Just a Maid

Chapter 34

I stared at the lamp I was dusting, thinking about the boy who sat at the other end of the main hall. His eyes were on me, I could tell, but I couldn't look back at him. Not after realizing what I needed to do to make everything right. Something that would leave someone - maybe me - hurt.

Sighing, I knew I was done dusting the lamp, but I didn't want to move from my spot. I was literally at one end of the main hall and Donovan was at the other. That meant that if I turned around I would probably look at him because I wouldn't be able to resist. And if I looked at him, those sickening feelings I received yesterday would return to me. I definitely didn't want that.

I heard footsteps enter the hall. Already knowing who it was, I sighed. This was definitely going to be a horrible day.

"Donovan." I heard Brianna say as the footsteps stopped. "Let's go."

"Yeah, let's go," Donovan replied, sounding tired.

They didn't say anything after that and I heard two pairs of footsteps leave the main hall. Curious to know what was going on, I glanced their way and saw their hands intertwined as they left the room.

Shaking my head, I tried to push away my feelings of jealousy as I finally stopped dusting the lamp. My feelings seemed to be the biggest problem right now because the easy way out of this whole mess was to end things with Donovan. I had realized that now.

Ever since I had met Donovan, my life had seemed to flip upside down. So many unnecessary problems and feelings had come out of just meeting that single guy, and sometimes I wondered if it was worth it. Then I would remember all of the beautiful memories we'd made and just how much I liked him, and I realized it was worth it. I liked Donovan a lot - a lot more than any previous guy - and I was too selfish to give him up. That was the official problem.

To be truly honest, maybe I didn't deserve Donovan though. Maybe Brianna actually did. Brianna had been left scarred by her mom, leaving her to be this bitch. As she said, Donovan was the only thing that made her feel special and I was pretty sure he kept her in check. Without him, Brianna would probably be a huge mess. She definitely needed him more than I did.

I sighed again, placing a hand on my forehead. I was getting a headache from all of these thoughts, but I knew what I had to do. It was not as selfish as what I wanted to do, but I was afraid. Either Brianna or I would get hurt in the end, and I wasn't sure who I was more afraid for. Both Brianna and I liked Donovan a lot. We both needed him in our lives in some way.

*****

I was sitting on my bed, reading a book I had borrowed from Leonardo. Books were definitely the only thing that kept me sane. Without them, I would probably have banged my head against the wall by now, hoping I'd forget that these past six months had happened.

After reading for thirty minutes, I heard a knock on the door. Sighing, I hoped it was Lea because I needed to talk to her. Our jobs had been a little hectic these days, so we barely got time to talk to each other. I had to admit I missed her too.

Getting up, I walked to the door and opened it slightly. To my surprise, Donovan stood in front of me. He looked glum as he stared down at me.

My eyes widened as he just stood there. I wasn't ready to talk to him. I was hoping I had a week until I'd tell him my ultimatum. Luck was definitely not on my side, as usual.

"Can I come in?" Donovan finally asked.

"Yeah," I said, snapping out my thoughts.

I opened the door for him and he stepped in. Shutting the door, I quickly walked to my bed. I was about to sit down on it, but I thought better of it. It would be better if I told him about everything standing up. I felt like it would help me hold my ground if he'd disagreed to the whole idea.