Just a Maid

Chapter 40

     I was packing up my things with a heavy heart. A heart that felt like it had sunk all the way down to my feet. I still couldn't believe that after everything we had gone through, Donovan and I couldn't be together.

     When I had told Donovan that after I cried into his arms, he shook his head vigorously. He told me that I was crazy and that we would always be together. Maybe not literally together in the same room for a while, but somehow we would. Somehow things would work out for us, he had told me.

     As he said that, I forced a smile and agreed. Donovan looked just as heartbroken as me, and I could tell he was forcing himself to be positive. It hurt to see him be like that, so I decided to pretend to have hope. It seemed to make him feel better because his eyes didn't express his pain as clearly anymore. Knowing that, I was satisfied until he left.

      When Donovan left after some heartfelt goodbyes, I cried once again. Bawled my eyes out would describe what I did better. I just couldn't believe my happiness had been yanked away from me like that. Literally I had felt on top of the world a moment ago, and then Brianna had to kill it by firing me. Honestly, I didn't blame her, but the situation was still terrible. I still felt terrible about everything as well.

     I sighed as I emptied out my shelf. Luckily, I hadn't brought a lot of things here because I actually didn't own much before. That made packing quicker. However, I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave just yet. Despite hating this job, there was a lot of things I would miss. Lea and Donovan being the most important things.

     Remembering Lea existed, I made a mental note to say goodbye to her. She didn't know my current situation yet, and I wondered how she would take it. I knew I wouldn't take saying goodbye to her well.

      Sighing once again, I found myself wondering about what I would do now. My plan was to go to my parents house, but I knew they would be furious with me. First I didn't go to university and now I had gotten fired from a well-paying job. I would be a disgrace to them. Unwanted as well. There seemed to be no place for me in this country of Imperial.

      I thought that until I grabbed the last thing on my shelf; a book. It was a book I had borrowed from Leonardo's library. A book that began to make me realize something. My eyes widened.

     I had totally forgot about going to university to pursue writing. After Donovan and I talked, I had completely forgotten about it because my decision was the suck up this job for him. Now that he was out of the picture, and so was my job, I really didn't have anything holding me back. I could pursue a career in writing. That had been my original plan if things didn't work out between us.  

      My heart began to hammer against my chest as I left the book on the shelf. The idea of going to university made me feel both excited and nervous at the same time. On one hand, I really wanted to do this. I wanted to write incredible books for people to read so they could find safety in them like I did. On the other hand though, I was scared. I didn't know if I would like it and I didn't know if I was good enough to make it in a career such as that. More than anything, I knew I really need to talk to Lea.

      Taking in a deep breath, I decided to quickly finish up packing so that I could talk to her. Now that I had lost everything, I needed to do something to at least try to be something. Something bigger than just a maid. I couldn't do that alone though. I needed my best friend.

                           *****

      Holding the handle of my suitcase that sat on the floor, I knocked on Lea's door. I felt nervous because I was lost. Lost in what to do with my life that was. Going home and saying I got fired was definitely not a good idea. Anyone who knew my parents would agree that they would literally kill me. This seemed to be my only other option, but I didn't know if it was worth it. If I was worth it actually.