𝐇𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐑𝐃 │ 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐘𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐗𝐎𝐍 ¹ [✔]

[33]: what did you do?

How could she have known? How could she have seen it coming? You look back on things like this and you stare at your own stupidity because you knew then, looking back at the past, everything. She didn't know. And then, when she knew, didn't feel stupid. She felt angry.

She felt angry that not only was she, in the end wrong, but her goals would be a mistake. Something she should never have thought about.

If she had never thought about it, maybe people would have lived.

Whilst she thought selfishly that she could evolve, it would only put other people at risk.

Looking at herself, she grimaced at the constellation of cuts that stretched from her eyebrow down to her chin.

A trail of wounds that stung whenever she went near them.

She looked down to her arms as she stood naked in the bathroom.

Bruises were pressed into her skin, finger marks clearly evident. Looked to have the near force of a vice. Scratches followed them, indented marks and splotches of both her blood and someone else's.

She turned her hands over, to look at her nails which were coated with dried blood that clotted and the edges.

Gripping the basin of the sink, she pressed her forehead to the cold mirror. She breathed out deeply and hit her head against the mirror. Her head was already hurting and she just made it more painful.

Again, she hit her head.

She couldn't believe what she had done.

She wanted to scream, but the shower water fall wouldn't be loud enough to drown the sound. Her scream would be heard by Carl and it would wake him up.

She couldn't do that to him.

She needed a release.

She looked into her stormy eyes, her bottom lip wobbling.

She hadn't let herself cry for days.

She couldnt harm herself without it being more evident to everyone else that something was wrong.

She started breathing in and out quickly.

She was fighting for breath, and each one was a punch her injured side, which she gripped shakingly.

She felt like the floor was unstable, trapped in her own head while floating somewhere outside, looking back at herself, wondering, what she was doing.

She felt like her heart was locked in a cage, beating as hard as it could to break free. Like a boxing match was taking place inside her chest.

She gripped the sink so hard she thought her nails were going to unhinge.

Quickly, she turned on the shower and flopped into the bottom of the tub. Her head protested at the sudden movement.

She lay there waiting for a few moments as the sound of water churning water came closer. It didn't seem to come soon enough. She still lay there, floating in and out of her own reality.

Finally, the water came. It was freezing and caused her to intake a mouth full if it as she was shocked.

She turned on her side so it wasn't directly falling on her bare stomach.

Even as the water got hotter, she still hugged herself and her ribs ached a dull awful pain as she shook..

Her long-awaited tears mixed with the water. Streaming down her dirty cheeks. too long awaited. too long.