a/n deticated to southernblondie for being the first to vote comment and add it to her reading list: thanks so much:)
Sunday, January 20th, 2013 10:09 pm
It’s been a long hard day. I don’t know if I even have the energy to write but I think I must.
This morning as we were getting into the van all ready to leave for church mom started having a pain. She’s 13 weeks along so it’s in the back of all of our minds that any day we could go from anxiously expecting a baby to painfully missing it and comforting mom as she tries to recover. Well, when mom was climbing into the van I was sitting there in the second row and by the look on her face I instantly knew that she wasn’t okay. Dad rushed out of the drivers seat and over to her side and helped her out. He carried her back into the house and by that point we were all crying. It just hurts so much, officially she hasn’t miscarried, she’s just been having pains and a little spotting but usually bleeding and miscarriage follow. We’ve been praying and praying and after I made mom raspberry tea and she was settled in bed I went ahead and took Katie and Drew to church… Drew didn’t want to drive because he was filling out his men’s study sheet… last minute as always :P Mom hadn’t even told the church as a whole that she was expecting. Several of the mom’s and older daughters knew and as soon as they saw we teary three walk in they assumed the reason. Drew stood up at announcement time and did a good job in spite of his emotions. He just said that mom was expecting and was at 13 weeks and this morning was having some pains so she’s on bed rest and “if you’d all keep her and the baby in your prayers we’d really appreciate it.” After service pastor Donald took us aside and prayed with us and then during youth hour Adam led us “kids” all in prayer for mom and the baby, too. At any rate. My day has been stressful and tearful but I’m trying to remember that God is in control and will do best. This sibling is His and if He chooses to take it now I will praise him. I will. But oh how I hope and pray that this time He will let us keep it, I so long for another sibling and I know mom must feel the pain in a much more intimate way. I try to be strong though, especially for Katie, it’s so much harder on her for some reason. She knows just as I do that someday we will be with all of our siblings but, I don’t know, its just harder, maybe it’s because she’s never had a younger sibling to actually hold while you love on it. Dad has stayed with mom all day and offered to stay home from work tomorrow but I’m pretty sure she won’t have that. As hard as it is on mom she always insists that life around her must go on. She knows better than to even try getting up.
So there you have it. I’m so tired after church, youth meeting, making Sunday dinner, helping set up Katie’s school work for tomorrow, getting dad’s lunch packed… You know the routine. I’m going to bed now and hope that by the next time I write mom will be having no signs of a miscarriage. There, positive thinking is so good for a person. I’m going to end on that before I start weighing the options and realize how likely the other one is and let it carry me away into depression. Goodness I’m such an idiot…. There go my thoughts :-/ gahhhh!!!! Goodnight! ~Thea
When Drew wakes in the morning he instantly wonders how his mother and the baby are. Quietly he gets out of bed and slips down the hall to his parent’s room. He sees his mom peacefully sleeping and takes it as a good sign. Everything is still okay. “Thank you God.” He whispers before slowly and quietly walking to the kitchen. His dad has already left for work and pretty soon the girls will be up. Drew decides to help them start their day by making them pancakes.
When Theadora wakes up to the smell of pancakes cooking on the griddle she smiles thankful for her mom getting up and making them breakfast before she jolts upright realizing her mother in on strict bed rest. She jumps out of bed and rushes to the kitchen slipping on the hard wood floor as she rounds a corner. “MOM!” she yells “What on earth are you doing?” before she realizes its most definitely not her mom standing on the other side of the counter flipping pancakes.
“Just because I got up early to make you pancakes does not give you the right mean to call me a woman, sheesh Thea, thanks a lot.” Her brother jokes as he calmly flips the last of the eight on the griddle. “And by the way, don’t act so amazed, I’m awesome, remember, and, keep the voice down, wouldn’t wanna wake mom up yet.”
Thea rolls her eyes and settles in on a stool. “I nearly had a heart attack, I mean, really, imagine waking up and being like ‘hmm, moms making pancakes’ then switching to ‘agh! Moms making pancakes, so not okay, so not okay’ and killing yourself to get to the kitchen to stop her-eh, you.”
“Hey, I thought we went over this, enough with knocking off my man points! I’m never going to get up and make you breakfast if this is the thanks I get.” He jokingly mumbles as he starts to remove the pancakes. Thea gets up and grabs milk from the refrigerator before giving her brother a side hug “Thanks bro. they look great… almost as good as a wo-“ he cuts her off before she can finish by ruffling her hair “You’re welcome shorty.” Pouring herself some milk she nods and walks back down the hall way to check on her mom. Peeking her head in the door she sees her mom sitting up in bed. “Hey mom, how are you this morning?” Her mom smiles tiredly at her before answering “I’m doing good honey, don’t look so downcast, everything will be fine. No matter what happens we know whom we have believed in.”
“I know mom, I know, I’m doing okay. You, too?”
“Yes, I’m doing okay, it isn’t easy but, God’s got it in His hands and I can rest comfortable trusting in him. How’s Katie dealing with it?”
“She’s doing better this time. It’s hard but I think she’s a little more at peace with God’s control.”
“That’s good. Is she up yet?”
“I don’t think so, want me to get her up?”
“No, no, let her get some extra rest. Now go enjoy the pancakes your brother made you.” Her mother chuckles having heard their morning banter.
“K, let us know if you need anything.”
“Okay, bring me a cup of raspberry tea whenever its set.”
“Alrighty.”
Theadora goes to the kitchen and starts the tea kettle, making her mother a mug of raspberry tea. When Katie wakes up the three children lay out a plan for their day and Drew heads off to work while Theadora and Katie start their school work.
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this is a bit shorter than I planned... sorry about that :-/
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Goodbye Letters
Novela JuvenilGoodbye Letters is about two girls, one, writing her 'goodbye letters' to the world as she contemplates suicide and another as she searches for meaning and direction in her life. that is a lousy attempt at a description but give it a shot, pleeeease...
