Angel, I Hear You

Uh, a little help here?

Ok, this is the first chapter of a book I've started, and I'd like you to read it and tell me whether I should ditch or publish. Thx! It's called You Shouldn't Be Here. The cover is up above!

When she saw him, she screamed.

  He was here. He shouldn't be here. He should be gone. He should be in his grave. He shoul
be rotting, in his grave. Not here, in Jessalyn's home. Let alone on her bed. Especially not on her bed eith a knife. A blodoy knife.

  "What are you doing here, you monster!!" Jessalyn screamed at him.

  "My dear Jessalyn, who's the monster? Aren't you the reason I'm dead?" he taunted.

  "Go away!! Leave me alone!!" she screamed, clasping her hamd sover her ears.

  He stayed put. "I said, Leave me alone, Frederick, upu monstwr!!"

  "Oh, so you do remember it! I thought my name was out of your head, the way you held it in," Frederick laughed.

  "You're monster, and I want you out of my house, into the grpund, and to burn in Hell!!"

  "Ahahah!" he wagged his bony, rotted finger. "Rmember what happened? What you did? What you did to me?" he said as je climbed off her bed and back Jessalyn into a corner, his voise rising.

  "It was your fault," Jessalyn said coolly.

  "You are still the one who killed me. The one who ended my perfect life. The one who reduced me to this," he growled, waving a hand over his rotted, bony body.

  "Well if you're dead, why aren't you jn your grave??" Jessalyn screamed as she tried to push him back.

  He stayed put, but waved his hand towards the door and jt locked. He did the same to the window and closed the curtains, never moving a step.

  Finally, he stepped back and sat back on the bed. Jessalyn immediately ran to the door and tried to unlock it, with no avail. The window had the same result.

   As soon as she looked back at Frederick, he dissapeared in a poof of black smoke. Then he knocked on the outiside of the window. Then the other side of the door. Then he proceeded to go around, knocking on the walls, and the window, and the door, fast enough to make Jessalyn collapse, clutching her head, sobbing.

  "Go away!!!" Jessalyn screeched. At once, the knocking stopped.

Still sobbing, Jessalyn slowly ligted her head and looked around. She was alone. Her door open when she tired it. So did the window. It was raining.

Jessalyn decided to take a bike ride. Her favorite activity was ruding a boke in the rain.

After coming back soaked, she took a hot steamy shower. After getting in, the water turned red. The water turned into blood. A shadow covered the bathroom light. There was a sick laughing sound that brought a scream from her throat.