Amber. [A Poetry Book]

Exulansis

I sit alone thinking of the past

When things were too good to be true.

I hold back the tears that beg to be released

Because it feels like the right thing to do.

I have a story to tell the entire world

One with many bumps and twists and turns.

But once I begin to describe the pain I feel

The thought of opening up about it burns.

I let this story of struggle go untold

Since it seems like no one can possibly relate.

As time goes on, it begins to fade away

It can't be stopped - it's now too late.

Years later, the memory is now long gone

The details have become sketchy and vague.

It seems impossible to believe that I can't recall

An awful experience that killed me like a plague.

***

Hello, guys.

Have you ever felt something, but couldn't think of the right word to use to describe how you felt? Well, I'm kind of in that situation.

So, here's a word for you guys.

Exulansis (n.) - the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it—whether through envy or pity or simple foreignness—which allows it to drift away from the rest of your life story, until the memory itself feels out of place, almost mythical, wandering restlessly in the fog, no longer even looking for a place to land.

I'm experiencing a lot of emotions right now, but this is one word that describes one of the emotions I feel. 

Try to find your inner word. That is all. 

[Dedicated to pallid_peaches because I was texting her and she came up with the idea of writing a poem to describe not being able to find the right word to describe an emotion. Well, I found the word, so I described it in a poem. Kind of the same thing, but not really. She gets credit for the idea. XD]

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