Little Wonders ((Shansel))

Chapter 7 》If He's Desperate

Six Months Later. . .
Shailene. . .

"WOO HOO" I knock on Nat's hotel room door, even though there is a doorbell. Nat, Cara and I are in Chicago for the Electrified Music Festival.

The door opens revealing Nat in a black shirt and jeans, I'm wearing a white top and denim shorts. Cara comes out of her room looking stunning in a black skirt and black tank top.

"HERE WE GO!" She shouts.

I drive to Pizza Hut where we grab dinner then we leave for the festival. Theres a large stage set up and the artists are still preparing. I see Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Demi Lovato,The Vamps, Fall Out Boy, Rachel Platten hanging out by the stage but there are bars seperating us from the stage.

Some less popular artists are singing and warming up the people. I look beside me Nat and Cara are holding hands so I decide to go look arpund myself. There's a teddy bear stall and I'm making my way towards it. Suddenly something hits my shoulder.

"Hey." I say then I look up.

Ansel?

"Shai?" Ansel asks.

I hug him and he wraps his muscular arms arpund me.

"Hey! What's up?" I pull away.

"A lots up, though I would much rather talk about it in private." He says.

"We need to catch up."

"Yeah." He says. "Which hotel are you staying in?"

"Waterfront." I say.

"Hey, I'm staying there too."

"We can meet up in the hotel. What room?"

"1502"

"I'm 3121"

"Everyone, TAYLOR SWIFT" The speakers blare.

"Yas!" Ansel fistpumps.

We get close enough to the stage and the audience begins to cheer.

"Hello. Thank you very much." She says. "Tonight I'll be singing Mine."

The crowd cheers.

"You were in college working part time waiting tables, left a small town never looked back."

"TAAAAAAYLOOOOOOR" Ansel yells.

"I say can you believe it?"

"Yes, yes I can see it now."

"WHOOOOOOOOOO!"

"And there's a drawer of my things at your place. Now its your turn!"

"Do you remember all the city lights by the water..." The crowd sings.

"Brace myself for the goodbye cause that's all I ever known."

"She is the best thing thats ever been mine. You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter, you are the best thing thats ever been mine." We clap and cheer. "Thank you everyone. Ya'll made my evening wonderful." She says and walks off the stage.

The other artists perform. There are probably at least 400 artists tonight, each singing one song. Ansel and I sit down at a park bench where the festival is held while the last few artists are finishing up.

I text Cara and Nat.

Me: You guys can take the car tonight. I'm going to ride with Ansel.                                                11:30p.m.

Me and Ansel get into the car. "So," I say. "What has been up?"

Ansel sighs as we pull unto the road. "Without Vi, something feels missing. I feel half complete. I miss her voice her affection. I miss her. So I met this girl her name is Vivian, she has brown hair, brown eyes. She's a dancer, and very similar to Violetta. So we went out for around two months when she broke up with me, because she said I was always so distant. She even said I ignored her when she talked. It's because I'm not over Vi yet and Vivian is just so much like her."

I sigh. I've heard about this before. My parents are phycologists.

Sometimes, when a person is too lonely they become distant and use something to replace their loss. Like some decide to totally try and forget about their loss by alchohol and drugs, but others like Ansel try to forget and replace their lost by using another girl. He doesn't really love her, she's just another drug to replace Vi, so he doesn't feel like he lost her.

I pull out of my thoughts.

"Okay." I say to Ansel. "You don't really love Vivian, you love Vi. You use her to try to forget losing Vi. You're pretending she is Violetta. You're using her."

He nods and we stay in silence. I try to think of a possible advice I can give him, but there is none. He can try to find real love, but without him letting go of Violetta that is impossible.

"You have to let go of Violetta." I say. Is that even possible?  I question myself.

"So, like find love for another girl?"

"Not exactly." I say. "That is a possible solution, but risky. Like Vivian, you thought you loved her but you were actually just using her, to feel like you haven't lost Violetta. Its risky. You never know you might make the same mistake, and its almost like cheating if you date someone while having feelings for someone else. Its confusing. Vivian probably thought you were cheating on her which is why she left you."

He sighs "Yeah, I guess. I just can't feel complete anymore."

"I'm sorry, Ansel." I say. "I don't know what to say, what to tell you. I know you're confused."

He sighs. "We're here." We both get out and go to Ansel's hotel room.

We sit at the balcony which has an amazing view of the river. We sat in silence. I look at Ansel, he's looking straight ahead. His eyes are broken, so broken, tired but longing for someone, Vi. Then, he looks at me and says, "I love you."

"What?"

"I love you." He repeats. He leans in, I'm guessing to kiss me. I lean back.

"We talked about this." I say

"I know." He says. "But I think I love you."

"No." I say. "Ansel, you don't love me." I push him back. "You're so desperate for someone to replace Violetta, so you don't feel the pain. You love Vi, not me."

"But-" He says. "It hurts-"

"I know!" I say. "But if you say you love me when you don't it will only hurt more. You're using me for the love you can't have. I will hurt myself. I will hurt you."

He looks away.

"But I promise," I say. "We'll find a way to kill the pain, permenantly without hurting anyone."

He bites his lip then looks at me and nods. "Yeah, sure." He says.

We exit the balcony into the room. "Goodnight." I say then I leave.

Please let Ansel be okay again. I open my room door let it slam then flop on my bed to retire for the night.