Rejects // Luke Hemmings [au]

13

QUESTION FOR COMMENTS: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

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Song for chapter: Bruised and Scarred by Mayday Parade

December 18th, 1956

7:05pm

Luke's POV

I'm in the games room, staring at the wall of board games with nothing but the thoughts of this morning going through my head. I skipped my meds today, and I don't plan on taking them. I only took them once and look what happened. It was so strange, I felt so sure about how I feel, and I felt like everything was so clear. I was emotional and open about myself, and I exposed my deepest secrets. Violet knows everything now, and that's a terrible thing. Those meds made me feel clear, but not like I think they are supposed to. I'm not clouded very much naturally, and these pills feel like they're designed to clear a lightning storm of a brain.

I don't know what I'm more shocked about; I told her the reason why I'm here, she told me the reason she's here, or the fact that she kissed me. Don't get me wrong, I like Violet a lot, but it just flooded back memories I would like to forget. I'm scared that I'll hurt her. I'll get scared of the commitment, and god knows I might end up killing her.

She reminds me so much of Aleisha, in almost every way possible. Although they don't have the same hair colour, their face structure is pretty similar. Her height and weight match almost exactly, and her smile just makes it all the more painful to remember. I loved Aleisha. I loved her with all my heart, and I killed her. How could I have brought myself to do that? How could I have brought an end to a light as bright as hers?

I think back to my conversation with Violet, just remembering the way she looked, the way she acted. Although she's been to hell and back again, she is just as energetic as I remember Aleisha being. The two of them both make me feel a way that words can't describe. It's like walking on water, and not even worrying about falling through.

Violet's story really was something else. I would've never thought that she could've done something. It's obvious she's changed since then. At first, I was scared to accept the truth of her conviction. She's actually a criminal, she actually did something to end up in here, unlike i had originally hoped.

Damn, my thoughts are choppy today. Maybe it's because I've stopped with the pills, but I can't be too sure. It could just as easily be that I'm not used to this type of dramatic affair.

I can't help but feel like I deserve to be the one who is dead. Aleisha didn't deserve anything like what she got, she didn't deserve for me to turn against her. I'm a monster, and I'm to blame for her death. This is why Violet needs to stay away, she needs to run from me. I don't know what kind of person I turned into that night, but it very well could happen again.

But I don't want to lose Violet. She's one of my only friends, and she's so important to me. I care about her too damn much. Why do I have to be so torn?

Okay, I need to talk to Ms. Woods about the meds she put me on. The withdrawals are making me think back and forth too fucking much.

"Luke?" I hear a whisper from behind me. I turn on my heel to find Michael, wide eyed and as creepy as always...

"Hi" I mumble, bowing my head and taking a seat at a nearby table. He follows me like a lost puppy, like I thought her would.

"Are you doing okay?" He asks, surprisingly. He's never the one to initiate conversation, this I learned from Violet. I raise my eyebrows at him.

"I'm fine, you?" I try to switch the subject of the conversation over to him, but he won't take it.

"You were sobbing a few seconds ago, while looking off into thin air, I don't think you're fine." He retaliates, sitting up in his seat and scooting closer to me. The bright red colour of his hair almost burns my eyes. I was sobbing? I didn't even notice.

"I'm just thinking about some things, don't worry about me, Michael" I tell him, trying my best to sound sincere and not rude. Sometimes I have trouble distinguishing the difference between those two.

"Is this about Violet?" He quietly asks, not making eye contact with me.

"What? Why would I be upset about Violet?" I spit, building up a defence around my emotions. I don't plan on letting Michael know my personal shit, that's only for Violet, and Violet alone. Not even Ms. Woods knows my side of the story.

"I thought maybe you were jealous or something" He sighs, raising his eyebrows as if he's guessing at how I feel.

"Jealous about what? About who?" I begin to calm down, realizing that Michael may potentially just be fucking around with me. He tends to that accidentally.

"Ashton, of course. He came into lunch while you were in therapy and took her out. I haven't seen her since then"

Ashton? That little prick from the morning walks? He's never smiled at me, or really acknowledged me unless Violet forces him to. Still, theres this familiar thing about him, like I know him from somewhere. I just can't put my finger on it.

"Thats... Thats good" I stutter, trying to find the words, "He's good for her." I tell him. Truly, I believe that he can treat her better than I ever could. He's not crazy, he has a job, a clean record, and he likes her. I'm the opposite of him, in all honesty. I'm crazy, unemployed, a convicted murderer, and I don't like her. I don't like her. I don't like her. Even thinking those words makes me angry. It makes me angry because I know I'm lying to myself.

"Good for her?" Michael begins to raise his voice. I can see ager and anxiety in his eyes, "Do you know who that fuck is? What he fucking does?" He stands from the table, yelling full force now, "You can't let him take her, or she'll end up just like the last one! Don't let the bullet through, don't drink the poison!" He continues as two guards rush him and inject him with drugs to make him pass out. What was he talking about? He made absolutely no sense.

I watch as he begins to pass out, the light draining from his eyes. I think about his past, and his future. I bet the past Michael never would have anticipated this would happen to him. I also bet that the future Michael won't regret any of what happened to him in West Hill. Just before he reaches sleep, he uses the last of his might to grab a board game piece and jab the guard behind him in the eye.

Taken aback by Michaels action, the guard tasers him and drags him out of the room, leaving me with his words replaying through my ears and a room of shocked crazy people.