I Wanna Be Free, I Wanna Be Loved

Ch. 13: You're My Best Friend

BRENDON'S POV

Rachel really did not seem to be comprehending what I was trying to teach her about finding the area of a trinagle using algebra.

"Rachel, is there something on your mind?" I asked.

"No" she snapped "And even if there was why would I talk to you about it?"

"Well I thought we were--"

"WE ARE NOTHING" she yelled, slamming her pencil down on the counter and getting up. She ran up the stairs and I heard a door slam; I was just trying to be someone that she could trust but I guess she didn't want to accept me. I would never tell her this but I'd had a crush on her for awhile know, even when she had a boyfriend. Ryan knew but I guess he kept it a secret. He was the one to suggested to his mom that she even hire me as a tutor, maybe he thought it would help me become less awkward around her. I wanted to ask her to the winter formal dance but she would never go with me. I was packing up all my school stuff when Ryan came downstairs and went to the fridge to grab a soda; he seemed flustered.

"Ry?"

He huffed and started to leave but I pulled him back "Ry, talk to me"

"It's nothing" he lied.

"Ry..."

"Follow me"

He took us into the backyard near the pool that his mom had built with the money she got from the divorce. He sat down on a bench and breathed deeply as if he was searching for the words to say what was on his mind. He was one of my best friends in the world and it worried me when he was completely silent like this.

"Brendon...have you ever been so attracted to someone that even you don't understand it? Have you ever had it so bad for someone that will never feel the same way about you? Like, never in a million years?"

"Uh yeah duh, Ry. Your sister"

"You still like her?"

"Like her would be an understatement"

"Date her, DATE HER PLEASE!" he exclaimed "Hell, you can have sex with her if you want"

"But she--"

"Brendon Boyd Urie you listen to me right now. Inside the body of every awkward, pale teenage boy is a sex god waiting to be unleashed. On the outside you're Brendon the nerdy Mormon who is good at math but on the inside you're a jungle cat. A fierce tiger with sharp teeth and looks that can kill; you have the power to have your way with any girl...even my sister"

"Shouldn't you be trying to keep me away from her? Pull the whole 'I'm the older brother' card on me?"

"If you were anyone else, yes. But you're my best friend so I know I can trust you...plus she would totally wear the pants in your relationship, no offense"

"Well thanks I guess, but who's the girl you've got your eye on?"

"Who says I'm after someone?"

I smirked at him "Ryan, there has to be a girl, and a very pretty one at that. You're one of the most popular guys in the school, girls don't usually affect you like this"

"Yeah, because those girls don't live in my house"

Suddenly it all made sense to me; he was more protective over Hannah than Rachel, trying to keep Hannahaway from other boys. The way he looked at her during school showed that he really cared about her and now I understood why he had been so quiet earlier.

"Oh gosh" I said.

"Yeah"

"What are you going to do about it?"

"There's nothing I can do" he said "Nothing at all"

"Ryan...tiger analogy" I told him.

"I know, I know"

"Don't worry, Ry. You'll figure this out"

"Thanks" he said "Hey, wanna swim?"

"I don't have my suit"

"Borrow one of mine"

"Oh duh" I said "Think you can get Rachel to join us?"

"You perv, you just want to see my sister in a bathing suit" he joked. So what if it was true?

He led me back into the house and up to his room where he threw a pair of light blue swim trunks at me and I changed while he went over to Rachel's room to talk to her, hopefully it went well.