark Jun looked in her direction and she ducked down a little more. Jun looked a little more then continued to talk on the phone.
"Well baby it ok, we just got to talk a little about us ok. Well you come home when you can ok", said Jun.
He got off the phone and walked into the house. Sam got up and walked up to the house again. She then walked into the lobby of the house and looked around a little. She then thought about why was she there. She then walked toward the door. She then heard the door lock open. She then turned around and saw the door had opened up and Jun was in the doorway.
He smiled a little and said, "Well what are you doing here and I knew it was you that was behind the car. You know you can't hide from me you know not even when we were kids and we use to play in the woods".
"Well it not like I was hiding from you it just that I have something that I want to say to you. So I decided to come here as soon as I can to talk to you", said Sam.
"So what is it Samantha it not like you to just jump on the bike and talk to people after you tell them to go to hell? You know there a way how to talk to people and that not really something that I would call a good thing so what is it what do you wanna talk about then", said Jun.
"Well that the thing Jun it just that I just want to say something to you", said Sam.
"Well what is it not like it early in the day we don't have all day. So just say it will you", said Jun.
"Well it just that I want to say", said Sam.