all i want :: s.m

2: she's coming

friday ¬ january 15, 2016

Sometimes people imagine things in their heads; they make scenarios and daydream just to distract themselves from reality, knowing that reality couldn't be as good as what is within a person's mind. Shawn has always made scenarios in his mind since that night, that someday—one day—he would have a reuniting encounter with Ella Rose, and he would interrogate her with questions that she would answer. And in his mind, her answers would be easy for him to handle, and everything was okay.

But as Dakota Harper's worlds left her mouth and processed through Shawn's ears, his head went blank, and he couldn't utter a word. It seemed as if he was frozen, unable to even swallow. His heart pounded fast and his hands were sweaty—but that was nothing new; Ella always had that affect on him, no matter what situation it was, good or bad.

As the gears in his head began to function again, Shawn had some internal conflict occurring within his mind. A part of Shawn didn't want to see Ella, never wanted to see her face ever again; this part of him didn't want to ever encounter with the girl that tore his hearts to shreds mindlessly.

However, the other part of him so badly wanted to see her face again, hear her voice, just for the sakes of not seeing her or hearing her for a whole year. This part of him wanted to know how much she has changed if she had changed.

But despite the evident difference between the two sides, they also had their similarities: They both weren't going to be easy on her. Both parts weren't going to be quick to forgive, and most definitely, won't simply just forget.

"Yeah." Dakota said after a while of no one speaking but just staring at her, speechless—the same reaction Dakota had when she eavesdropped on the conversation between the three girls, and no doubt, the same reaction everyone else had when the news spread. "I don't know why she's coming back, but I hope she'll finally answer some questions. You know, if she's actually coming back."

"Oh. Okay," Jack Johnson muttered, "Thanks for telling us." Dakota nodded and smiled before searching for her next set of people, running over to a new group to report the rumour. "Shawn?"

"What?" Shawn snapped harshly.

Jack raised his hands up in defense, "Chill, bro! I just wanted to see if you were happy to see Ella." All Shawn's friends knew Ella broke him, but they didn't know how she did it (just that she tore him apart), and Shawn liked to keep it that way. He was never too open about the subject.

"It's whatever. It's probably just a stupid rumour anyways." And once again, his conflicted mind was stuck between wanting it to be just a stupid rumour and wanting it to be true. "So, let's eat? I'm starving!" The six guys all shared a nod before making their way to the cafeteria, Shawn purposely trailing behind the group.

He had to stay at the back just for the sakes of keeping his "I'm over it now," reputation; he felt tears teasing his eyes, and he had to suck in his breath just to keep them sane. He wasn't nonchalant about the situation of Ella making a return, although he made his friends believe that he was.

In terms of emotions, Shawn had a war occurring. He didn't know whether to be happy or sad to see Ella, and that's what frustrated him. He knew he should be angry with Ella—angry and angry only—but for some reason, he still had the option of missing her.

-