Hidden Memories

14. The Past, Present, and Future

Izzy's POV

I was going to do some serious cleaning afterward. For the entire day, we were setting up the dining room table, rummaging through my closet for the "perfect" outfit, and worrying about how Simon will react to all of this.

Okay, so maybe I was the only one worrying about the last part, but, like I said before, I had never done things like this before.

Everything so far had been going smoothly. The dinner that Alec was preparing smelled delicious, the outfit that Clary helped me pick out was absolutely amazing, and I'm only 20% certain that this dinner will end tragically. So, I'm improving in my self confidence.

The Institute's dining was lit dimly, and no, not by candlelight. Alec and Clary visibly slouched when I told them that having dinner by candlelight would be a little too much so I watched them as they reluctantly took all of the candlesticks out of the room.

Other than that, I liked what they did to it. It was adorned with old paintings by Picasso and Van Gough as well as pink daisies. Clary had suggested white at first, but I told her it was too depressing for me too look at. It reminded me too much of Max's funeral. The table was pretty large, but it was designed to cater to ten people so there was nothing I could do about it. But, I still liked it; the room looked absolutely perfect.

The only thing I loved even more was my outfit. I generally don't like dresses, but for some reason, I felt comfortable and beautiful in it. It was a short sleeved midnight blue dress that went with my dark hair and made my light skin pop out. Clary fixed my hair so that it fell across my back in soft waves. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I never felt this good about myself. I refused makeup because, well, I'm not that kind of girl, but Clary insisted that I tint my lips with a shade of dark red, yet another contrast to my pale skin.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I turned to Clary. "Are you sure that Simon will like this look on me?"

"He'll think you're beautiful."

"How are you so sure?" I asked.

"Oh, come on, Iz, think about it! Did you forget how much he was in love with you?"

"Exactly, was in love. Who knows what he feels now?"

"Did you not see his face when he saw you enter the infirmary? He lighted up like NYC during the holidays. He was practically physically better when you came within five feet from him."

When she saw me hesitate, she continued.

"And, didn't he say that he loved you? If that's not a good indication that he loves you, then what is?"

I paced around my room, contemplating this. Okay, yes, he did say that, but what if he just said that I'm the heat of the moment? What then? I said as much out loud to Clary.

"Simon isn't that dumb. And, he's an honest guy. He isn't one of those people who lie to get what they want. Believe me."

I sighed. "I don't know if this is a good idea, Clary..."

"What?" She screeched. "You can't back out of this now! Please, the two of you need this! For months, Izzy, you've just been in pain, wondering if he's okay, and now that he is, you're not even going to spend some time with him? And, Simon, well, he didn't do much of anything."

"He still doesn't remember," I said quietly.

With this, Clary fell silent for a while. "Think about it this way, it's an opportunity to create new memories with him."

She was right. It was time to get up and stop acting like a little girl. I've endured things that were much, much worse than this.

Clary stood up to hug me. "Come on, let's go downstairs and finish everything else."