Just a Maid

Chapter 19

     I groaned as I woke up without much sleep. For the second time in a week I had a bad dream that involved Brianna, Donovan and I. We were all standing in a triangular formation facing one another in the dream. Brianna was staring at Donovan with a lovesick expression and Donovan and I were staring at each other.

     I started off by asking Donovan to kiss me and then Brianna begged Donovan to love her. Donovan wouldn't say anything to either of us, but he would continue to stare at me with empty eyes. It was disturbing, staring at his empty eyes, and as I heard Brianna plead for Donovan's love I had become sick with myself. That was why I woke up. 

     Knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep again after the dream, I decided to get up and ready for work. Despite Brianna and I's talk a week ago, she had gone back to her old self and had been screaming at me ever since. I kind of regretted telling her anything on that day.

*****

     "You look tired," Lea commented as we mopped the ballroom together - our last job for the day.

     "I am." I sighed. "I didn't get much sleep today."

     "Why not?" Lea asked, concerned.

     "Bad dreams."

     Lea frowned. "About what?"

     I looked up at her from where I was mopping. She was staring at me with concern etched upon her face. I knew I could definitely trust her, but for some reason I didn't want to tell anyone about my dream. Probably because I was a horrible person who earned the dream.

     "I don't want to talk about it," I said, trying not to sound rude. "It'll bring back the memories."

     "Okay, I understand," Lea said, returning to mopping.

     I began to mop harder as I suddenly felt guilty. Lea was such a good person and there I was, hiding things from her.

     "So, how are things with Donovan?" Lea asked, causing me to freeze.

     That had been a topic I never brought up around her anymore. After realizing the severity of my actions, I had decided to keep them to myself so no one could judge me. I knew that the damage had already been done, but I hoped that by doing that my actions were not as bad as they seemed.

     "Fine," I replied. "Nothing much has changed."

     "Are you guys getting closer? You guys spend a lot of time together."

     "No," I said honestly. "It's not like we do much when we're together other than -"

     "Kiss?" Lea cut in accusingly, growing serious suddenly. "Alanna, we need to talk about that."

     My eyes widened. I knew it. She thought I was a player, a worthless maid who happened to be a player as well. My throat began to constrict.

     "Talk about what?" I asked innocently.

     "Alanna... You've changed," she said. "You haven't been yourself lately and I feel like you aren't making the right choices because of that."

     "What are you talking about? I've always been like this."

     "Alanna, you told me you would never kiss someone's boyfriend before." Lea's eyes softened. "What happened to that moral of yours?"

     "Nothing," I snapped. "Why don't you mind your own business and leave me alone."

     "Alanna-"

     "Just stop," I snapped again, dropping my mop in frustration. "I don't want to talk about this."