Rejects // Luke Hemmings [au]

6

Song for chapter: Happy Song by Bring Me The Horizon

December 14th, 1956
5:39pm

I don't know why Luke is acting this way. He's screaming at the guards right now, thankfully his cell is still closed. I asked him why he was here yesterday, and he didn't act like it meant anything. It's like something clicked inside of him, making him explode.

I watch as Luke spits at Calum, screaming louder than before. He doesn't know what he's getting himself into, he doesn't know what they'll do to him. I've been to hell and back again, and I can't let him get ruined, no matter how scared I am of him.

I need to help him. The first thing I can think of is rushing through me, taking over my judgement.

"Hey fuck you! I'll fucking kill all of you!" I scream, running for my bars and screaming at the top of my lungs. I continue screaming as loud as I can, running around my cell frantically. I run up to my wall and begin hitting my face against the surface, screaming and scratching at my skin. I turn back to the hall, seeing that all of the guards are now focused solely on me, and Luke has stopped. I see him standing silently, just staring at me with a confused look on his face.

It takes everything in me not to stop, because I know what's going to happen to me, now. I have to keep it in my head, this is for Luke's sake. I don't know him very well, but I can tell he has a lot of potential, and I can tell he's more than meets the eye.

When Calum opens my cell, I know my breakdown has gone too far. I stop immediately, running to my bed and curling up in the corner, crying.

"No, please Calum, I'm sorry" I cry, shoving his hands away as he comes towards me. I can see the sorrow in his face, knowing exactly what my intentions were here. He knows I gave myself up to protect him.

Calum looks down and sees the cuts on my hands, the blood dripping from them. I must've scratched my hands against the walls, or against my own fingernails.

"Straight jacket. Shock first, but definitely straight jacket." Calum sighs to the rest of the guards. My heart breaks at his words and I completely break down, crying frantically. I let Calum pick me up, and carry me down the hall. When we reach the door that reads "Shock Therapy" I wish I had just stayed quiet. I wish I had killed myself a long time ago.

-Luke's POV-

Watching Violet screaming leaves me extremely confused. I was the angry one, she asked me the same question again, the question I didn't want to answer. As she runs around her cell, breaking down and cutting at her own skin, I stare. I know there's nothing I can do, and I don't know her that well. Maybe she does this all the time, I just wouldn't know. I've only known her for one day. Although, this just doesn't seem right.

The guards open her door and close in on her. She runs into the corner of her cell, crying. Things are so confusing now, I thought she was mad?

"No, please Calum, I'm sorry" she cries, pushing him away from her. Watching her cry makes me feel upset. She's been here so long, and I don't think she deserves it. She couldn't have possibly done anything that bad, she must've been young.

"Straight jacket. Shock first, but definitely straight jacket" my heart sinks at Calum's words. This is all my fault. I yelled at her, and that must've put her over the edge. I can't think of another explanation. I watch as Calum carries her out of her cell and down the hall, leaving me alone and confused.

-

Nearly an hour later, I'm sitting on my bed, thinking up this damn essay. I can't think of the best thing that's happened to me, because everything has been bad. I can't think past what happened, I can't think past her. I never had feelings for anyone and I thought she was just temporary, but I didn't realize how hard I was falling for her, so I tried to fix it, in the worst way possible. Every memory I would've chosen are of her, and now I can't even imagine it without wanting to kill someone over it.

I knew from the second I saw her that night, that she'd fuck me up more than I already was. She was like some sort of cold that would linger in my body for a lot longer than I ever wanted. She was like something I'd never seen before, and I truly believed in that the bright smile she only gave me. The smile that came about when I brought her to the fair, or when we went swimming in the lake behind my house that summer,  the smile that could cure any illness in the world, except mine of course, because I fucked it all up. My foot taps against the cement floor as I relive the way she'd look at me, I don't think there is any string of words in the english language that could explain the rush I got when she'd look at me. My pulse felt like it would shake my whole body with every beat, and echo through my head. If there was something I could do to take back my actions, I'd take the chance, not because it would get me out of this god forsaken place, but to give someone else the opportunity to be as in love with her as I was- am.

I remember her telling me that I'd never be alone, but here I am, sitting in this fucking cell, alone with my thoughts that could eat me alive at this point. I wish they would, then I wouldn't have to live in this hell. I'm not okay, not even half near okay, and I know that I will never be. It's not like I deserve to be anyway. I'm just so far into the deep end, that I never see myself coming back up. I'm so broken and screwed up, so I just know that no matter what the fuck they do to me here, nothing's ever going to change. She was the only thing that made me okay.

I push the memories to the back of my mind, not even wanting to deal with the guilt and pain.

"Luke." I hear, bringing my attention back to reality. I look up to see Calum standing outside my cell.

"Sorry" I simply say, not really wanting to talk to him. I know what I did, and I am sorry for attacking him, but I'm here for a reason, I guess.

"You're lucky Violet saved you" Calum continues, resting his weight on the bars of my cell.

"She what?" I ask, finally feeling interested in whatever he's saying. I'm not in a good mood, but I'm willing to listen now.

"You know what we were going to have to do to you, right? We had to do it to her instead" he basically cries out. I didn't realize how close they must be, but I understand. She's beautiful, and she's the only person here that looks normal enough to have a conversation with.

"What did you do to her?" I ask, standing and moving closer. If he hurt her...
No. It doesn't matter. People get hurt here all the time, it doesn't matter. I just met her, she couldn't possibly even bat an eye if she saw me getting hurt...

"She was sent into shock therapy about half an hour ago." I can see the guilt in his eyes, "I can hear her screaming from the break room"

I run towards him, lunging at the cell. "Get her the fuck out of there!" I scream, feeling angry. I didn't realize he was actually serious, what a fucking dick. He put her in there, it's Calum's fault. "Fuck you! How could you throw her in there? Can't you see she's already as fucked up as she can be?"

"If you hadn't freaked and forced her to save you, I wouldn't have done anything. She's doing this for you, I can tell. She's never done this before, except for once with that patient you guys hung out with at breakfast. Michael, or something? Yeah. She's been through this before, she's trying to keep you from having to go through it too" His words hit me harder than I expected. I never thought a single word that would come out of any of these stupid fucking guards mouth's would matter to me in the slightest.

I let it sink in, the thought of her saving me. I feel a warmth just thinking about it, knowing that someone cares. Even if she's only known me a day, it's still a good feeling.

"Is she... Is she going to be straight jacketed?" I stutter, tears brimming my eyes. This is all my fault. I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner.

"Given that she calmed down so quickly, no. Theres no need" he replies, with a smile.

"Thank you." I tell him, backing away from the bars. "I'll protect her from now on." I blurt, meaning every word. "I'm going to fix her"