"It is impossible to live without failing at something – unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case you die by default."
— J.K. Rowling
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... Adam
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I held her hands for the first time. Henna was printed on her hands in delicate designs, swirls, flowers and dots. Dark red and her nails were painted black. Her right index finger contained the ring I promised her, a promise ring that I will be honest with her, be merciful to her and give her rights as my wife.
I looked up at Najma, her light brown eyes shining with happiness. "So, are we just going to hold hands, or are we going to sit down and talk as well? " I chuckled at how straightforward she was.
"Its up to you, Tumi ki karatē cā'ō?" What do you want to do? I asked her in Bengali.
She took my hands, and led me to the sofa, and from there we spoke about our weakness and our strengths. What we love and what we hate. We spoke about the future and what it might hold.
I couldn't stop smiling. I knew when I had the meeting with her (with her parents chaperoning), that she was the one. No doubt about that. It wasn't just her Bengali inherited dark caramel skin, it was also the way she spoke. So eloquent and soft.
We were both at the early age of 21, just about blossoming in to the person we want to be. And the person I want to be with, can complete my other half of the deen.
We spoke for hours, she was still in her white wedding gown, and it was just about going onto 3am, but I just didn't want to interrupt her. Everything she says just puts a smile to my face. And its not even about what she is saying, its just her voice.
But when she yawned, that is when we realised how tired we both were. So I got changed in the bathroom, and she in the toilet.
When she came out, with her night dress on, make up removed and her ebony hair down, I knew I could never tire from looking at her.
I opened my eyes to darkness and to a silent room. I checked the bedside clock, it flashed 1.30am.
"Alhamdulilahi ladhi, ah yana ba dana, a ma tana, wa ilayhin nushoor. " I whispered. "HasbunAllah, wa nim al wa keel" I whispered next.
There are some nights where I dream about her, those are the nights I miss her the most. But this specific event is a time that I will never forget. The first time that it is permissable for you to hold your wife's hand, is a an unforgettable moment, as all other women (except those mentioned in the Quran) are not allowed for you.
I remember that night, like it was yesterday, my beard was just about growing, and my mum was as excited as me (if not more) to have a new addition to the family. The happiness of both sides of the family, the way it was an easy process with no problems. SubhanAllah, that is how you know Allah has destined you for each other. If we weren't meant for each other, then, there would have been so many obstacles in the way, so many problems.
But both my parents, and close friends encouraged me and made dua for us to get married.
I decided to go downstairs, and get a glass of water. And then after, pray tahajjud salaah. Allah would not have woken a person up in the middle of the night, except to bring that person closer to Him.
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We were on our way to go to their teachers house, Ms Abdurrahman I believe they call her.
"I'm so excited. " Naeema said. I smiled, she still doesn't believe her teacher will be teaching her Quran.
"Well, you better believe it, because we are here already. " I said, and winked at her.
I parked the car, and texted Idris, letting him know that we are here. They unbuckled their seat belt and got out the car as well. I remember when I had to unbuckle their seat belt and also help them out of there car seats, now, they can do it themselves and Naeema is not even in need of a car seat. SubhanAllah, how time flies.
We walked to door number 47, to find Idris walking out of the door.
"Asalamu alaycum warahmatullahi wabarakatu Idris. " I said, and shook his hand.
"Walaycum salam warahmatullahi wabarakatu, how are you? " He asked. I responded with alhamdulilah and introduced him to Naeema and Nadirah.
"This is uncle Idris, he is Ms Abdurrahman's brother. " They both said their salaams and Idris let us go inside.
"Sophia, your students have arrived. " Idris said, as he put his head through the kitchen.
I lowered my gaze as the sister came out and greeted the girls.
" You will both be respectful and kind, right? " I said, addressing my daughters. They both nodded and gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek as we said our salaams to each other.
I thanked the sister and myself and Idris made our way to the halaqah at the masjid.
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"You see, subhanAllah, many people do not understand the severity of being suspicious of others and backbiting others, subhanAllah. " Shaykh Yassir said, on the topic of being suspicious and backbiting others. "It is absolotley forbidden, to be suspicious of others, be it your family, relatives or others you may or may not know. "
He carried on, " Allah aza wa jal says in the Quran, 'ـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱجۡتَنِبُواْ كَثِيرً۬ا مِّنَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعۡضَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِثۡمٌ۬ۖ '
'O you who have believed, avoid much suspicion. Indeed, some suspicion is sin. ' The leader of the faithful, Umar ibn Al-khattab, radiAllahu anhu said, 'Never think ill of the word that comes out of your believing brother's mouth, as long as you can find a good excuse for it. ' SubhanAllah, how many times have we heard something and have been suspicious of the matter? Or even have been tempted to spy on one of our brothers just to see if he is doing other than what we expect of him.
Abu Hurarayrah, radiAllahu anhu said, that the Messenger of Allah sallahu alayhi wasalam has said, 'Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; do not spy on one another; do not look for others faults; do not be jealous of one another; do not envy one another; do not hate one another; and do not desert (shun) one another. And O Allah's servants! Be brothers!"
Do you not notice, that our Rasulle says, that suspicion is the worst sin, not is a sin. The worst sin, so you should abstain from it. Do we not know, that Allah aza wa jal says in the Quran, 'Obey Allah and Obey the Messenger?' In many places in the Quran. "
I uttered subhanAllah, how many times have I been suspicious of many people in the past? And how much sin did I get from it? Did I benefit from it? No, by Allah it was just ruining me.
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A/N
Asalamu alaycum,
Sorry, I wanted to get something out for you, so I had to stop there, but initially wanted to write more on being suspicious, spying and backbiting, but in sha Allah I'll carry on the topic, hopefully in the next chapter with Belal.
Comment/Vote, if you feel it benefitted or that it was a good chapter.
