In the painful silence, he slowly got up, face down.
"I-I'm sorry I c-caused you all trouble. I'll j-just leave now." He told them, voice quiet and at the verge of breaking.
With that said, he quickly flitted out of the room, and began his escape out of the building, breathing quickening with every step. Beautiful art works of Mount Fuji lined the walls, as well as intricately drawn flowers and birds, but he couldn't stop himself to look at them. He knew if he even stopped for a moment, he would break down and start crying, and he couldn't have the last of his pride stripped away from him if someone found him.
What pride? I don't have any pride. Not anymore. I lost it a long time ago when I was denounced as a nation.
No wonder West doesn't like me. I'm a disgrace.
He grunted as he felt a spell of dizziness hit him, and abruptly stopped to lean on the wall, clutching jacket out of habit, scrunching his eyes as nausea came.
"Sh...sh-shit..." He said panicked, clutching his head.
"Mr. Prussia has been under a great deal of stress and pressure when he was forced to stay with Russia and denounced as a nation. Particularly the fact that he was with Russia. It scarred him, and stirred a lot of anxiety and depression to him. Make sure he isn't put under any stress of any sort, and is kept happy and pressure-free. Even if Prussia was a nation, losing his nation-title has weakened him. He may still be immortal, however, he is much more human now. Much more delicate and fragile. His depression and anxiety is rather concerning, as he may have anxiety attacks if he is under too much strain. From an anxiety attack, he can become dizzy, have serious tremors, shortness of breath, as well as many other things. I will make sure you are both informed of the details, as well as prescribe him to some medicine to help with coping. Make sure you take care of him, Germany, and Prussia, try to be a little less reckless."
Beads of sweat ran down his face as his body trembled.
"Why am I so weak? None of the other nations are like this! Why am I like this!? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?" Gilbert shouted,
He slid down the wall, body the tremors increasing evermore.
I'm so pathetic. Look at me.
What would Old Man Fritz say? Just what would he say if he saw me like this?
"F-Fritz..." He gasped, clasping his hand over his mouth, choking a sob.
The greatest leader of Prussia. His father figure. The one who was always most proud of him. He let out a strangled sob as the tear gates opened. When Fritz died, he said he knew that he, Gilbert, would keep Prussia in safe hands.
"I-I'm so sorry F-Fritz... I'm such a p-pathetic piece of shit... I'm so sorry I broke my promise and lied to you... I-I'm so, so sorry..."
He never knew his wish died with him
His body shook violently, his head finding its place on the floor as he stared at the ceiling. The wooden designs were blurred through his tears, but he couldn't care less about nice décor.
"Gott... just kill me and send me to hell... I am so d-dirty... so tainted... so evil... so c-corrupt... I don't deserve to live... nor go to heaven... I am such a sinner... a dirty sinner..."
Why won't my heart stop...? Maybe God is listening to me... and is trying to make my heart fulfil a lifetime's worth of beats...
But I don't deserve that!
Images of his stay with Russia flickered through his mind and it took every ounce of his remaining will power to stop throwing up.
"W-West... I just left him... a-and I just made m-myself sinful."
He curled up into a fetal position on the ground... hugging himself tightly as his body shook. His heart wouldn't stop beating at a hundred miles an hour... much like his eyes that wouldn't stop bleeding salty tears, even when squeezed shut.
"I-I'm so sorry... W-West... F-Fritz...Lizzie... Everyone..."
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I'd like to thank TheFandomsAreMyLife for commenting and voting on the previous chapter, as it really got me to writing again. This chapter is rather short, I'm aware of that, but I'd like to say the next chapter will be a lot longer... and perhaps somewhat disturbing. I have put warnings in the description... you should be prepared. Up till now, things have only been building up...
Step into future chapters with caution. They may cause triggers... be difficult to read. Or they may be nothing. But... if you have had problems with self-harm in the past...
I just don't want to be responsible for putting people through pain. Self-harm is not a walk in the park and is most certainly not an easy topic. If you feel squeamish, or uneasy about it, please feel free to not read it. It's not... very graphic... but still...
...
Comments and votes are much appreciated.
~Felix
YOU ARE READING
Unwanted
Fanfiction"Is West going to leave me too? I had always been a failure for a brother, not being able to help him through World War 2. I left him all by himself with the Allies, alone, whilst I got myself captured by Russia, and taken off the map. He was right...
