I'm Just The Worst Kind [Frerard]

Chapter 8

Gerard's POV

I woke up with a light weight on my chest. When I opened my eyes I saw Frank cuddling up to me. He looked so peaceful sleeping.

My head was pounding and I really needed to pee, so I moved Frank carefully on the couch and stood up. He mumbled something about being cold, so I put the blanket over him and stumbled to the bathroom. When I reached the door, my stomach took a turn and I threw up on the bathroom floor. I knelt down and tried to make the dizziness go away.

I heard Frank stand up from the couch. "Fuck, c'mon," He grabbed my waist and helped me up. "Sit here," I sat down on the toilet seat and sighed. I could barely see straight, so I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I heard him clean the floor and when I opened my eyes, Frank was sitting in front of me. "You remember anything from yesterday?"

"I-uh," I thought for a moment. "Bert? Bert was here, right? He brought my alcohol. I remember him" I smiled and hoped he would be satisfied. I didn't remember why he was here though.

"That fucker, anything else?" His eyes narrowed, and I got scared for a moment. This wasn't the cute, awkward Frank who would blush at everything I said. Oh no, now his face was filled with worries, anger and guilt.

"Uh, no.. Frank, what's going on? Why are you so angry?" His expression softened.

"Nothing, you need to rest," He pulled me on my feet and helped me to the couch. When I had gotten comfortable under the blanked, Frank stroke my cheek softly. It was nice. A stroke of guilt hit him, for some reason, and he jerked his hand back. "I-uh, sleep. You need sleep. Just call if you need me, okay? Don't call Bert, whatever you do, not him. Okay?" I nodded and he smiled. "Good"

He turned around, grabbed his phone and gave me a last glare before disappearing out the door. I, in all honestly, was kinda sad he left. For whatever reason he was here, I didn't want him to go.

-

Three hours until Mikey's funeral and I was sitting on the bathroom floor, my hands and my suit all covered in blood. This isn't what Mikey would want.

"Gerard? Honey, are you in there?" My mom knocked softly on the door.

"Yeah, I'm just finishing getting ready." I paused. "Hey mom, do you think it would be okay if I just wore jeans..? I don't like this suit, it's uncomfortable"

"Whatever you feel like sweetie" I heard her walk away before I stood up and started cleaning my wrists.

-

"Oh, you look so handsome!" My aunt hugged me tightly, and I thought I might actually die. "I'm so sorry" She kissed me cheek and started talking to my mom.

Mikey didn't mean half as much to this people, like he did to me. Mikey was the only reason I was still here. If it wasn't for Mikey, I wouldn't be standing here, waiting to see my brother for the last time before he will be deep down in the ground.

The ceremony went surprisingly well. The words people said about him were beautiful, and everything was perfect. Until I had to talk.

"I-uh, I'm not really gonna say anything, I wrote a song. I-" My voice cracked and I ran a hand through my hair. "I did it for him"

The whole church went silent as the piano guy started playing.

"Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.