Rejects // Luke Hemmings [au]

12

I LIKE THIS CHAPTER AHAHA IT GETS KINDA CUTE IDK
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December 18th, 1956

11:36 am

Violets POV

This morning I haven't seen Luke anywhere, which has me worrying. I asked Calum, and he said he's fine, just figuring out some things, which scared me even more. Last night at dinner he just walked away from Michael and I, then Calum got another guard to hand cuff him and take him out some doors. Neither Michael or I knew what was happening and why it was happening, but Luke didn't seem okay. I couldn't sleep last night. Seeing him restrained in his bed, and obviously drugged, made me sick to my stomach. I tried to talk to him, but he was out cold, so I just forced myself to rest. This morning he was in his bed, in the exact same spot as the night before, the only thing moving was his chest rising and falling in his peaceful sleep.

I stand in the bathroom, waiting in line for one of the showers to be free. Once one finally is, I walk into the stall with my towel and strip down. I hear silence fall over the entire bathroom, and I know I'm here alone. There are only three shower stalls, so it's not exactly a big place to hang out anyways.

I begin to wash my body, using the shampoo from the containers hanging on the walls. I continue with my hair and face.

"V-Violet?" I hear someone stutter from outside the stall. I immediately register the sound as Luke's voice.

"Luke what are you doing in here?!" I half yell, not wanting any passing guards to hear from outside the bathroom. I stop the water and grab my towel, wrapping it around myself and stepping out of the stall.

"I need to tell you about it. I can see clearly right now, and I don't know how long it will last" he stutters, sitting on the floor with his head in his hands, "I need to talk to someone"

"What's going on?" I ask, sitting down next to him. I touch the back of his hair and lightly stroke it, hopefully calming him down. I can see a few tears rolling down his cheek.

"I flipped last night, Vi" he begins, licking his lips. "Sitting with you guys, I started thinking about how I got in here, about what I did to deserve this life"

"Luke, you have to tell me what you did for me to understand" I calmly advise, hoping he won't yell at me.

"I... I'm sorry" he sobs, rubbing over his eyes. "I'm a monster" he pauses, "A year ago, I met the most amazing girl in the world. Her name was Aleisha, and she was perfect to me. I fell for her, fast and hard, and she loved me too. I was fucked up, though. I was into drinking and drugs, of course she didn't mind, she was into it too. Then one night the two of us were out at a bar and I got into a fight with a guy. I provoked him, so Aleisha was just as angry at me as he was. I remember hating her so much for not being on my side. The guy and I got into a full on brawl. I don't remember the fight at all, because I was drunk out of my mind. All I do remember is I woke up in my bed of my apartment, with Aleisha on the floor next to it, covered in blood with a gun shot through her head. I must have done it while I was angry, I don't know why I would've, but I must've. I nearly killed myself over it, tons of times, but I could never bring myself to. I killed the only good part of me, and it was for a reason that didn't even matter the next day. Violet, it fucked me up so badly its left permanent scars. I needed to tell you, I felt like I was lying the entire time. I needed you to know who you're really dealing with."

I stay silent for a moment. There are obvious holes in his story, and some of it makes no sense. How could he have killed her if he blacked out? He says he woke up with her dead, if he had passed out then there's no way. And who is this other character? The pieces of the puzzle aren't fitting. There are pieces missing. That's for sure. I watch as tears roll down his cheeks while he stares at me.

I've never seen him like this. He's coming clean, completely giving himself to me. He's letting me into his head, and it's beautiful. He's so vulnerable, crying next to me and waiting for my response.

I don't even take a second to think about what I'm doing, when I blurt, "I don't mind"

"You don't mind?" He asks, almost chuckling.

"Luke, your past doesn't have anything to do with your future. Don't stay in the past and hang around with your demons, when you can look towards the future and be with your angels"

"Wow," he sighs, smiling while his eyes are still glossy from the crying, "you're amazing, Violet"

"My turn." I sigh, getting ready to confess mine. He's told me his, and I feel bad for not letting him know me.

"You don't have to-"

I cut him off, "yes, I really do."

I rub my eyes with both hands, preparing myself for the story that makes me want to be dead, or just disappear.

"I had just turned 11, and things at home were pretty shitty" I sigh, "My parents constantly fought, to the point where they'd go days on end without speaking to each other. I resented both of them, because of what they put my sister and I through. I can still remember this day, even though I can't clearly remember any other days of my life outside of this place"

His eyes are full of sympathy, and I continue, knowing that it's best I just tell him and get it all over with, "I was sitting in my room, with all these thoughts running through my head, and I could hardly see in a blind panic. I didn't know at the time, but I guess I was having a breakdown that was triggered from another one of my parents fights. It wasn't even their worst argument, but I was just pushed too far over the edge. For some reason, something changed inside of me, and I felt like I didn't want my parents to be alive anymore, and cause us all the pain they did, but I knew, if they were gone, my sister would be ruined. I knew I would be ruined as well, but I thought thats what I deserved."

Wiping the tears built in my eyes, I continue "I killed them, Luke. I killed my whole family in a fire. They're gone, all because of the things that go through my brain. The worst part is my sister, she wasn't supposed to die that night. I got her out of bed and told her to go outside and wait for me, but she didn't listen. Indigo didn't listen, and now she's gone. I was so fucked up that I ran into my kitchen and raided my dads liquor cabinet. I took a few bottles and smashed them in the living room, and on the stair case. Then I picked up my dads cigarette lighter and that was that. I was so happy, I thought my sister and I would finally have a chance at being normal. I thought that the two of us would make it out, together. I never considered that I'd be convicted at age 11," I begin sobbing, but continue, "I'm a fucking murderer and I don't have anyone anymore" I sit down onto the floor, pulling my legs close to my chest. This is the first time in 5 years I've said this story out loud. Sometimes I wonder if I really did it, but I know I did. No one else could've, and I am fucking insane.

"You've got me, Vi" Luke says, putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me close to him as I let out soft sobs, "You've got me, and Mikey, and that's all you need"

"But if they do let me out, like they say they will, I won't have either of you, and I'm scared that I might do something to myself. Fuck, I should just kill myself and get it over with"

"I'll find a way for us to be together. I'm not going to let you be alone, I promise" He softly places his hand on my face with rough hands, and I look into his eyes. A few seconds pass and I press my lips against his. I've never kissed anyone before, but for some reason, this feels right to me. Maybe it's the adrenaline, maybe its the sight of his vulnerability, but either way, I have strong feelings towards Luke. He makes me feel different, unlike I've ever felt before in my life. This is the moment I realize that home doesn't have to be walls and a roof, sometimes it can be a pair of blue eyes and a heartbeat.