Panic Station

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The heavy wooden door creaked open as I pushed on it to re-enter the cabin. Scanning the scene I saw my mother, a picture of shock and guilt, sat rigidly staring at her shoes at the end of my bed, Dan and Iona were on his own bed, her curled up into his side, and finally my eyes landed on Emma, pacing the floor like a soldier on duty, awaiting confirmation of battle plans. 

She looked up at the sudden noise that had interrupted the constant shuffle of her shoes, and her pretty eyes widened as she lept across the room, throwing her arms around me, burying her face into my chest and holding tight.

I felt my pulse quicken and my palms became slicked with sweat. My body responded in it's normal way to such close proximity. She must've felt me tense up at her touch, for she released me not long after and took a step back, smiling gently. To everyone else, she may have looked happy but to me, the master of fake smiles, saw straight past it. Her warm brown eyes betray her curled lips and swam with a strange sadness that I coudn't quite put my finger on. 

"Are you going to leave?" Her voice was quiet and almost pleading. 'Of course I'm not' I wanted to say, or 'How can I leave? My friends are here'. But I knew that was pushing it, so I simply shook my head in response. She bit her lip and hugged me again, but this time only very briefly before ducking behind me and escaping through the door my father had just walked though. 

"She'll be alright." I looked up to see Dan grinning warmly at me. "She just needs a little time to adjust is all, to what's happened. It was a bit of a shock to her." Slowly, he took Iona's hand and pulled them both up and off of the bed to stand. His eyes met mine and sensed the doubt within them, for his smile fell momentarily."Trust me." Iona smile from beside him. 

"We're really glad you're not leaving, Phil. We'd miss you a heck of a lot if you did go." She said, gripping Dan's hand tighter. A ripple of emotion twisted in my gut at their entwined hands, fitting so perfectly together. It confused me how I could be both jealous of Iona, and still feel so strongly connected with Emma. 

"Philip, sweetheart. Are you sure you want to stay. Because we'd be more than happy to take you back home with us if you'd prefer it, it's really no trouble. We just want to keep you safe, love." My mum piped up from the end of my bed. Her face was wet with tears and it was evident that she felt partially responsible for what had happened. 

I merely smiled in response before walking over to the desk and pulling the wod of paper toward me. Light scribbles filled the room as I wrote out what I'd love more than ever to be able to say. Turning back toward her, I walked over and handed her the note.

'I love you, and this honestly wasn't you fault. Trust me, mistakes happen (I'm good enough to show for it). But you sent me here so that I could make friends and finally start acting like a teenager instead of a child, and now that I've found that and have just planted my feet on the ground, you want to whisk me away from it all?

I know it's only because you love me, and want to keep me safe from harm, believe me, I understand. But you can't keep me sheltered for my entire life. Therefore, I'd wish to stay here, with my friends, because for the first time in my life I actually feel accepted by people instead of marginalised for being different. 

I'm sorry for being a pain in the neck, I truly am, but I believe that sending me here was a really good thing, and maybe someday you'll be proud of me for facing my fears and becoming a better person for it. Who knows, maybe by the end of the summer, I'll even be able to talk a little.'

Her eyes welled up again as she hugged the messily scrawled letter close to her chest. 

"Oh, Phil. We're already so proud of you, we always have been. And if you want to stay, well of course you can! I like the friends you've made, they seem like a lovely group of people, and I trust that they'll look out for you." She smiled, before pulling me down into a hug. "Now, if you're sure you're okay, we'll get going and leave you to it. Please be safe, Phil, and if anything like this happens again we'll be straight back for you, am I clear?" Her stern look melted after a few seconds back into a calm and gentle smile, before she kissed my forehead and got up. 

My father hugged me tightly before following suit and then it was just me, Dan and Iona left in the room. I turned back toward them and grinned. I was staying! I told my father I didn't want to go home! For the first time in my life, I felt genuinely proud of my accomplishment. 

Suddenly, I was broken from my trance when there was an oddly loud rumble, followed by Iona giggling madly. I blinked several times before I saw Dan clutching his stomach, his cheeks flushed pink. 

"Yeah, I'm starving! Can we go to dinner? I hear we're having pizza, and I am totally in the mood for pizza." He flicked his hair absently before dragging both me and Iona out of the cabin, through the labyrinth of wood and into the canteen.