Ansel. . .
I feel someone shaking me. What's going on? I groan and I can feel my eyelids yank itself open. I'm in a car. Road trip I thought. The sun is starting to come up as the thoughts from yesterday filled my head. I slept the whole night!
"Sorry." Shai apologizes. "Can you drive? I don't think I can keep awake anymore."
"You let me sleep the whole night." I scolded.
"Yeah..." She fiddled with her shirt. "Was I not supposed to?"
"I was supposed to drive half of the night and sleep only half of the night. What about you?"
"You slept really soundly... I was afraid to wake you up, and I'm alright anyway, I can just take a two hour nap."
I sigh. "Just... I want to make sure you're okay."
She nods and pulls over, I get out and so does she. I sit in the driver's seat while she gets in the back and lays on the seat.
I drive to a around town watching the sun rise.
Long before, at the time of Divergent and The Fault in Our Stars, I fell in love with Shailene. Violetta and I had a forced break up because I was too deeply in love with her. She got me, she caught me. I realized then, I couldn't have her, we were just friends no matter what we did. Hold hands, talk, stare and she had an interest in Nahko. I was so guilty for breaking up with Vi that I only got back with her months after. I shouldn't be mad at her for breaking up with me this time. She likes Daniel. Suddenly, a pang of guilt surges through me: I shouldn't be mad at her, make her worry about me. I went through the moments in my head. When we cooked, all the different herbs she used, and the time when we played the game of who knows me better and I cheated a little. Am I still maybe in love with Shailene? Is this real, real, real, love? I would stare at her at every interview, I can't help it she is adorable. The time I stopped an interview to hug her, I missed her so much then. Everytime I'm not with her I miss being able to talk to her. She's so kind, inspirational and talented.
Shailene. . .
My eyes flutter open. Slowly, I sit up at the back. The car isn't moving. We're in front of the public showers.
"Ansel." I say.
He doesn't respond. Ansel doesn't space out very often, but now he's staring straight ahead. I crawl back to the passenger seat.
"Ansel Elgort." I say.
He blinks. "Oh hey you've woken up." He turns to me.
"Yeah. I'm going to shower since we are in front of the public showers."
"Yeah that was sorta my intention."
We both get out towels and duffel bags then Ansel locks the car.
I go into the women's room and pick a stall, take a shower. I come out, wrap a towel around myself and brush my teeth.
Breathe in
Breathe out
I put on a pink shirt and denim shorts and then do some stretches.
I come out singing my special goodmorning song. Ansel isn't out yet so I give myself some me time. This is the closest I've ever been with Ansel since Insurgent wrapped. He'd been pretty distant with me until the halfway of filming Allegiant. He spent a lot of time with Violetta then, between Insurgent and halfway through Allegiant because they had just reconciled after breaking up just before we wrapped The Fault in Our Stars.
Ansel appears from the men's room, it was only then I realize I spent my me time thinking about him. His ear to ear grin displayed on his face, his hair still wet. Today he's in a white shirt and brown shorts.
"I'm hungry." He says carelessly.
"Lets go get some breakfast." I offer.
We get into the car, me in the driver's seat Ansel in the passengers, I drive to this breakfast shop. The outside is quite nice. A limestone doorframe and we walk in through the sliding glass door. There are no lights on inside, but a ray of sunlight is pouring through the glass door. Ikea stuffed toys, everywhere. Ikea tables, ikea chairs. It is like a playground. Ansel and I sit down opposite each other. We notice a glass bowl with sticker things inside. It was not until I pull one out I realize they are temporary tatoos. A waitress comes forward to give us a menu. She was a year or so younger than us. Even though the cafe is dim, she knew.
"Are you-" She asks but I cut her off with a nod.
"Are you serious? Shai? Ansel?" A smile slips on to her face. "Can I have your autograph?" She asks excited.
I nod and she gives me the pen. I take a a hanker chief and sign my name. 'Shai W' I wrote. Ansel is fiddling with three tatoos and I pass the hankie to him. He writes his name in some fancy cursive and smiles at the waitress and gives the hankie and the pen back to her.
The waitress is already looking super excited a change of mood from before we came in.
"I can't believe its real! My OTP is real!"
"OTP? Whats that?" I ask.
"One True Pairing!"
Ansel laughs a little nervously. "Actually..."
"I've been a shansel shipper since like, Divergent!"
"Shansel?" I laugh. "Like mine and Ansel's name combined? Shipper? Whats a shipper?"
The waitress can't seem to supress her big smile.
"Shansel." Ansel says. "Its like our ship name. Shipping is a trend where you put people together, like matchmaking. John is obssed with shipping, he called Nat, you and I Shanansel."
"Yes!" The waitress giggles. "I can't believe you know your own ship name."
Ansel frowns a little but smiles as he says "Me and Shai... we're actually just friends for now."
Then the waitress looks at the tatoos. "You can have them."
"Really?" Ansel says smiling widely. "I love them, they're really cool."
"Me too!" The waitress beams. She gives us the menu. "I'm Lydia, by the way. And you guys are really cute together."
I order some sausages and mash patatoes and Ansel orders sandwiches.
