Our Chemical Direction

Chapter 16: Job Offer

{Thorn's POV}

My depression has been worse lately. I've convinced Louis that I'm fine, but I've fallen back into old habits.

I need rehab, a hospital, anything. I can't put the drugs down, they make me feel in control. He never sees me when I'm high, I make sure he's never around, but Frankie has. I've been staying with all of the guys in order to "visit" while Louis spends his time at the apartment.

Frank has been lecturing me, but I can't seem to grasp anything he's saying. "You're going to ruin your life." he yelled. "You'll be fine. Just tell th.." I was nodding out, confused as to what the conversation was about. "You're fucking high? You're high while talking to me? You need help, Thorn." he whispered, lightly grabbing my shoulders.

I smiled. "Yeah, I'm the definition of a junkie." I chuckled. He frowned. "Does Louis know that you're hooked on heroin?" he asked. I shook my head. He rolled his eyes. "What happens when he finds out?"

"As Dean and Sam say, 'We'll cross that bridge when we come to it'." I slurred. The alcohol and heroin mixed into my bloodstream. "That's not a real answer. The real answer is too devastating to admit, so you say that. Didn't you learn anything from that episode?"

"I learned that Jim can't ever see his family again." I laughed. He sighed. "I'll talk to you when you're sober."

I fell asleep soon after, my dreams altered by the drugs.
*******
The next morning I went straight to Frankie's room. "I've decided to go to rehab, but Louis can't know." I told him. He nodded. "We'll tell him you got a job offer and that you're going to try it for a few months and see if you like it." he solved the problem.

"I'll be back to say goodbye, I've gotta tell Louis and come up with details for this alibi. Do you mind calling someone in the US so its set up when I get back?"

He nodded and went to work straight away. I got in the car with a hangover and drove to the apartment. Louis was sitting on one of the couches when I walked through the front door.

"Louis, I have news." I announced. "We're pregnant?" he asked excitedly. My eyes started to water as flashbacks and made up memories of a possible future came popping into my head. "No. I've been offered a job as a teacher. A school wants me to teach percussion to their students." I covered. His face fell.

"How far away is it?" his voice grew quiet. "Its in the US." I whispered. His head dropped. "Why? Are you unhappy with me? Do you want to leave?" he whimpered. "No, that's not it at all. I just need a break from all the press. Its only temporary." I explained.

He was still upset, as expected. Temporary doesn't make much of a difference. "I love you."

"I love you too. I just don't want you to leave me." he sighed, reaching out for a hug.
******
I had said my goodbyes and was being driven by Frank to the airport. "Good luck with Gee. I hope you two go far together." I smiled. "I hope you recover. If you ever need anything, call me." we parted ways.

It took a while to get to Colorado, which was where my rehab was at.

I had decided to party before I was made sober. I had rules, though. No hardcore drugs, and no more than 7 drinks.

I had found a club and decided to visit. A man sat next to me at the bar. I had already consumed two shots of vodka and smoked a joint out back. "What's the occasion?" he asked. "Rehab."

He chuckled and ordered me a third shot. "Then party it up!" he shouted over the music. We clinked shot glasses and downed the clear liquid.

By the end of the night I was completely disorient. I was positive I had been drugged. "Hey, sweetheart. You look smashed. Wanna stay with me?" the same man had asked. "No, I'd just like to get back to my hot-" I had blacked out.
******

⚠WARNING SMUT/TRIGGERS⚠
I woke up in a different hotel than the one I'd been staying at. I was tied to the bed, scared and still buzzed. I tried to scream but nothing came out.

The guy walked into the room, holding a knife. I wanted to scream and ask to be released, but I knew that wouldn't happen. He started carving into my already scabbed thigh. I screamed. It was deeper than I'd ever cut before. I could feel the muscle being sliced.

I attempted to kick him but my legs were tied as well. He then started twirling the blade on my stomach, having it catch on uneven skin every so often. It felt terrible and there was nothing I could do. I finally regained my vocal chords.

"Louis!" I screamed, crying. I couldn't think of anything else but his face. How he doesn't even know where I really am, how I went from almost birthing his child to this. I started feeling an adrenaline rush. My emotions swirled. I knew what I had to do.

"That's not my name, sweetheart." he purred. I gagged mentally, but kept my cool. "What's your name, then, sugar?" I choked. He chuckled. "Master."

I almost fucking threw up. That is the grossest shit I've heard in years.

"You don't have to tie me up. A handsome boy like you shouldn't have to tie up his play toys."

How the hell was I getting through this without choking on my own bile? I wasn't sure, but he was buying it. He snickered and untied my legs. "Spread em wide, hun."

I obeyed, in order to make him think I was complying. "Untie my hands. I wanna feel you." I lied. He did as I asked and I immediately elbowed him in the eye. He screamed.

I threw on a shirt and gym shorts, grabbing the rest of my clothes and running.

I'm amazed at how many times I've gotten into and gotten out of this situation.

I needed to get a plane home as soon possible, and tell Louis that I made a mistake.