all i want :: s.m

11: clean up, clean up

so sometimes i mistake the date for 2015, but it's 2016 in this time guys, just saying. 

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monday ¬ february 8, 2016

Shawn gasped in pain and winced back, glaring at the girl sitting in front of him with a wet tissue, faded blood stained on it. Ella crinkled her nose, muttering a 'sorry' before pressing Shawn's wound once again, hurting him once again. 

"Ah! Will you stop?" He snarled, pushing Ella's hand away harshly, leaning his head back on the tiled wall. The two were in the boy's washroom, on the ground; despite the slight embarrassment Ella had being there, Shawn said he would only allow her to help him if they went somewhere the teacher's wouldn't go—that 'somewhere' being the boy's washroom. 

"Shawn," Ella cooed, sighing and bringing her hand near his face once again. "I have to do this. I'm helping you." Shawn rolled his eyes in response but allowed Ella to dab his lip anyways. 

Though he didn't want to, he found himself gawking at Ella as she intently studied his wound. He noticed the actions she did: how she squinted her eyes in annoyance whenever the water rolled from the tissue to her forearm, how she would chew on her bottom lip for a brief second occasionally, how her eyes would flicker up to his, but she quickly tore the gaze when Shawn was already looking straight at her. 

"Wouldn't your boyfriend get mad at you for this?" The words have been kept prisoner behind his mouth, and the moment they escaped, he didn't regret the harsh, vile tone that came along with it.

Ella stopped what she was doing, stiffening, giving Shawn an indication that she actually did have a boyfriend—and that boy he saw her with was the unlucky one. Then she proceeded to do what she was doing with no source of eye contact made. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Shawn." 

"Don't play dumb with me, Ella! I saw you at Menchies when I was picking Aaliyah up. You were on a date with a guy—a guy you live with apparently—and you two kissed." 

"Oh...you saw that, huh?" Ella asked, guilty of charge, looking into his eyes finally. "Did you see me slap him right after he did it, or when I walked away and he drove off without me?" Shawn stayed quiet. "Jonah is just my annoying neighbour, Shawn. He wouldn't stop asking me out, and so I said yes but told him not to try anything, and he did. I didn't know you were there."

"He left you alone?" 

"Yeah. But I'd rather walk home than be in the same car with him anyways." Ella shrugs with a chuckle and pauses for a while, looking back at his scar, hovering the tissue on top of it and gently pushing down on the wound. "Shawn, I'm sorry-"

"Don't talk to me about that right now, Ella. I don't want to talk about it. I'm already physically hurt, and you talking about it would make everything worse...so just don't." Shawn cut her off, his teeth gritted, his peeved mood showing through his composure.

Ella doesn't respond, not even nodding silent. She waits for a while, until she knows it's safe to speak again. "So why, Shawn? Why were you fighting with someone? I thought you were done with that after..." She trailed off, her voice tentative, like she was expecting Shawn to rage at her. 

Shawn stills, blinking. He stays tense for a while before grabbing Ella's wrists, stopping her from dabbing his wounds. He harshly took the tissue from her hands, deciding that the cleaning session was over. He didn't want Ella to help him anymore; he didn't want her to be comfortable around him; he just didn't want her anywhere close to him. 

"You know, you were the one who brought out the best of me, Ella—the part of me I have never seen. But now...you're just making everything worse all over again. 

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unedited.