𝐇𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐑𝐃 │ 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐘𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐗𝐎𝐍 ¹ [✔]

[55]: imagination

I hurt all over. I couldn't find any other word to describe it - it hurt so much.

It's all I could think about.

I tried to focus on other things, like how Carol's fingertips felt against my wrist. The way Lori's hair fell. At which angle Carl's hat fell.

Anything to take my mind off the everlasting and allover tiredness I felt. It was like being drowned, slowly, the tenderness that felt like bruises scattering every muscle I could think off.

If you pushed me too hard, I would probably shatter.

The sense of vulnerability sent me into a wave of curling into myself. I wasn't feeling much inside but the need to keep to myself. To stop letting people help me because they're looking at me with pity, and sympathy. When I knew none of them could see inside my head and understand what I was going through.

Due to the fact that I never told anyone but Daryl and Shane about my occupation; nobody knew me.

Daryl was the only one I had ever told everything I could to.

And it wasn't even everything.

He was the only one of trusted to go near me when I was in this state. When I was sick beyond belief, with my guards down, and wanting to do nothing but lay down; Daryl was the only one I could trust to not hurt me.

Someone could hurt me, but he wouldn't.

So when he left it sent my gut into a swirling panic. He wasn't here to look after me and make sure no one hurt me, when I couldn't do it myself.

I wasn't feeling much of anything lately, all my emotions being behind a glass, with my fists lashing out at the surface, desperate to rekindle with my own self. But I still felt panicked.

My throat croaked out. "Wher-" i couldn't get out the other half before my voice cracked into a sharp whisper.

"Marley?" Lori turned her head towards me, brushing the hair that stuck to my forehead away. "What is it?"

"Where is everyone? Where did they go?" I didn't understand where everyone went. I couldn't multitask with everything around me.

Thinking only of the scraping feeling in my muscles.

"They've gone to a pharmacy to get you medicine?" She kept her voice quiet. I saw her look around us, then back to me. "Don't stress yourself."

I suddenly recoiled, hastily pulling my wrist away from Carol and curling into myself. My nails scraped my skin, digging heavily into my muscles in hope of stimulating some sense of warmth and relief.

The blanket they placed beneath me was scratchy and uncomfortable. The bare threads tickled my arms and cheek.

One of the women around me grasped my arms, turning me back over to my back. I let them because I was too tired to fight back psychically.

"Leave me alone," I whispered above me.

They didn't answer me, huffing at my guarded attitude. They didn't seem shocked that I didn't want anyone to be near me.

I had my eyes closed, but let one open to see if they were still there. They were, and I furrowed my brows in frustration.

Using both my arms, I lifted my upper body from the ground. My legs were restless and twitching.

I heard them say my name and felt then try to lay me back down, gently. But I brushed them off, leaning myself up against the fold down seat beside me.

I blew away the hair that fell into my mouth, licking my dry lips.

Carol reached out to me again, but I took her wrist into my own hand, throwing it away from me. "Leave me alone."