I Wanna Be Free, I Wanna Be Loved

Ch. 15: Everyone Has A Heart

Gen took me to the DMV and I got certified to drive in California, all I had to do was exchange my Idaho driver's licence. When we got home, Ryan said Rachel wanted to talk to me and I still wanted to make peace with her, so I went to her room.

"Hannah!" she said excitedly.

"STAY BACK DEMON SPAWN!" I said when she came toward me.

"I'm not going to hurt you again, I want to be friends"

"Friends?"

"Well actually I was wondering if you wanted to be roommates too. I cleaned half the room so that we can get your bed up here and everything"

"Uh..."

"It's be fun! My brother likes you and Brendon likes you, so I should like you too"

"You should? Rachel I don't want to be your friend just because you feel like you have to be"

"Fine, I want to be. There aren't a lot of people in this world who consider me to be a good person so I want to start my reinvention by making good with you. So what do you say?"

"Okay" I replied.

"Yay!" she hugged me "Hey, we never took you out for your welcome dinner. We should go tonight!"

"I..."

"No exceptions! Be sure to wear something cute!" she told me.

"Why?"

She smirked at me and I really had no idea what she was talking about. I sat down on her bed and she wrapped an arm around my shoulder to hold me close.

"Hannah, when a boy meets a girl as pretty as you, he can't help but become flustered by her entire existence. She drives him crazy and makes his brain all fuzzy. He just can't think about anything or anyone besides this girl"

"Rachel, I don't see what this has to do with nything. I've only met a few boys since I moved here and the only one who seems insterested is your--ohhhhh"

I thought about it for a minute; the way he looked a tme, the constant smiles, always having his arm wrapped around some portion of my body, and the kiss at the hospital: Ryan Ross had feelings for me.

"Oh" I repeated as I blushed.

"Hanna, do you feel the same way about my brother?" Rachel asked.

"I...maybe. I don't know, it's really weird"

"I understand" she said "Listen, let's not worry about it anymore. Let's just go out for a nice dinner as a family"

"Okay, I'll go change"

"I'll tell mom" she smiled.

We both left her room and I went to shower and pick a cute outfit like she told me to. I stelled on a short blue dress and slid my feet into a pair of flipflops. Everyone was in the kitchen, including Ryan who stared at my outfit and when I caught his eye, he blushed. The fact that I knew he liked me gave me a mix of happiness with a twinge of awkwardness. I shook it off and we all got in the car.

"So Hannah" Gen said "Your pick for dinner, what's your favorite thing? Steak? Burgers?"

"I'm a vegetarian" I told her.

"Oh you'll definitely fit in at school" Ryan said.

"Okay, so not meat" Gen said.

"I like fish though" I said.

"There's a nice little beach-side restaurant that has great sushi" Rachel said "Perfect for romantic after dinner walks"

I knew what she was hinting at; she wanted Ryan to take me for a walk on the beach after dinner where he would confess his love for me and we would be all happy and everything would be a Disney movie. Well sadly this was real life and even though I had a small case of the butterflies for him, nothing was going to happen between us. We got to the restaurant and ended up getting a table on the patio overlooking the beach and the ocean. Living in Idaho I had never seen either of these so this was the most beautiful night of my life. The food was amazing too, California sushi did not disappoint. After eating, we all went back home where Ryan seemed kind of flustered, perhaps by Rachel's comment on the ride to dinner. I decided to let him have space and went off to my room while Rachel went to her room and Ryan went into the backyard. I saw him lay down next to the pool and just stare up at the stars. I wanted to go out and join him, maybe we could have a talk about us but maybe he was as confused about this as I was. I went to my room and crawled into bed, when the time was right for us, we would both know it.